Love Rains – The Mother Wound

It was a warm night in July and I had been tossing and turning for the 2nd night in a row. Another awakening was happening for me. I asked myself what to do with the discomfort of knowing half of the population of people on the planet are valued lesser due to gender? It is a nonsensical, that has bothered me for 40+ years.

Bounce
That night a song rebounded in my mind and I was left with a question. What can I as a spirit, living in a Black male human body support Black women overthrow the yoke of patriarchy? The supporting interview with Kim Evans that offered free counselling via Kaemotherapy is a reminder of the fantastic work already being carried out.

Zoom Overload
Rotimi Akinsete who is involved with Black Men on The Couch shared with me, that a Somali Woman recently offered her community the access to a free session of counselling support and 30-40,000 Black Somali women joined the zoom chat. A welcome surprise that there were that many Women who wanted to access support from the call. There appears to be much work to be done!

Anthems
Love rains is a phenomenal song by Jill Scott on her first studio album ‘Who is Jill Scott?’. The album, a launching of a new songstress-poetess back in 98/99. Who is Jil Scott broke down a small wall for me in relation to an appreciation of Black Feminism. Songs like ‘Getting’ In The Way’, ‘Long Walk’, ‘The Way’ and ‘Love Rain’ became summer anthems for me that year. Most of the songs involved Jill’s interpretations on modern love and experiences on adulting.

Step Over
My wall was small because I had witnessed many of the challenges my mum and sisters were battling against daily. In many instances I was on the same side of the wall – bar 1 – male. Council housed, poor, from a sole parent family, Black, lower class.

Cardboard
The box we found ourselves in appeared too layered to clamber out from. My mother wasn’t one to relent on the hustle. My sisters were all able to dramatically blow out the sides of the box in one way or the other and escape. They all leaving home at 15/16…

Warming Embrace

The telling of Love Rain is a song/story of falling in love, and that love being passion driven and failing/ending. She writes/sings

Listen while you read if you can!

Jill Scott F/ Mos Def
Miscellaneous
Love Rain (remix)

chorus:
Love rain down on me,
on me,
Down on me.
Love rain down on me,
on me,
Down on me,
Love rain down on me,
on me,
Down on me.
Love rain down on me,
on me,
Down on me.

Met him on a Thursday,
Sunny afternoon,
Cumulous clouds,
84 degrees.
He was brown, deep
Said he wanted to talk about my mission, listen to my past lives.
Took me on long walks to places where butterflies rest easy,
Talked about Moses and Mumia, reparations, blue colors, memories of shell-topped Adidas.
He was fresh like summer peaches;
Sweet on my mind like block parties and penny candy.
Us was nice and warm, no jacket, no umbrella, just warm.
At night, we would watch the stars,
And he would physically give me each and every one.
I felt like cayenne pepper, red, hot spicy.
I felt dizzy and so near heaven.
Miles between my thighs,
Better than love, we made delicious.
He me had, and had me he.
He had me tongue tied;
I could hear his rhythm in my thoughts.
I was his sharp, his horn suction.
His boom and his bip,
And he was my love.

Recognise
There may have been these experiences Jill sings about above, a number of years ago. Perhaps even post the CoViD19 pandemic, pre and post lockdown experiences we may have taken long walks after being cooped up for so long. Fallen in love with our environment outside our front doors again. Perhaps met a special someone…

All Set

Chorus x1

The rain was falling and slowly and sweetly and stinging my eyes,
And I couldn’t see that he became my voodoo priest,
And I was his faithful concubine.
Wide open, wide, loose like bowels after collard greens.
The mistake was made, love slipped from my lips,
Dripped down my chin and landed in his lap,
And Us became Nu.
Now me non clairvoyant and in love,
Made the coochie easy and the obvious invisible.
The rain was falling,
And I couldn’t see the season changing,
And the vibe slipping off its axis.
Our beautiful melody became wildly staccato. The…rain…was..falling…and…I…could not…see..that…I..was…to…be
Plowed…
And sown and fertilised,
and left to drown in his sunny afternoon,
Cumulus clouds, 84 degree, melody.

Love Fade Verse
The ending of love and passion heads into something more pedantry, pedestrian, passion free? I wonder what else could be said here? What a woman who has been let down by her love, her world, by the problematic system of patriarchy might say?

Support by
I am to, pay attention. Call out the many micro-aggressions. Listen. Take up less space. Be a witness. Recognise simply it is not about you (man) or me. It is about equanimity and equality of opportunity. The very basis of a fair society.

Wounded
There is a story for both the woman willing to be vulnerable and for the man unwilling to bear countenance of vulnerability, that seems to be a part of the hidden story of this song. The idea that by barely whispering ‘I love you’, has someone who has been hurt by love – run.

Internally.

Looking for safety.

Resources
The Goddesses Roundtable Episode 3 Healing the Mother Wound
Dope Black Women podcasts: Mental Health of Young Black Women And Young Black Girls with Ebinehita Iyere.

Images
Cover photo by Andrae Ricketts on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash
2nd Inlay photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Vicarious Trauma – Police Chase

Last weeks post Vicarious Trauma – Revisited, invited me to remember a suppressed memory. The memory was filed in a box that is seldom reached for. There aren’t many files in this box. It’s in a room that is locked shut. Big thick padlocks and chain.

Labelled: Confusion and Pain Lie here.

1st Job
I remember an evening shift at McDonalds. Full of the usual fare. Me in the back room. Working my 7.5. Supporting the close down. Collapsing the boxes, re stocking shelves, getting changed and leaving Cathedral Square – Peterborough to make my 4 mile cycle ride home. Mum was alive then, 90/91. We all still live in New Werrington. I have either had a full week at College and am on a late shift mid week or am on an evening shift on a Saturday night. No main dramas. Some late night revellers asking for extra chips or a free burger.

Crime
The ride home was uneventful until the rain came. I am midway home. I have no lights on my bike. I am cycling reasonably fast. Traffic on the roads – light – mostly heading in to the city centre. I have crossed the dual carriageway over the footbridge leaving Dogsthorpe into Paston ridings. I am thinking of how the nights events were funny and silly. I have a hamburger hum about me. The grease fat seems to cloak me even though I didn’t fry food that night.

Police Cruiser

Sighted
I round the last bend before the slight downward hill from Gunthorpe into Werrington. I pass a police cruiser lazily heading away from Werrington. Reaching the footpath that takes me to the water linkway and on to my home, I chance a glance behind me and notice the police car ominously turn and head in my direction.

I don’t stop to think. It is cold. It is wet out. I want to be home. The police car picks up pace and blue lights begin swooping. The police car mounts the curb awkwardly and speeds across the grassy verge. I note the headlamps sweep in my direction. If I can just pedal hard I can make the distance to the bollards before they can catch me.

I don’t want to speak with anyone, especially to these officers. Not then or ever.

Chase
The police car revs and I sense them close the distance between me and them, in a short space of time. They drive over long grass. Not using the footpath. Attempting to short cut. I am not stopping. Neither are they!

If I can just get to the wooden posts infront of the bridge before they ram me off the bike I’ll be free. The car skids to a halt infront of the bollards. I sail through. I imagine I hear one of the officer’s curse. I am away. I have made it!

My trusty bike has aided my escape.

Reflex
I am elated and bewildered. They could not be chasing me to tell me about lights on my bike. What if I had fallen? What then?
What if they had caught me?
What then?

I had no reason to stop.
The police had no good reason to chase.
But chase they did.
And flee I went.
Away.

Much like a dog after it’s chew toy, ball, stick thing. Thrown aloft. Thrown far and fast. Dog’s chase out of instinct.

It is possible the police chased me for much the same reason. Sighting a Black boy on a bike at a time when most young people were heading in to the city centre not away from it. The picture to them may have appeared wrong, strange, suspicious? There may well have been cause to chase and make enquiries.

From the moment they turned, the chase was on!

And this race, I was not under the circumstances – about to lose!

The Ever Growing

Two, One
The panic. The fear and confusion were unlike much else I had met before. There was the Stephen chase: aged 7. I’ll come to that experience later. The exhilaration of getting away this time was amazing.

I had been fortunate. Unlike so many others, sisters, brothers both here and there…

Vicariously
Watching films like ‘Just Mercy’, ‘Fruitvale Station’, ‘Do The Right Thing’ ‘If ‘Beale Steet Could Talk’ all have Black Men in unjustly familiar situations. These films appear to be in the abstract, distant, objective.

Not for me! As an empath, I am sensitized to feel each blow, every hate filled undignified look as though I suffered it. With these films I am often incensed and saddened. Their characters depict men pitted against circumstances beyond their control. That potentially either lead to their deaths or serving unjustified sentences.

Mark Duggan, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Sandra Bland – happen to bring the trauma of death and unlawful killing viscerally primed.

Leaving me
Looking for
Explanation, spinning,
Attempting to
Find balance.
Remaining askew.

Until…

George Floyd

Resources
I Can’t Breathe Again 2020 Poem
Black People Die in Police Custody
The Joys of Motherhood Poem
The UK is Not Innocent
Assumptions About White Privilege
Obioma Ugoala speaks about Anti Racism

Images
Cover photo by Fred Kearney on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Ashley Harkness on Unsplash
2nd Inlay photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash

Kim Evans of Kaemotherapy

Kaemotherapy

The Luddite and The Technological Savant discuss supporting Black Lives Matter

Meeting Kim online was a serendipitous moment. She has a prolific Instagram posting regimen with sayings, providing instant support to over 900 followers. I wanted to interview her as she appears to have her fingers very much on the pulse of what the nation is looking for – A smart experienced therapist who can be available in a range of formats to provide those seeking help with immediate relief and guided support.

Full disclosure, Kim has also recruited a team of therapists to provide 4 hours (up to 6) of free counselling for Black people in the UK. I am one of the counsellors recruited.

I wanted to know what inspired Kim to develop the concept of providing free counselling for Black People and then put the idea to the public for Kaemotherapy to be crowd funded? A quick calculation informed me that the provision will deliver over 40 hours of Free counselling and counselling workshop experience for Black people in the UK. Which I think/believe is incredible!

MO: Hello Kim, thank you for agreeing to doing this interview. 
Kim: Thanks for having me.

MO: So we have known of each other for a little over 2 months. Mainly commenting and referencing each other’s Instagram posts through the CoViD19 experience and I wanted to know a little bit more about you. We have spoken a few times whilst you were finalising the plans for the 40 hours of Free counselling. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Kim: I live in South London, studied in Nottingham.
I’m a Person-Centred Psychotherapist, Body and Trauma specialist,
I help people move forward from trauma they have experienced.
And support individuals to understand the intricate relationship between mind and body.

I have experience of working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and supporting BAME clients through racial trauma. I’m passionate about…

Fighting racial inequality and supporting black communities with their mental health. I have a private practice but I’m fully booked at the moment. 

Like Michael mentioned I’ve been offering online counselling and raising funds for that. It’s so we can support black individuals impacted by recent events and the exposure of racial wounds with the BLM movement. 
Check out my page 🙂 @Therapy_with_kim

A first collab
An outcome of one conversation between us


MO: Your instagram is fire. The posts lift me every time I see one, I am not sure if it’s the smile, the words, the image of the plant or the combination. What brought you to want to provide counselling?
Kim: Aww wow thank you so much. It’s interesting because I realised once I started to produce my own content rather than reposting other peoples stuff I got more followers and feedback. I think it’s about people understanding my values as a practitioner and getting to know me a little more. Also, I strangely muse on things at night when I can’t sleep, that’s when the best content comes to me.

MO: How long have you been practicing as a counsellor?
Kim: I’ve been practicing for 5 years now.

MO: How do you go about counselling? What approach do you take? You might have to explain that for someone who is not too aware of the many different styles of counselling.
Kim: My foundation is the person centred approach.

Fundamentally, person centred theory asserts that tensions between our external and internal worlds create psychological distress.

How that manifests in my practice is focusing on the autonomy & choices of the calient and helping them to develop their voice (message, desires, needs), delving deep into their subjective experience this may often include cultural and social contexts.

For example, if family culture or a country of origin plays a part in their self image and to what extent they want that for themselves.

I’ve also recently integrated some body work, meditation and body scans to support regulating my clients’ nervous system. This works well with anxious clients and clients moving forward from traumatic events which have let them numb or hypervigilant.

21st Century Mental Health Workshop

MO: You laughed at the word luddite when I was asking for technical support a few weeks ago, and you mentioned you studied at Brunel, what course did you study there?
Kim: Yes because it reminded me of my industrial revolution module in my second year of university. The rebellious workers adverse to industry advances smashing up machinery, scared they’d lose their jobs. I studied undergrad History and love it. My passion for my community was fuelled further when I studied the slave trade.

MO: Why this approach (Person Centred) and not one of the many other styles of counselling?
Kim: I just love and it fits with who I am and the values I hold as a person. Empowerment (voice choice) and redefining oneself to be flexible with lived experiences, has been part of my journey but I also have seen how its supported clients from different backgrounds and with various mental health issues. I did a bit of Gestalt training and I sometimes utilise attachment theory as part of assessments. 

MO: I know this is going to sound like I am interviewing you on Instagrams’ behalf, but what has lead to you putting the work in to display your services on Instagram, not twitter or facebook?
Kim: For the separation from my private space I have loads of friends on Facebook and I’m not that familiar with Twitter. I recently got a twitter account though, add me @therapywithkae 

MO: With your most recent campaign, providing free counselling and workshops for Black people what has been the response from the community?
Kim: The response has been amazing I’m so happy. I just wanted to help in some way as I was so angry with what was happening (still is). Loads have people have supported financially and all the counselling slots were taken up in a matter of days. Goes to show how needed it was at this time. 

MO: How did you go about selecting the therapists on your poster?
Kim: They were colleagues I studied with and therapists I’d made connections with since returning to London. They are all culturally competent, passionate about the cause and from different backgrounds. 

MO: What do you hope will be the outcome for the community?
Kim: For Black people to seek out and utilise the resources they have out there. Mental health awareness and support to be embedded in our families. For the ‘Work harder’ ethic to connect to emotional and psychological well-being as well as finance, academia and other definitions of success.

MO: Are there any plans for a similar initiative to be repeated again?
Kim: Yes definitely!

MO: How has advertising free counselling supported your business?
Kim: Perhaps you could answer that one Michael?
MO: I would have to say that I am being contacted a lot more as a result of my link to the Kaemotherapy offer. So thank you for that.

MO: Lastly you mentioned that you are soon to launch a podcast, can I ask what it will be about?
Kim: I have been featured in 2 podcasts recently which were a lot of fun to be a part of. I want to develop one and have a few ideas for a podcast. As with most things in life tt’s just a matter of having the time to develop them. I know that currently podcasts are a great way to promote an idea, and set yourself and your business as an industry expert. I am interested in doing that. Definitely.

A few challenges that are ever present

MO: Thank you Kim. I look forward to listening to these and what you later produce for a podcast. Now to turn the tables and ask, do you have any questions for me?
Kim: I do have a few. What made you want to be counsellor?

MO: That is a great question. I wanted to be an artist/architect/interior designer. At the age of 20 I lost my mother to cancer and that had a big impact on my original plans. A few years were lost trying to make sense of life and then became a youth worker, basketball coach and then a learning mentor.

These roles all seemed to naturally fall into psychotherapy and support at an adolescent level. I studied my first introductory course to counselling at Morley College and then jumped ahead of myself to do a Masters at University of Greenwich. That turned me into an integrative counsellor

Kim: What would your advice be for people wanting to do counselling especially men?
MO: Do a bit of research about the course you are thinking of beginning. What are the parts of the course that most appeal? Ask a range of counsellors, or former students of that course about their experience.

Find a mentor to support your learning journey. BAATN offer a great mentoring programme of support for students of therapy. I would also advise for anyone interested in joining this path to become a counsellor/psychotherapist, to begin resolving their affairs of home, job and of the heart as best they can.

The course is going to pull some hard truths out of you. Having a solid home team is going to be at times the best thing to have spent time investing into. Counselling courses can be life changing in both necessary and dramatic/dynamic ways.

For men I would advise to be aware that counselling and psychotherapy is a profession that many women have made a great career in Esther Perrel stands out as an example of a global success. Being on a course potentially could be the first time that a male may encounter being in a minority.

Welcome the learning. Try to listen more. Aim at understanding – Always. The Patriachy exists and we have played a role in it’s continuance. The question for me is what are we men going to do to revolutionise and deconstruct the imbalance? I grew up with 3 sisters and realised that life whilst hard, had potentially more unfairness for them.

Kim: How have you found the workshops so far?
MO: The 1st one was wonderful. I will complete the 2nd this evening on the 9th of July and the 3rd and 4th on the 16th and 23rd of July.

They are all free and look at Mental Health in the 21st Century. The workshops as you are aware as you attended the first week, are interactive and less about me talking at attendees and more with attendees.

I have found them useful and interesting to be a part of a learning experience. Many topics are discussed in just over an hour and I send to participants the presentation slides with useful follow up materials to support a person with their onward journey.

The following weeks discuss: Goals and Reducing Distractions, Reviewing Progress and Implementing new growth strategies.

Kim: What made you want to participate in the free counselling project?
MO: The death of George Floyd in May 2020 and the vicious attack on Rodney King 20 years prior deeply affected how I viewed the world in which I lived.

When you shared your idea of crowd funding free sessions for Black people with me, I think my answer YES was said almost like I was saying yes to myself 20 years ago.

Vicarious Trauma is a difficult thing to recognise or make right when an event viscerally takes over a persons wellbeing. Knowing that you would be helping Black Women and Men recover through 1 – 1 support and with workshops, looked like a courageous and affirming project to be a part of. I am glad that I have. I have met some wonderful people through the programme, who all seem ready to begin their therapeutic journey.

4 Week Workshop 21st Century Mental Health
4 Weeks worth of discussion and thought

Kim: What can we expect from the next free sessions/why should they join?

MO: The workshop Mental Health in the 21st Century began as a conversation had with you a number of weeks ago. The workshops will cover How to manage the deluge of information we are struggling under from a vast array of sources. How to reduce imposter syndrome and what steps to take to continue the work to change habits.

How to Focus and get shit done instead of eternally thinking and thinking and thinking about doing things and not getting them done, which causes a degree of fatigue and leads to impatience and frustration and then a sense of defeat that leads to dis-ease.

The other workshop topics look at Focus, Goals, and Reducing, reviewing Implementing. The aim of the workshops as you know as an attendee are to support fresher ideas and improve ways to live in a World that is moving and changing at an incredible speed.

Kim Explains the support on offer for Black UK residents.

The workshops are a culmination of thoughts I have had, fascinating discoveries I have gained from podcasts and articles I have listened to or read and a range of life experiences that I simply cannot keep to myself.

I’m like that child in the class room, arms pumping the air, waving frantically at the teacher or TA to call on them, bursting with ideas to tell the class or at least mildly entertain them with. Something that that kid knows, potentially is helpful but the class just aren’t ready to hear yet.

Yeah that’s me.

Resources
Keeping Clients At The Centre Kim Evans BACP Training
How to Cope With Racial Trauma ft Kim Evans MSc
Linktree @therapy_with_kae

Images
By Kim Evans of Kaemotherapy
Slide Presentation by M. Opoku-Forfieh

Kwanda: Men’s Group

New Dynamic
Sometimes words simply aren’t enough to describe an experience. I believe Tank said it best in the Matrix when he said “It’s a very exciting time.” Or words to that effect about Neo joining the Nebudchanezzar and finally waking up.

Go Global
Earlier this year I had a compelling conversation with Kwanda. Their interest was about putting together a therapy group for Black people. The group had the potential to attract members from Kwanda’s global village. Potentially people could attend group therapy from the Caribbean, countries in the continent of Africa, people from The UK, the America’s and from Europe.

Topics
On Wednesday 12th of June 2020 the 1st group began. 3 men were able to dial in and begin initially talking about their general matters of concern. The Lockdown, CoViD19, work and finance being under threat or stopping, being with protestors for a range of reasons with the public outcry for justice for George Floyd, some choosing to find another way to lend their support.

Having Substance
Jumping into It


Unknown
Once it became clear that the vision of Kwanda had been realised a joyful exuberance about facilitating this group over took me. I grew confident something of significance had been achieved!  That 3 Black men who had previously not known each other, could discuss via Zoom, topics that were of interest and concern for us all, and related to the other virtual attendees of the group was a remarkable outcome of the 1st encounter.

Growth
The 60 minutes passed quickly and were filled with moments of genuine laughter, surprise, empathy and disappointment shared by all to all. The 3 were quick to note how comfortable they felt about discussing some of the things they had found within the group. A felt sense of knowing the other, without the need for pretence or hiding behind masks of pseudo masculinity was what I sought to experience and did.

After
Some had engaged with therapy before and felt that whilst IAPT support had been useful, it hadn’t resolved their primary concern for engaging in therapy. The men stated that a free form discussion was useful in the beginning. The men shared that they were also interested in tackling personal topics in a more focused and direct way.

Zoom
The 1 hour passed in what felt like a few minutes! A brief check out revealed that they all wanted to continue attending and would return the next week. A healthy beginning to a 1st Kwanda inspired social change event.

History Repeats
For me, Kwanda’s Group Therapy clearly informed that psychotherapy can be accessed by all especially by Black women and men. I would argue that group therapy is what many from the African diaspora are involved in currently socially. The African Diaspora have been culturally and historically engaged in social economies for centuries. Twitter, WhatsApp, Facebook Watch Parties, Skype, Zoom, Instagram live and many other group social platforms are used to pass messages in ways similar to the old way.

Similar infact to the drum! Africans from yester year invented Tele-Comunication.

Perhaps in times of great change we could all do with some psychotherapeutic support. The vision of Kwanda for me, is that it’s about Legacy.

The, what we are able to pass on to those that follow.

Resources
Broken Record Rick Rubin and Daryl DMC McDaniels discuss therapy and music
What’s Ray Saying? Brother in Arms
Code Switch Some Of The People Knew Magic
TED Radio Hour Inspire To Action

Images

Cover photo provided by Kwanda take a look here
Inlay photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

Perfect Storm: Endings, New Beginnings

The events of the past few weeks coincide with events over the past few months. They appear to have met and produced a swell of human reaction and protest that would have been hard to imagine last year or even 20 years ago.

Liberty Looks

Never
I had thought that my last post on the experience of CoViD19 would be my last. That post looked at the fatigued experience of when will the Lockdown end and things return to something that’s near normal? But something cruel and as life affecting as Corona Virus Disease 2019, has appeared on the horizon and I am drawn to look at this too.

Brutality
3 Black people died in quick succession this year at the hands of law enforcement. A bird watcher in Central Park perilously almost became another casualty. The 3 were Eric Reason, Dominique Clayton, Brennan Taylor.

Demanding Equality

Sailing
A sea person I am not. But I have watched The Perfect Storm and enjoy seeing humans do battle against the elements. I cannot exactly tell you what makes a storm perfect. It may have something to do with weather, tides and currents synchronising to create conditions where storm surges of 40ft hit shores and coastlines. That would be me hazarding a guess.

Gasp
For the perfect storm to have happened in the way that it has, took a tri partisan event. A triple threat. The virus. The Lockdown. 3 Black People being murdered by law enforcement and then George Floyd. That feeling of breaking the surface for air may be the result, after being confined to our homes for long periods of time. We may want and need to react to self and state imposed incarceration. We may want and need to shake the dust off and stretch our collective civil might on streets around the world.

Watching the Watchmen

Swell
The deaths of 4 Black people in the US, may provide the perfect set of circumstances to take our 3 months worth of thinking and feeling, holding our breaths that we all come out of the ‘Rona alive. Then if we combine this sense of surviving with the injustice of people losing their lives unlawfully by law enforcement – repeatedly. If we add in, the deep seated feelings of sadness, confusion guilt, regret, shame, anger and rage. Then and only then breathe out in an exhilaratingly powerful way finally.

The slogan of Black Lives Matter and ‘I Can’t Breathe’ could potentially, take on more meaning. The sentiment being viscerally felt by masses because they, we get it. We too were restrained against our will for longer than we wanted. Some of us, unfortunately, just didn’t make it.

Letting Go
Shedding years of misguided notions and seeing clearly that life for certain groups of people have been harder for hidden and ignored reasons. Black peoples challenges have not solely arisen from our own design. The making of systems that demean and devalue and place one group of people above others. The idea of superiority was deigned as a right of being and has been implemented globally by Europeans. Black people have been demanding equality. It’s time

One
George Floyd’s death gave reason for many to leave the safe protective confines of homes and take to the streets. Stating to ourselves and internationally that the cause of his death was unlawful, unjust and is simply wrong. The world needs to see how we feel #FFS. The videos and articles I have seen of a world united against injustice is heartening.

One Common Goal

Continuing
For Black, Brown and othered peoples this fight has been long standing. We have been fighting for the betterment of all. Austin Channing Brown’s request of being Better Humans stands ahead all other calls for me.

My hope is for the ongoing struggle to produce tangible life affirming results like: access for all to have an outstanding education system, healthcare, job opportunities, secure and safe housing in neighbourhoods that value collaboration and place being part of a community and advantage over being focused on the one called I.

Other outcomes could include an ever present critical awareness of the impact of systemic oppression and racist policies profiting one group over and above others the world over and a willingness from allies to fairly reassemble the pie. The pie will taste better and there will be more to go around.

Anti Racist change is a demand that is to be met globally by everyone.

Resources
Kehinde Andrews 20 positive ways to bring about lasting change
Uncomfortable Conversations by Emmanuel Acho
Brené Brown interviews Austin Channing Brown on Unlocking Us
Explain White Privilege by Lori Lakin Hutcherson
Van Jones discusses George Floyd and what comes next
Harvard Gazette Interviews Prof Lawrence D. Bobo The Fire This Time
Quentin Fottrell discusses George Floyd, white supremacy – and the otherization of African American Men
Brené Brown discusses with Ibrahim X. Kendi How to be an Anti-Racist
This American Life – We are in the future
The Emotional Impact of Watching White People Waking Up to Racism

Images
Cover photo by mana5280 on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Donovan Valdivia on Unsplash
2nd inlay photo by Jacob Boavista on Unsplash
3rd inlay photo by 99.films on Unsplash
4th inlay photo by Leandro Valentino on Unsplash




Perfect Storm: Never

Never
I had thought that my last post on the experience of CoViD19 would be my final one. That post looked at the fatigued experience of when will the Lockdown end and things return to something that’s near normal? But something as cruel and life affecting has appeared on the horizon and I am drawn to look at this too. This post is serialised.

Resource
Kehinde Andrews 20 positive ways to bring about lasting change

Image
Cover photo by frankie cordoba on Unsplash

Perfect Storm: Intro

The events of the past few weeks coincide with events over the past few months. They appear to have met and produced a swell of human reaction and protest that would have been hard to imagine last year or even 20 years ago. The following few posts will discuss these ideas further.

Resources

Brené Brown discusses with Ibrahim X. Kendi How to be an Anti-Racist

Vicarious Trauma

Before
I was 17 when the vicious attacks by LAPD officers on Rodney King were made and became a pre viral assault for global audiences. This was before the days of the internet. News was gathered from television news reports.

When
March 1991. This was my first year attending an art college in Wisbech Cambridgeshire. The Isle College was as far removed from the site of the brutal attack as I could safely imagine. Wisbech was then a small rural town.

Heard
Police and their brutal treatment of law enforcement towards Black, Brown and poor people – a frequent backdrop to the music I was listening to at the time – Public Enemy, N.W.A. and Jazz infused Hip Hop.

Understanding the double speak of systemic oppression



A First
The Rodney King event was something I had heard about but never witnessed! The video arrived in as raw a format as it could be filmed. A video 8 hand held camera – shaky – unfocused – capturing a seldom caught, or filmed spectacle.

Art Imitating
A friend at the time a fellow student, asked me the day after if I was okay? He a white male. A skateboarder. Aware of the hare-pin trigger reactions of police both here and there. His query stirred me. Back then I did not have the language, reasoning or capacity to make sense of Rodney King’s attack. I don’t now. His experience was unfathomable. Later that year I queued up to watch Boyz n The Hood. The film gave me a sense of context and framing to what I had been a naïve witness to earlier that same year.

Sho’
This post is short primarily because other’s have words that are far more apt, powerful and relevant for this time. In our age of oppressive acts and fear based divisive ideologies. The Jury left the building a long time ago and aren’t coming back.

Over
For women and men like George Floyd slain because a combination of conflicting factors have violently met. This systemic experience now calls for historic revolutionary unprecedented change.

Resources
Othello’s Children by Jose V. Pimenta-Bey
Deconstructing White Privilege with Dr Robin D’Angelo
Russel Brand with Dr Kehinde Andrews discuss White Supremacy
Whiteness on the Couch by Natasha Stovall
Hell you talm bout by Janelle Monae
When Black Death Goes Viral by Kenya Downs
www.kwanda.co The Community’s Village
#howwefight It takes a consistent approach to change

Images
Cover photo by Tyrell Charles on Unsplash
Inlay photo provided by PK of Diversity Space who sourced the image from: Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence 2005 Adapted: Ellen Tuzzolo 2016; Mary Julia Cooksey Cordero 2019; The Conscious Kid 2020. Originally shared by Michelle Gyimah & Ashanti Bentil-Dhue on their LinkedIn feed.

With thanks to Dr CW, ATPN, The Family Across the Miles Check in and Diversity Space for the videos and commentary.

LA TERCERA GUERRA MUNDIAL UNA TEORIA: CORONAVIRUS

Es posible que nuestro mundo esté viviendo la mayor amenaza global a la supervivencia humana desde la epidemia de la gripe de 1918 y la segunda guerra mundial. COVID19 se ha definido como una pandemia, una emergencia global sin precedencia, y una guerra.

La amenaza es una proteína que una vez invade/infecta a su huésped, se reproduce, causa enfermedad y preocupantemente, la muerte.
Es la parte de la muerte la que es indiscriminada y derriba vecindarios y estados. Me recuerda a documentales de la segunda mundial y edificios siendo detonados en pedazos y comunidades destruidas. Todos hemos sido involuntariamente llamados a luchar, AHORA.

ADVERTENCIA: Esto es una inmersión en algunas ideas asociativas que tengo para apoyar y manejar la crisis actual. El objetivo es proporcionar ideas útiles y una breve descripción de algunos medios que he consumido que me ayudan a posicionar esta amenaza existencial.

Teoría del Gato
Compartí con un cliente la teoría del gato de Schrödinger para apoyar su aceptación y reconstrucción de la idea de lo desconocido que es el COVID19, cepa de gripe que está actualmente poniendo el mundo patas arriba. Sencillamente presente la teoría de un gato muerto/ no muerto en una caja como una manera de ayudar a asimilar la difícil realidad de la pandemia que es COVID19.

El virus me recuerda a un hongo (David Attenborough presenta hongos entomopatógenos) que afecta a insectos. En cuestión de días estos insectos se convierten en cadáveres que ayudan a propagar las esporas de los hongos a otros insectos desprevenidos para crear otros hongos. La naturaleza es ridículamente inteligente. De manera similar, un asaltante invisible está causando que todo lo que consideramos en nuestra experiencia mundial como importante y valioso sea derribado e irreparablemente alterado.

La Teoría de Schrödinger
Y así a la teoría del gato de Schrödinger. La teoría es que imaginemos un gato doméstico. El atigrado se coloca en una caja con un isotopo radiactivo. Debo decir que, en ningún momento se llevó a cabo este experimento.
Esto es un experimento mental, que invita a nuestras mentes humanas a tener dos ideas opuestas al mismo tiempo. Como en la teoría cuántica, donde la luz está compuesta de partículas y actúa como una onda al mismo tiempo. El isótopo radiactivo está conectado con un temporizador que libera el veneno en un momento específico pero desconocido.

La Paradoja de lo Desconocido
La pregunta a responder es, ¿el gato está vivo o muerto? Para un científico o una persona curiosa como mi cliente, se plantean cuestiones sobre la cantidad de isótopos radiactivos y la resistencia del gato. Otras preguntas también podrían incluir si el gato tenía comida o agua para mantenerse y por cuánto tiempo está en la caja. 24 horas es el tiempo que di como respuesta. Creo que para el experimento mental la respuesta fue una hora y sí, en mi ejemplo, había suficiente comida y agua para sostener al gato durante 24 horas.

Ambos
Ahora para responder la pregunta y llevar este nivel de preguntas a un círculo completo. Dirija la pregunta al virus mortal que está cambiando irrevocablemente el mundo. Porque no podemos determinar la efectividad del isótopo radiactivo. Ni la resistencia del gato. La respuesta a la pregunta sobre el bienestar del gato es que el gato está vivo y muerto. Simultáneamente. No está muerto ni está vivo. Tendríamos que abrir la caja y ver por nosotros mismos. Hasta ese momento debemos mantener ambas ideas como respuestas correctas probables.

¿Es teoría cuántica?
Fui un poco más lejos con el ejemplo del gato de Schrödinger y COVID19 con mi cliente. A nivel mundial, estamos en las cajas de Desconocidos conocidos y en la caja de Conocimientos desconocidos simultáneamente.

La amenaza para todos nosotros es el factor de no saber. ¿Podemos saber qué sucederá a lo largo del continuum entre contraer el virus o evadirlo y no enfermar? No podemos. Mirando los ejemplos de naciones como China o Italia, podemos observar la efectividad de lo que han hecho estos países. Bloquear a una nación entera y restringir el movimiento parece haber disminuido las tasas de infección. Se cree que China como país ha pasado lo peor de la crisis. Italia se acerca a la peor experiencia de la crisis: el número total de personas infectadas que mueren a causa de la enfermedad alcanza su punto máximo diario / semanal. El resto del mundo está a 2-3 semanas por detrás de Italia.

Rat-a-tat-tat
Si tuviéramos que contraer el virus, pasaríamos a las cajas de conocidos y desconocidos. Sabríamos que potencialmente podríamos sentirnos mal o estar seriamente enfermos. Es el grado de malestar lo que no sabríamos. El “qué pasaría después” tampoco quedaría claro. La incertidumbre es el punto de preocupación para las naciones en este momento. La misma preocupación también se extiende a familias e individuos en el 28 de marzo de 2020 (fecha de redacción de este artículo). Es posible que la histeria pública, el pánico y la paranoia comiencen ahora a golpear fuertemente nuestra puerta de pensamientos racionales. Si abrimos esta puerta podríamos estar acosados por muchas muchas preocupaciones.

Eleccion
Si abrimos la puerta y aceptamos el estado de desconocimiento, ¿entonces qué? Si mantenemos la puerta cerrada y nos quedamos con lo que sabemos sobre el virus, ¿sería esto mejor tanto a corto como a largo plazo?
Aquí hay dos resultados dentro de muchas otras posibilidades que podrían reducir la histeria, el pánico y la paranoia. Podríamos aprender a aceptar lo que es o negar lo que es.

El lago Matheson

Lo desconocido?
Gestionar aquello que se puede controlar es pasar a la primera caja de conocimientos conocidos (lo que sabemos que sabemos). En la cual nos sentimos cómodos y tenemos una confianza inherente en un futuro determinado. Habitar las cajas segunda, tercera y cuarta es inquietante, aterrador e invita a ideas desestabilizadoras. Estas son las cajas de lo que sabemos que desconocemos, lo que desconocemos que sabemos y lo que desconocemos que desconocemos.

Todo mejor Ahora
Buscar información en este momento puede verse como un movimiento inteligente, sin embargo, hay una avalancha de información confusa y conflictiva en este momento.

Pod Save the World comparte un nuevo podcast que proporciona una actualización quincenal sobre el Coronavirus.

Si puede, reduzca la ansiedad, reduzca el uso de las redes sociales, aíslese, distánciese socialmente cuando este fuera, coma saludablemente, mantenga la ingesta de líquidos y trate de mantener conexiones virtuales positivas con amigos y familiares.

Una cosa que es conocida, es que esta experiencia de la guerra pasará. Nuestro mundo cambiará. Debe de hacerlo. Vivir a partir de entonces, en un mundo cambiado, es el resultado del gato de Schrödinger: yacer en la última caja de lo que desconocemos que desconocemos: emocionante y sin embargo aterrador.

Abre la caja!

Recursos
Brené Brown Podcast FFT’s
Bill Gates – WWIII
Podsave The World Coronavirus Reality
Marios’ Video fwd
Netflix Pandemic
This Day in Esoteric Political History from 99% Invisible – We Have Been Here Before

Imagen
Lake Matheson Photo by Jingwei Ke on Unsplash

With thanks to my friend CV-A for the support in translating this text!

The 3rd World War a Theory: Coronavirus

It is possible that we as a world are facing the largest global threat to our ongoing human survival since the 1918 flu epidemic and WWII. COVID19 has been termed a pandemic, an unprecedented global emergency, and a war.

The threat is a protein that once it invades/infects its host, reproduces and causes illness and worryingly death. It is the death part which is indiscriminate and strikes down neighbourhood’s and nation states. I am reminded of documentary’s on WWII and buildings being blown apart and communities destroyed. We all have been unwillingly called up to fight, NOW.

Warning: this is a dive into a few associative ideas I have to support and manage the current crisis. The aim is to provide useful ideas and a brief overview of some media I have consumed that help me position this existential threat.

Cat Theory
A theory of Schrödinger’s cat I shared with a client to support their accepting and reconstructing their ideas of the unknown that is the COVID19 strain of the flu currently turning the world on it’s head. Loosely I presented the theory of a dead/not dead cat in a box as a way to help assimilate a challenging awareness of the pandemic that is COVID19.

The virus reminds me of a fungus (David Attenborough presents entomopathogenic fungi) that affects insects. Over a period of days these insects become cadavers that help spread the fungi’s spores to other unsuspecting insects to create other fungi. Nature is ridiculously clever. In a similar way, an invisible assailant is causing all that we hold in our world experience as important and precious, being torn down and irreparably altered.

Schrödinger’s Theory
And so to the Theory of Schrödinger’s cat. The theory is that we imagine a domestic house cat. The tabby is placed into a box with a radioactive isotope. I should say that, at no point was this experiment ever carried out. This is a thought experiment, inviting our human minds to hold two opposing ideas at the same time. Like in quantum theory where light is made up of particles and acts as a wave at the same time. The radioactive isotope is wired with a timer that releases the poison at a specific but unknown time.

Unknown Paradox
The question to be answered is, is the cat dead or alive? For a scientist or an inquisitive person like my client, questions are posed about the amount of radioactive isotope and the resilience of the cat? Other questions could also include whether the cat had food or water to sustain itself and how long the cat is in the box for? 24 hours is the length of time I gave as my answer. I think for the thought experiment the answer was an hour and yes there was enough food and water to sustain the cat for 24 hours in my example.

Both
Now to answer the question and bring this level of questioning full circle. Point the question at the deadly virus that is irrevocably changing the world. Because we cannot determine the effectiveness of the radioactive isotope. Nor the resilience of the cat. The answer to the question about the wellbeing of the cat, is, that the cat is both dead and alive. Simultaneously. It is neither dead nor is it alive. We would have to open the box and see for ourselves. Up until that moment we are to hold both ideas as probable correct answers.

Is it quantum theory?
I went a little further with the example of Schrödinger’s Cat and COVID19 with my client. Globally we are in the boxes of Known Unknown’s and the box of Unknown Knowns simultaneously.

The threat for all of us is the factor of not knowing. Can we know what will happen along the continuum of getting the virus or evading the virus and not becoming unwell? No we cannot. Looking at the examples of nation states like China or Italy, we can observe the effectiveness of what these countries have done. Locking down an entire nation and restricting movement appears to have slowed the infection rates. China as a country is believed to be beyond the worst of the crisis. Italy is approaching the worst experience of the crisis: total numbers of people who were infected dieing from the illness reaching it’s daily/weekly peak. The rest of the world are 2-3 weeks behind Italy..

Rat-a-tat-tat
If we were to contract the virus we would move into the known and unknown boxes. We would know that we could potentially become unwell or seriously unwell. It is the extent of the unwellness that we would not know. The ‘what would happen next’ would also remain unclear. Uncertainty is the point of concern for nation states at the moment. The same concern also extends to families and individuals as of 28th Mar 2020 (date of writing this piece). It is possible that public hysteria, panic and paranoia begin knocking heavily on our rational thoughts door now. If we open this door we could be beset by many many concerns.

Choice
If we open the door and accept the state of unknowing, what then? If we keep the door shut and stay with what we know about the virus, would this for both the short and long term be better?

Here are 2 outcomes from many other possibilities that could cancel out panic hysteria and paranoia. We could learn to accept what is or deny what is.

Lake Matheson – The Unknown?

Managing what can be controlled is moving into the 1st box of known knowns. Which feels comfortable and we are inherently confident with a certain future.

Inhabiting the 2nd 3rd and 4th boxes are unsettling, scary and invite destabilising ideas. These are the boxes of the Known Unknowns, Unknown Knowns and Unknown Unknowns.

All Better Now
Seeking information at this time can be seen as a wise move however there is an avalanche of confusing and conflicting information at this time. Pod Save the World share a new podcast that provides a bi weekly update on the Coronavirus.

If you can, reduce anxiety, reduce social media use, isolate, socially distance yourself when out, eat healthily, keep fluid intake up and aim at maintaining positive virtual connections with friends and family. One thing that is a known known, this experience of War will pass. Our world will change. It has to. Living from then on, in a changed world is a Schrödinger’s cat outcome: lying in the last box of the Unknown Unnowns – Exciting and yet Scary.

Open The Box!

Resources
Brené Brown Podcast FFT’s
Bill Gates – WWIII
Podsave The World Coronavirus Reality
Marios’ Video fwd
Netflix Pandemic
This Day in Esoteric Political History from 99% Invisible – We Have Been Here Before

Images
Title Photo by David East on Unsplash
Lake Matheson Photo by Jingwei Ke on Unsplash