Sticking With It: Challenge

Writing short little epithets, as seen below, after completing a 10-minute meditation has been a part of my meditation practice for just over a year. After nearly 400 days of continual practice with the Calm app, I am open to continue with the learning and growing. Recognising that I have an inquisitive and restless mind has been testing. Finding a practice that reduces anxiety has been useful for me to develop a better understanding of myself. The practice of 10-15 minute meditation every day also supports maintain my focus at this challenging time of World History.

Wise words
The quote from calm that inspired this post was – ‘Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away’ by Pema Chodron.

My response
@calm ‘Noticing that challenges are made to be overcome and they are as much ‘How’ as they are ‘When’. Ask for guidance or help when needed #meditation.

To the quick
The example of the short quip above, is an effort to show that I understand the difficulty of not turning in the opposite direction. Away from the source of uncomfortable challenge. Making a fail safe leave plan when things get tough. Like now!

Healers
There is an attempt to take the quote and re-interpret Pema Chodrin’s words. I then offer both the quote and my interpretation as a support. You may have seen the quote/remix on various social media spaces I inhabit. The quote/remixes are also a way to share that, should someone want access to mental health support I know of many who could be of impactful assistance.

Challenge as a bridge

Target 400
After 395 days of consistent daily meditation practice and a solid bombardment of information about the Corona-virus/COVID-19 pandemic. My need for meditation happens to be both an escape and a cure to return the mind to a steady hum. I have found the practice to be a salve.

Reset
The hype, hysteria and hyperbole of the disease and recognisable human responses including denial, panic buying, hoarding, frequent information fly wheel gathering, does little to aid our capacity to find a level state of mindful yet calm awareness. In fact it is often quite the opposite.

How
To overcome a challenge is a request to understand what it is and how it may affect things for you, family, friends and colleagues. See the challenge as a problem to solve. Aim at becoming creative and communicate with others about what the challenge is and see if others have met/experienced a similar difficulty and what they did? Rarely are you the only person to have faced a problem like it. Accepting advice could be an appropriate way to make it to the other side.

When
That can all depend on you. Running away from the challenge usually puts the difficulty off for an undefined length of time. But, it will return. It usually is an universal phenomena. ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ was a saying my mum would say to me. Possibly her mum may have said it to her too when she was in her teens.

Train
It would be understandable to remove yourself from a challenge for a short time, build up the necessary skills, strength, understanding and then return and overcome said problem.

Result
The outcome for getting beyond the difficulty is the learning we gain from doing so. Being a life-long learner and a perpetual student of life supports growing past false limitations, possibly put in place by others. Apply understanding and continue honing, growing and improving. I believe growing after facing adversity is one of the best achievements of our lives. Becoming a therapist is a part of that story for me, but so is becoming a father, supervisor, lecturer, writer

Resources
Tom Bilyeu Impact Theory: Agent Smith
Science of Success with Jim Kwik

Images
Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash
Photo by Chinh Le Duc on Unsplash

Insidious Insight

Rather than fighting when repeatedly attacked I like to write. Here my assailants can be imaginatively deposed…

The peck, peck, pecking,
Had to stop.
The bird had to die, or
Fly. I made it
Flee. Feathers scattered
Like leaves

Behind it’s behind.
The dust it kicked up,
The mess it left.
Reluctantly I picked
At, kissing teeth
Wanting to give chase!

Make sure it left, or
Died bloody.
Sometimes bloody is
What the Leghorn
Knows. Head cocked sideways
Cocky confident.

Airless, knowing less
Every passing day.
I should have chased
Him, made sure he’d
Gone away – dead.
Bad feelings stirred.

Can’t shake them loose!
Stupid goose, silly
Rabbit, crazy
Chicken.

What’s left, are little
Eggs, that can’t be
Seen, felt nor found.
But grow and sap
Strength, from all
Wounded nouns.

Invisibly unlike
Chinese knot weed!
A vine that kills
Everything bound.
Strangling for air,
I wish we never

Met, because your
Depravity eats inside
Of me, like seeds,
From a rotting flower.
Infected my story.
Illuminating what psychology

Can not undo.
The persistent pecking,
From a past riddled
With you
Inside of it.
With lies told.

Continuously, confusingly,
Laboriously splitting,
Futures infinitely.
Denying freshness
Chance to break
In and free…

And look at,
Us, You, her, them.
A quickening,
Insanity installation.
Ruins the light

Again

Resources
Criminal Call Russ Ewing

Images
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

Investment in Therapy pt 3

I have been hinting throughout the previous 2 blogs that there are times when our brains do not support us to live well. There may be a number of reasons for the mind to act in a dubious way towards you. The reasons can include past thinking patterns, current or present living situations, nutrition, lethargy and using the body less often doing light exercise, relationships with others and a host of other experiences can negatively affect the mind.

Out to Get Us
The effects of the mind becoming an agent looking to undermine and derail us are similar to agent Smith in the Matrix. Agent Smith tried to finish Neo unsuccessfully many times. The effects of a mind becoming unwell are well documented.

3 Types
The point I am driving at is, by accessing the support and resources of someone else’s mind, (final flight scenes in the Matrix) can help someone who has entered a negative thinking pattern to realign those thoughts!

Tools in thinking approaches can be used to review what aspects of a person’s experience can be altered, left behind or actively engaged with to create a better now and future. C.B.T. and D.B.T. (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) E.M.D.R (Eye Movement De-sensitisation Reprocessing) are 3 therapeutic approaches that have been shown to have positive outcomes for a wide range of people who present with depression and anxiety and altered thinking patterns who are unable to re-route to have healthy thoughts.

Social for a reason
As social creatures we learn and gain ideas from others all the time. We have existed in a teach and learn from others for millennia. In therapy whilst some of the work is on you to figure things out for yourself, having a professional with you can help jolt the mind to begin thinking new and amazing ideas/thoughts/beliefs.

A coach or mentor will actively challenge you to think bigger or directly upset how you are viewing the world you live in. The aim in therapy/coaching/mentoring is to support you begin expanding and testing new thoughts.

The fear of engaging in support, could be that a person can stay thinking the thoughts they had originally. Remaining – Stuck. With a Flat affect. All around morose.

Exhibit A: It is about You
Then again the visit to the GP. The IAPT appointment happens or you make a last ditch attempt at seeing that therapist friends advised you to see.

You vampire like swoop to the transport to get you there just on time or a few minutes late. Mumbling at reception your request for the appointment with Ms D or Mr S. Your buzzed through and then…

Therapy begins.
Slowly at first.
One session.
An introduction.
The assessment.
You of them.
(Will this work?)
Them of you.
(Not sure, well, maybe?)
A feeling out of them, you, the space.
Do they really listen?
Have they really understood?
You test them.
Can they handle the real reason of why you came?
They sort of pass.
This could work!
The 59 minutes pass and
They politely intuit that
Your time with them is
Over. With a nod,
A slight
Smile, they say “See
You, next week?”
As though unsure of what
They have unleashed.
Not exactly the Cracken,
A distant cousin. The
Bracken? Maybe. As if on
A washing line you
Return and something
Begins to lift…

Slowly…

Exhibit A continued
The investment appears a sound one. The spring has returned. There’s renewed confidence. It looks brighter now. How did that happen? What trickery is this? Some call the experience of feeling renewed and invigorated, therapy. Others healing.

Whatever it might be, it feels good all the way to the bone. If you can cast your mind back to the last time you felt like this? Free. Happy. A willingness to be patient. Filled to the brim with energy. Spontaneous. Taking careful risks. Life before was a feeling of seemingly limitless time. This may have been before. You may have been younger then and that thing, those things hadn’t happened…

Therapy/Healing/Mentoring/Coaching/Consulting can help you to arrive at spaces that can make you want to try again.

We could ask is this a worthy investment…?

Resources
Tim Ferris interviews Brené Brown
Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu Keynote Speech 2016

Images
Photo by David Brooke Martin on Unsplash

Investment in Therapy pt 2

On continued thinking about psychotherapeutic treatment and Investment in Therapy, we could be invited to recognise that the human body has a Doctor, a Physiotherapist, a physician or even a dietitian. A car has a mechanic. A house an architect, electrician, carpenter, plumber, builder or gas engineer.

What do we prescribe for our minds? A psychiatrist, a pill and drugs, Sleep, a book, a counsellor or psychotherapist?

Waiting for Help
Yet it can take a long time to get the help from a mental health professional waiting on the NHS for IAPT support.

What if you were to see mental health support as a worthy investment in to yourself? A significant £200 – £350 – £1200 per month investment for a period of 6 – 9 months? And then no more suppressed pain or payment to recover from years of denial. That you have placed a high premium yield on resolving past issues and concerns. The investment would result in more head space, energy, resilience and healing for you.

Value
What are the outcomes of paying good hard earned investment money into a stock or bond or even a bank? You get a return on your investment generally. The warning usually is, that your capital is at risk, which it is. Things in the financial world can sometimes yield less, potentially.

Guarantees
What assurances are there for counselling and psychotherapy to be a good investment that could go well for you?

Well the honest truth is a therapist will work hard to ensure that what happens in those 50 – 100 minutes goes well. A therapist will diligently work in a way that is largely supportive. They will also challenge you and help to bring about change in either a micro or macro way.

The big question here is are you ready to invest in that type of change? Do you have the capacity, support, strength, resilience, time, resources to invest in therapy?

Patience
The other question that needs to be asked is how much longer are you going to live with the inner buried emotional pain?

The bereavement, the divorce, the loved pet that had to be put down last year that you can’t bring yourself to buy another because, well you know…

The empty nest, the immigration to the other side of the world, the war you escaped from, the worries of parents as their child transforms into a teen and wants to go places without them, the new job, the work colleague that’s difficult to work with, beginning to identify as a different gender or becoming gender less, the student debt and wondering if ever you can pay back that loan, the mortgage and car payments, growing into an awareness of being attracted to others who are the same sex, Christmas, new year goals, holidays the list is near endless.

Growing Waves – Brighton

Swells
The sense of overwhelm is gigantic. We do well to get up, get our game faces on and step out into the world and face it – it being the ugly low feeling.

Then there are those days when getting up is too much. Anxiety, fatigue, low mood and all the moods have said today you are not going anywhere!

This is not a bad cold or flu this is an annoying niggle that grew. It started on a Wednesday and by Sunday it had arrived. It sits on your chest slowly draining you, squeezing what life you had. Out.

Disguised Comfort
It (the ugly low feeling) wants nothing but your undivided. It wants you to stay in with it. It wants comfort. It is like a small child that won’t leave your side. It seeks no comfort from anyone else. Only YOU can make it better. “Talking won’t help” It lies. Getting outside in sunlight it cries “We will surely die”. And so you stay in. Calling work saying you are too sick and unwell to come in – today.

That project that you were excited about last week – you hide from. Even this project can’t save you. That excitement that once was there can’t pull you out of this. It’s too late one can begin to fear. It’s close to all lost and very nearly is.

Turning the channel on the TV to more Friends, Frasier, Telly novellas, African Movies, Safari programmes, Bollywood, House Fixers, Netflix documentaries, podcasts, online magazines.

Everything can seem so pointless…

Maybe there are other ways to be with this feeling? Have the curiosity to try something’s differently. Our minds often don’t know what’s good and healthy for us.

Resources
2 Guys on Your Head – Intrusive Thoughts
How to Fail by Elizabeth Day interviews Mo Gawdat
Johann Hari TED Talk


Images
Photo by Leilani Angel on Unsplash

Photo by Michael Opoku-Forfieh