Something Other: Peering in

Following last weeks post, that observed experiences of being othered, ostracised and shamed, attending a cultural phenomenon a nativity play. I continue this blog series observing a *recentish example of being the other remaining mute, and finding safe side bar.

Charitable Work
A few years ago, I worked for a charity where the strange experience was of being othered and held outside of. It is not because of what some staff said specifically. Most are aware that saying racist, sexist, homophobic things at work will lead to reprimands or dismissal. Racial abuse was not metered to me as a member of staff but was in the acts that had me do double takes. Questionable acts were observed discussing cases involving marginalised communities that either worked for the charity or were supported by staff.

Tops
The feeling was of not being seen, listened to, wanted, being valued and insights shared – not appreciated. As I progressed from new employee, to my first, second, third and final year with the organisation, I started to notice the holes. I shared my understandings and points for growth change and development with managers and was either ignored or the ideas petered out to nothing. The organisation whilst heavily committed to engaging in change with those worked with, was less invested in making changes amongst itself for increased employee satisfaction. Handing to a manager Brené Brown’s 10 point manifesto for improved employee satisfaction was an example of mine, to shift an experience towards health. See Below from Brené Brown’s ‘Daring Greatly’. A sense grew in me that for as long as I worked within the charity even if I made it through the glass ceiling, I would be furthermore cutting myself crawling around on the broken glass to potentially make improvements.

Square Peg
Me being seen as the other, were based on a few factors: my training, age, race and the way I saw and interacted with the world was different to most of the colleagues I worked with. I saw my difference as a strength. Others may have seen my position, as a former prison counsellor, problematic. I did not fit. They psychologists, me an integrative counsellor. My support of probation services in London was quietly daring. Sharing insights with probation officers of the psychological lives of their service users. The feeling of familiarity to the experience service users had whilst working with psychologically trained staff did not escape me. The awkwardness, the implied superiority, the speaking over and talking down to, often present. The awareness could not be brushed off, packed or folded away. An interpretation I have of the experience is that within the charity I was looked on as criminal, outside I was hero? The binary can cause ruptures in thinking. I could code switch and was okay chopping it up with service users and probation staff alike. ‘Power amongst and power to’ helped build rapport to perform my practitioners role well.

Mirroring
I often sat across from people who looked like me in probation services. A feeling as if a fellow returnee from behind the wall, often present. My crime – working whilst Black amongst a charity that chose to look the other way. Focusing on delivery, winning new sustainable and long reaching contracts, rather than it’s culture and treatment of staff. The charity was long in service and yet poor in dynamic development. Tied possibly to governmental funding cycles and predicting positive outcomes to grant applications. Other Black staff working for the charity either left their work contracts early (sometimes within weeks) or found ways to make their set of circumstances work for them. I spent over 3 years thinking I could change culture, by kindness and cakes. Small acts could, I believed fell the juggernaut of racial oppression and the sense of othering I frequently found myself battling amongst, questioning lofty ideals.

Singular
Whilst amongst a staff team, I felt some responsibility to influencing the culture. I was not alone in wanting to positively affect things but when seen as an outsider, one often cannot change what occurs in the building shouting from the pavement across the street. I read Daring Greatly in September 2015 and thought there were a number of insights shared in the book that really brought in to sharp awareness what the charity could do. I enjoyed the chapter ‘Mind the Gap’ that looked at organisational culture determining specific changes that improve experiences for all. Brené Brown lists questions that could potentially push an organisation to be aware of the unease had in areas relating to; errors, vulnerability, (**pain) shame and blame. Brené concludes observing what an actively responsible culturally aware organisation, does to support a staff team and their work. Invite communication! It is a shame that the charity I worked at, was criminally motivated to bring change only on their own terms.

The Count
I once mentioned the concern the charity may have had like this to 2 other Black members of staff.
1 is a manageable concern,
2 a problem,
3 a gang,
4 looks like an unmanageable riot
5 or more – a hostile takeover and at worse a mutiny.


My comments were made amongst a huddled meeting during a comfort break, outside on a cold, grey mid morn. The informed colleagues observed a perceived sense of paranoia from others when we rejoined the main group. I wanted to mark the occasion as important for the rarity of being seen together and seeing ourselves in a fleeting moment of solidarity – happy. When asked what were you lot talking about? Attempting to snatch the moment away. We knowingly smiled and said “Nothing that should bother you, much.” The suspicion confirming the hypothesis. We were trouble for a number of unobvious reasons. This moment sowed an important seed for me.

Street View
Being an outsider, I am often first to notice the roof smoking and catching fire. The possible routes to safety and what improvements can be made to support all who work in the building mitigate against future disaster! I am also on hand for the rescue teams when they arrive, accounting for all staff leaving the building and who may remain inside still and where they might be. We may have heard the saying ‘Prevention is better than cure’. An example could be of internally questioning what has some team members not be vocal or even in the room when choices, plans and change decisions are being made? The uneasy hard to reach one is often that which provides the most insightful answers and ways forward.

Cycle
Within a circle, each point lies equi-distant from the centre. Being amongst can feel both precious and magical. When I think of community settings, I bring to mind gatherings that enable a circle to form. Within a circle, hierarchy and importance are difficult to assume. We are all at a point equal to the other. Recognising the importance of the whole together represents one truth. The sum total of the various parts and individuals is another. One is no more relevant or important than the other. To be discounted harms the whole, which is the point I attempted to arrive at in the White Supremacy series. Whilst silenced and left to remain outside of, the remaining whole cannot be as powerful or as life altering in relation to human development of all our experiences on the planet.

Can it?

Resources
I have wanted to use this particular episode of Resistance since I listened to it earlier this year. The fit for me is, listening to Jermaine Guinyard walking a difficult path in Nebraska with his family. We listen to a story of being willfully excluded by a community and the pain that follows. We also hear how Coach G over time turns an impossible tide.

Resistance Podcast Coach G

Images
Earth photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

**I added to the list because pain rhymes and offers a sense of direction.

Something Other

A distant memory has been unearthed. As thoughts often do – tugging on a few more to join their masquerade ball. These series of writings are in support of another.

A form of racial attack in the form of exclusion is often not documented, fear of further reprisal or silencing disbelief – can stall efforts seeking justice. I will aim to draw out both the strangeness of experiences like these, and also the self questioning that arises in the pieces that are to follow.

Mockingbird
Dr Dwight Turner’s Intersections of Privilege and Otherness in Counselling and Psychotherapy, summarise in a myriad of ways what it means for Black, Asian and members from Global South communities to live in former colonisers countries. Dr Turner pays attention to what his experience was to be trained in counselling and psychotherapy. Mockingbird does well to observe: Feminism, what members from the LGTBQi+ communities continue to contribute to the lexicon of intersectionality, the poor and working class, as well as embodied experiences of the disabled, a community since 2011 I count myself among. Assimilation into community and acceptance is granted partially at significant personal cost. A loss of identity, culture, sense of community, language, a knowing of oneself is summarily deposited outside the exclusionary zone of becoming a therapist and adjusting to living amongst…

Past It
Dr Turner also shares his disquiet of being a lecturer and accosted by a student. You may have seen images of #thisiswhatapsychotherapistlookslike after an encounter where he met *affrontery. My fantasy is of a White woman stating “But you don’t look like a psychotherapist, you look more like a bouncer!” The caring profession is littered with redundant opinionated professionals with outdated views that belong in centuries past.

Altered
The first remembering of difference that has floated up for me, is a primary school excursion. I cannot remember if it was a class trip, or a venture to reward an achievement for friends of mine and I. We had gone to see a play at a theatre in London. As children, we may have found some thrill being away from school, but may have found the play of little interest. The play was either a nativity or a pantomime. A cultural experience I had little knowledge of, or interest in. After watching for 20 minutes we (my friends and I) found fun elsewhere. What I vaguely remember is being told off. Reprimanded for throwing wet balls of tissue paper at ceilings and at friends. Playground behaviour at a reputable establishment. A teacher growing redder and angrier at each of us, saying words that were meant to hurt and shame. They did! I can remember leaving the bathroom, head bowed, with a heavy heart. Something of significance had transpired, an element of innocence removed or dented.

Mushy
I also remember some of the boys being resolute that they were going to tell their parents. Which they did. I can remember 2 parents attending a meeting with the school a week later. Not mine. I carried my shame without disclosing. Fear of further punishment and their disbelief stopped me. What fails to be recalled are the exact events, the teachers words, what nativity play we saw, what theatre and what reason I had of not being aware enough of the hurt she had caused my friends and supposedly – me. Something other may have been said, decrying of our inner city, poor, council estate dwelling, or lack of appreciating a cultured artistic performance. Her anger, disappointment and confused rage – causing us all to register with shock that the teacher only saw our demise. We, supposedly trapped eternally to live our lives on the housing estate. A heady and unworthy blow, delivered for simply not enjoying a play. We, making a wet paper towel mess of a theatre bathroom and being held as criminally deviant as a result. She may have used strong and shaming words. Adding further to her sense of the wrongdoing and branding us *whip-handedly. Instituting my first experience of the ‘them and us’ polemic idea.

Culture
The idea of who was acculturating whom is what I am now left fathoming. Perceived difference does little to engender a feeling of shared interest, warmth, curiosity or journeying to discovery. We witness as citizens on our planet, an increase of ideas towards separation, division and increased animosity against the other. Displacing a growing state of anxiety. Answers lie in what Dr Kelly suggest below…

Resources
The below link is to the excellent podcast by Ibram X Kendi who interviews the university professor Dr. Robin D.G. Kelley about misguided notions of superiority and capital interest. The link to the writing above is the perception of which ideas of betterment are seen as valid and overvalued and what ideas are vanquished as valueless.
Ibram X Kendi Be Anti Racist podcast Capitalism

Image
Blue Orange photo by davisuko on Unsplash

Nomadland: A Review

This Blog is a review of the above named movie. There is a piece of writing that I am currently struggling to thoroughly unravel and find the blog’s tap root. I offer the review of Nomadland as a way to break ground. The aim, find a way to engage with an idea that adds to the psychological plethora I have been toiling with for the past few weeks. I say this as much to myself as I do to you, I will get there!

Dawn Dance
I was not enthused to watch Nomadland. Asked by my brother-in-law KW to attend a weekend afternoon’s showing at The Westdale a small independent Cinema in Hamilton, Ontario. I held misgivings about what I was invited to see. I felt confused as I watched Fern (Frances McDormand) travel North America in her van. We join her, at the start of the film, in a packing plant for Amazon. Fern’s life does not resemble mine in many ways. Single, White, no dependents, a retiree, a home on the road, no family or discernible sense of belonging. Fern dances a line. Watching her ‘slow shoe shuffle’ is what begins to draw me in.

Slow Ride
I spent a few moments discussing the movie with my friend Anne Willoughby. Who helped me fashion a few of my thoughts that this piece of writing springs from. The movie feels like a meditation on modern living. Asking questions about the pasts we have forgotten or sailed past. Chasing after the next big shiny offering. Pretending to give us chance to step outside of the speed of time passing so quickly. I often take a look around me whilst watching a movie. To note art’s impact on others. Fern’s demographic looked on, unaware of my watching of them, watching her.

Sense From This
Nomadland is beautifully shot. The sense of space, peace, human loss, tragedy and connection are all minced together within an unfamiliar story arc. The movie invites us to imagine a life on the road. What would it be like meeting people in chance encounters and wondering about them and about ourselves. The sparseness of Fern’s experience with the landscape, appears cold, beyond touch, are somehow vaguely familiar. A reminder of the distance we also have traversed with the pandemic. Just like us, Fern is not finding a happy median in which to settle down inside of and curl up and go to sleep. No, life is much more complex and rich when shaken as hers has been. As ours continually are being. When I think about Nomadland a little more, I relate to a life outside of the ordinary. The movie does not offer us a resolve of the wanderlust or the need to settle and peer bond. There is only the vastness of space, a pressing need to experience life and make some sense out of existence.

Nearly
What Anne helped me realise is that we are all in many ways struggling with self concepts given to us from family, life scripts that we discern are either worth having or spilling away from, and societal ideas of how we ought to behave. With Fern, she has found a way to live her own life, in as honest and as complex a way as she finds fitting. One moment of the film shreds my understanding. The unquestioning of what I have held up as a life goal. That of settling. Finding a place, a person, an experience that one calls mine, ours and is home. Fern veers near experiences that could have been capable of containing, constraining or holding her. Her Sister, the friend, her old home with the distant hills. Yet all were of naught compared to the unknown of the open road and the next experience.

Mountainous

Fluid
If we could remain continually aware or open to the experience of the unknown, being unstuck, unsettled, often with a beginners outlook on life, forgetful of life’s bitterness and disappointments, we would have the potential to be as flexible, as released as Fern. The sense of freedom could be fear provoking. Stalling many from peering over the horizon to what is to happen in the beyond. Fern was willing to make what she could out of her experience of life on the road. Jack Kerouac’s On The Road and The Famished Road by Ben Okri, offer a loose frame for me to unpack Fern’s opening up to the encounters a Nomadic life bring.

Memories
I appreciate the movie’s sparseness. The harsh reality of not knowing what tomorrow may deliver, the random encounters the land showers her with, and the friends and acquaintances that are hewn from the occasional meetings and separations travel can present a lone nomad with. I initially thought the movie was going to be a total waste of time. I am glad that my initial ideas were thoroughly uprooted and tossed! I sat engaged with a simple premise yet challenging perspective to fully appreciate. Nothing is pre-determined. We are all making it up as we go along and very little can be controlled. Nomadland will be a film that stays lodged in my memory as a gentle reminder of firsts – A courageous move to Canada during a Pandemic by my family and I, connecting with a vibrant community of Black Mental Health practitioners in Ontario, Canada, experiencing snow fall, like I was lost in the mountains. To be experienced next for us is, a North American Halloween, Winter, Thanks Giving, and New Years.

An Open Road: Fall

Everywhere
The last line of the movie the one that haunts me still, is an interpretation of Maya Angelou’s famous quote ‘If you are from no where you belong everywhere’. It is the truth, the honesty and the realness of the quote, Maya’s wisdom, Fern’s onwards journey and the road we are all now on. With ever present threats of new world crises. All that we are, ultimately, are our experiences…

Resources
Jason Wilson speaks at length with Joe Rogan on his podcast about growing up. Learning how to be a man who is able to express and talk about his feelings and not cower from them no matter how frightening or terrific they may be. Jason talks about his new book Battle Cry and the journey within, we all could take.
The Trailer for Nomadland offers a brief window into Fern’s simple and yet complicated life.
Sharing Brené Brown’s interviews with her guests is a wonderful interpretive experience for me. Both Dare to Lead and Unlocking Us provide chance to listen to leaders who engage in thought that shapes and change worlds. Amy Cuddy coined the phrase Pandemic Flux Syndrome which I feel fits with some of what Nomadland explodes.
I read Ryan Holiday’s ‘The Obstacle Is The Way’ a few years ago. I was facing an ongoing set of challenges both professionally and personally. Listening to Tim Ferris go in deep with Ryan on his podcast, I picked up on the strongly suggested idea that I read his work on living stoically. The Book has helped to make meaning from misadventure.
Joe Rogan Experience with Jason Wilson Battle Cry
Nomadland Trailer
Brené Brown with Amy Cuddy on Dare to Lead Podcast
Ryan Holiday 4000 mile Road Trip

Images
Cover photo City by Night by Abdullah Konte on Unsplash
Open Road photo by Marcelo Quinan on Unsplash
Road and Mountains photo by Mark Basarab on Unsplash
Fall leaves photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

Narcissus Is Us

Call To Act
I am going to ask that before you read the below, pause, go for a walk, make a beverage and do something that is you centred. My sister Edwina Hawkridge advised once she gleaned what the blog was to interrupt. Whether that pause is taking a nap, meditating for a few minutes, reflecting over something recently heard, tapping out a rhythm, sketching something, scribbling, or just staring out the window. What follows below attacks the very thing we are communicating on right now. So leave. This piece will remain, and you can laugh at it’s offering whence you return.

Suprise
The pursuit of happiness has many of us duped. Caught inside an ever decreasing trap of our own making. A few years ago I wrote extensively about Narcissus. He who fell madly in love with his own reflection. His admiration of himself causing his eventual death by the river Styx.

Reflection Can be Golden

Addict
Some of us look at our computers/laptops/tablets or phones infrequently? Some of us believe that we casually gaze upon mobile devices once every half an hour to every couple of hours. The truth, we regard devices as many times as 10 – 40 times in an hour. That’s as often as once every 1.5 minutes in an hour. If we were to ask ourselves, if like Narcissus we have fallen in love with our own image? We would possibly answer with a resounding – NO! However the attraction to longingly, lovingly, looking at our internet savvy tech has me questioning. Are we doomed like Narcissus?

Brain on Notice
For a few years I have attempted to keep a regular meditation practice. There are a few reasons. Firstly, for overall brain health. Another consideration for me is to maintain a consistent level of focus. Our world now, demand’s a renewed level of awareness. At the top of my priority for improved concentration include; Raising emotionally literate children, my work with counselling or coaching clients, listening to podcasts or radio programs, reading bathing in the knowledge of others and enjoying insights. The benefits of focusing would be positive outcomes relating to meditation practice.

Infuriation
The constant challenge is the mind drifts. This is experienced at an exaggerated degree when I am sat in repose meditating. It is like my mind finds ways to literally run away with itself on the most errant of ideas worries and imaginings. Last nights meal, conversations to be had, arguments lost, items found, children to picked up or dropped off, client considerations, relationship concerns, family, health (relating to MS and aging) fitness, financial worries, ongoing world crisis (Climate, War, Water, Energy), elections, study, travel and the list continues. All of the above thoughts and considerations flood in when a moment is created for internal reflection. It is like brains wired for activity, our minds attached to them are unable to fully let go of the high functioning operant level. Problem solving, solution focused finding is a goal to be reached. To down gear into an experience of relaxing calm seems like an impossibility.

Eye Glasses
Perhaps we should be happy for Narcissus? He found the subject of his desire, and was content enough to waste away with his beloved by a river and die. Knowing the story from a position of the outsider looking upon Narcissus’ folly we notice his short-sightedness. His inability to find anything other than his own image reflected back at him. A totality of all that was beautiful, beguiling, attractive and yet ultimately unobtainable. Zeus presented Narcissus with a cruel curse then. A tale of woe for all who cannot hear or see the message therein.

Enchanted
Like Narcissus what our devices are able to do, is show us our interests in ever more increasingly captivating presentations. Whether the service is delivered by Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, the appeal is to be amongst, playing, adapting, creating, uploading and engaging with an audience that reflects an individual back unto themselves. Devices offer an echo chamber, a self-fulfilling feedback loop. Being away from the ‘mirror’ then invites fear, revulsion, envy, jealousy, self pride, pity, fleeting experiences of happiness and momentary collections of learning. I have been with all of these emotions and thoughts throughout my time creating a virtual footprint. The feelings that are legion, arise either through producing content or accessing information. Being away from the device and the virtual world has many experience the idea of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Not being online at the right time and place all the time. I imagine the virtual footprint anxiety steals something from us.

Like Narcissus – Really?

Handling Fire
At a new years party 2019 -2020, when the crisis that is the global pandemic was nascent, I shared an idea about mobile phones. I said to another party goer ‘It is like the mobile phone has replaced the fire we all used to share our stories, whilst sitting around its warmth. The phone is our camera, telecommunication device, and connects us to the world in a way that fire did and could not.’ In the days before we would throw our imagination against the fire. Fire would help us see and describe what we saw amongst our group. These imaginings could then be made manifest. Manifestations of our imaginations happened at first with interpreters, then scribes and with paper, then books, then radio, cinema then TV we have moved from the communal and shared experience to the insular and the individual.

Heat
What has been replaced by a communal warmth and sharing is a blue cooler light. There are uncountable gains for those who value and learn as individuals to absorb information in an singular way. The loss for me, is being aware of how learning by self is passed on? As a global community with a small handful of members holding knowledge for themselves, how can we all grow and learn similarly? Is there a need for Ubuntu? The idea of the Zero-Sum game is made manifest here. Could individual isolated learning be an example of flaws in a solo learning monoculture, potentially leading some towards fundamentalism and radicalization over and above collective reasoning, reflection, awareness of self, group, community and growth?

Urbanized Reflection

Minimise
With self interest held at a premium does the web of interconnectedness fail with a system that has a few sclera’s enmeshed amongst it’s organisation? I am taken to my own faltering nervous system, the scourge that is MS. Within a weakened system like the nervous system of a person with an auto-immune disease like Multiple Sclerosis, electrical messages are not passed easily along damaged nerves. The message either arrives late, in a delayed or garbled fashion or not at all. With relapsing remitting MS (RnR) a relapse can be caused by heat, stress, tiredness and by the over defensive mechanism of the body’s immune system confusing food particles as harmful pathogens that should be attacked and destroyed. Thereby damaging formerly healthy cells and creating scars and lesions along nerves.

Corrupted
I am also mindful of Cypher in the Matrix, who as a component attacks and betrays the system the rebels have asserted. As a node Cypher attempts to corrupt all – for his own gain. If a web like the human nervous system, the microorganisms of the soil and the systems that support plant life, can and often do find alternative paths to carry information, then the organism can survive and often finds ways to do so well. With the invention of mobile technology our ability to function well, beyond a virtual world appears hampered, affected – infected.

Juggernaut
Attention spans have been decreasing ever since the Information Age became the mental onslaught it now is! Our minds have become a much sought-after real estate upon which a number of material battles are fought for. Those who win get to earn our first 2nd and 3rd purchasing choices. They earn our belief and own our loyalties. Any other choice is seen as untrustworthy, valueless, having inferior quality and simply does not hold our interest. Reading a long read like Whiteness on The Couch by Natasha Stovall or a book that challenges long held ideas about the world in which we live such as The Origin of Consciousness in The Breakdown of the Bicameral mind by Julian Jaynes, or True Believer by Eric Hoffer helps to improve focus and builds a newer understanding of what we all experience and offered chance to re-evaluate. Even a blog as lengthy, wordy, wan and as wildly speculative as my blogs tend to be, can grow attention spans and generate a nonlinear perspective that could be useful in topics of discussion at personal or professional settings. Make what is read, listened to or watched personally meaningful. Even if the subject material is used as a catalyst to spark ridicule or laughter for a moment allow self to be altered.

Intelligent Light Trappings

Options
What we tend to gain when we step away from the banal, simple, pre-digested material often fed through news and media outlets, snap chat feeds, Instagram lives, TikTok videos, Youtube viral finds, Facebook campaigns, twitter links, LinkedIn broadcasts, can be a step closer to genuine rich honest communicative ideas that challenge and create space for new thoughts and ideas to emerge. The intention behind writing this piece was ultimately for the reader – you; to answer a simple question. If you realise that you, like Narcissus, are soon to bring about your own end through mindless neglect what steps do you take?

Resources
An inspired evening of conversation, food and drink, with friends and new acquaintances can provoke discussion that offer chance to catch new ideas. If the pandemic has robbed us of anything it is the freedom to meet, and have chance to come together and talk, share ideas and laugh at the folly of our lives. I thank Dave, his wife Emily and family for hosting a truly entertaining evening that birthed the idea of the fire in our hands – mobiles.
I have shared in previous Blogs Natasha Stovall’s article of Whiteness on the Couch. The article is a prime example of a sustained effort arriving at difficult conclusions. Whiteness on the Couch is a long read. My advice take time to absorb the information shared.
The Origin of Consciousness sounded like a great book to spend time with. My niece Portia suggested I read it if I wanted to gain understanding of what we perceive as psychology. The book has helped me appreciate the complicated awareness we have understanding our minds.
The link to Cypher is in essence prophetic in relation to how he attempts to swing events in the 1999 movie The Matrix, to his favour.
After Skool offers a wonderful philosophical and practical understanding of what we are experiencing being a sentient being on the planet now. I was attracted by the title ‘MASS PSYCHOSIS – How an Entire Population Becomes MENTALLY ILL’. I believe the authors of this beautifully drawn argument offer a useful and updated understanding of Eric Hoffer’s True Believer.
Elite Content Marketer brings the article Screen Time Stats as a useful observation of our human trend in relation to the other screen we used to spend hours watching – TV. I also enjoyed reading about the impact of picking up our phones. We become enthralled with what we have seen. Narcissus whisperings.
The Social Dilemma Netflix documentary was a perfect film to highlight the challenge facing humanity at the height of the Pandemic. I found the documentary useful to hear from those involved with the information age industry, state clearly, if a service is free YOU ARE THE PRODUCT being exploited, used and largely manipulated.
The True Believer YouTube video is an insightful look at Eric Hoffer’s book. Academy of Ideas shares understanding of what the book discusses. I offer True Believer as a counter argument to A Killing of the Mind video. Mass movements come and go, we determine their impact.
A Killing of the Mind After Skool
Screen Time Stats Elite Content Marketer
The Social Dilemma Netflix
True Believer Academy of Ideas

To answer the question above, as an Artist my medium du jour is writing. It is my small act of creating, imagining and bringing to light from another place ideas that engender hope, resilience, humor and balance. These ideas are what keep me up at night and get me up in the morning. If writing can open doors that lead to corridors of wonder – the attempt – tether lightening to my leaden ideas…

Images
Cover photo Glee by Glen Anthony on Unsplash
1st photo Inlay Golden Tree image by Faye Cornish on Unsplash
2nd photo Train Viewing by Rasheed Kemy on Unsplash
3rd photo White Shoes by Redd on Unsplash
4th Mirrored Man photo by Imani Bahati on Unsplash

Ubuntu, Recovery – White Supremacy

My Summer season of writing has definitely taken a bent towards topics that involve racism writ large. In this post I am looking to establish ways forward, beyond White supremacy. The system corrupt and broken is to be erased, like a Buddhist Monk’s manadala, in the rivers of time and re-written. For me this onward journey is about revolution. Those who identify with a Frail, Pale, Male, Stale (F.P.M.S.) aesthetic and outlook on life are to be discarded like the idea of the baby and the bath water. The infant, the tub and the water we are all swimming in is diseased, poisoned and grows corrupt crop.

Light in Illness
Another way of living – benefitting all – makes sense to begin insisting on. I have had these ideas since I was about 4 years old. Sick with a bad cold having an out of body experience, where I felt like I was experiencing what those who take the mushroom Hiawatha report. A sense of overwhelming love, compassion and connectedness with all. Taking time away from the machinery of work can support learning in a way that grows awareness. I have spent the last month, August, unwinding, watching a wide variety of TV shows and movies, as well as reading and listening to podcasts. The most recent book ‘Work Won’t Love You Back’ by Sarah Jaffe that I will attempt to summarise in a following blog, has stretched my appreciation of the month spent taking time back.

Light Mandala

Capitalism kills
If the organisation of work is ultimately a largely European concept. A system turning humans into labor devices. Transforming raw materials into something profitable, for other human’s consumption and monetary wealth. Can we then, identify the paucity and fallibility of both work and capitalism overall? It will take for all, to dismantle the current appeal of getting (buying) more, working more, earning less and feeling bad about how little we possess. Other’s  (F.P.M.S.) largely benefit from those at the lower tiers of the system. Tirelessly working at pulling from the hearth both product and illness. The whole system completely depends on those at the very bottom of the pyramid to support the shaky construct.

Strangled
Ingenuity, time, creativity and sensitivity are mangled lost and drained from the human who is tethered to the machine of work. What are the alternatives? We need to work to pay the bills, the mortgage, clothe and feed the children and the family, to make peace, or take our piece from life. How can much be enjoyed whilst one hand is in the noose tied to the unequal system and the other tied to hypocrisy lies and corruption? For how much longer can the system continue to rip the essence of life from bodies that are on the planet for so much more?

Mis-direct
I ended last weeks post by inviting critical thinking. By becoming analytical of all we experience and are investing time with, we can start to imagine and build something different. One of the films I have enjoyed watching that then linked to a few other Netflix documentaries was the Biggest Little Farm, Kiss the Ground and Fantastic Fungi. The book The Hidden Life of Trees (still to be read!) shows how symbiotic, integrated natural systems all support the living organism to function. What has caused humanity to lose sight of our role of our interconnectedness and stewardship of the resources our planet has? Did seeking financial gain, interrupt our curiosity playfulness and wonder? Did capital gains limit our human potential and wanderlust. Some who are (F.P.M.S.) appear to know how to control and manipulate the masses with ever increasing ideas of potential risk, loss, and death. Queue: War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death.

Ride Side Saddle
The alternative to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse could be Emotional Intelligence: Critical Thinking, Emotional Awareness, Compassion focused teaching and learning. To move beyond a persecutor, victim rescuer triangle. We can live at the space of the observer. From a position of remaining compassionately aware, choices to behave differently whilst living can be applied. Outcomes could include benefitting the planet and each other with kindness first, as opposed to judgement.

Supportive Sources
‘Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti has a number of parallels with the African ethic of Ubuntu. Published in October 2020, the encyclical has drawn attention to the social consciousness on solidarity between different members of society based on social-interdependence. The African concept of Ubuntu largely refers to inter-connectedness within humanity and between its members, and asserts that “my humanity finds its fundamental definition through your humanity.”

This definition of Ubuntu is founded on three fundamental values. First, that humanity is essentially designed to co-exist in a cosmological friendship; second, that the core values of humanity cannot only be realized through the recognition of the intrinsic pristine nature of the other person’s humanity; third, that humanity is designed to safeguard and realize the common good that binds it together.

The cosmological friendship within the concept of Ubuntu puts emphasis on relationships and mutual co-existence. In other words, one’s humanity is only fulfilled through a relationship with other closely connected human beings, as well as with those who are remotely connected. This concept of relationship in a sense implies a cosmological friendship that grounds itself in a communal attitude working towards the development of the society. Source: article on ‘Fratelli Tutti’ and ‘Ubuntu’ on Cosmological Friendship in La Civiltà Cattolica’ subscribe@laciviltacattolica.com

Baton Pass
My father-in-law Dr G Warner sent the above to me, as a perfect illustration of Ubuntu. Humanity looking after the whole human community because overall we benefit from compassion kindness and sharing. We always have. We could still. As a human-doing we perhaps get snagged inside the doing part, rather than the being a part of a living planet. The 3 paragraphs above, (italicised) offer an understanding and a way to begin experiencing our planet Earth differently. The answers for ending White supremacy as Martin Luther King Jnr said ‘are along the long arc of time, that bends towards justice’. However we can begin speeding towards the bend by, willfully engaging, interrupting and destroying White supremacy’s hold over us. Moving from pure observation to questioning and persistent resilient activists. The journey ahead is not going to be easy. But I feel that challenging journeys are by their nature both life changing, life affirming and infinitely more interesting. The River Runner documentary on Netflix is testament to this idea, another of Summer’s offering.

Resources
Resmaa Manakem discusses below in detail, revolutionary thought and how to engage with healing and then appreciating cultural wealth. Kori Carew discusses a number of challenging and revolutionary ideas about Listening, Having Curiosity, Being Vulnerable, Engaging in Action as well as Belonging and becoming aware of community, lastly in Kori’s T.E.D. talk she understands and shares insights about Having Courage to do what is right even whilst this may disrupt everything. Tricia Hersey introduces a wonderful insight about the mechanism of capitalism and how to fight back and win. Baratunde Rafiq Thurston discusses ideas about deconstructing racism that involve breaking headlines into 4 components – Subject, Action, Target, Activity. He shares his reasons as to why his approach provides clarity. Lastly Brené Brown Interviews Dr. Susan David on the need for improvement of appreciation of language, interpretation of feelings and compassion. Ultimately the idea is about a community of humans that can use language to truly see, understand and hold self and others compassionately. Those who push at the limits of possibility and what seems impossible are the free radicals who invite others to imagine beyond the horizon. The Netflix documentary The River Runner captures this idea very well.
Resmaa with Charlemagne and Angela On the Breakfast Show.
Kori Carew Ted Talk
Tricia Hersey Rest and Care as Tools for Liberation
Baratunde Rafiq Thurston How To Deconstruct Racism
Brené Brown and Dr. Sarah David Dangers of Toxic Positivity

Images
Inspired by Mandalas
Cover photo Live Together by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
Lights photo by nibras al-riyami on Unsplash
Wall manadala photo by Fabio Santaniello Bruun on Unsplash
Mandala Sea photo by Jayshree Sharma on Unsplash

Zero-Sum of White Supremacy

Intrigue
The concept of games we are all either consciously, or are unwittingly playing, has stuck with me since I was introduced to Logo Therapy. This was the mid to late 90’s by a friend who worked with me at Seattle Coffee Company. After the Interior design degree at De Montfort University. Before I became a youth worker, Basketball Coach and then learning mentor and counsellor. Logo therapy was developed by Viktor Frankl who wrote the book ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’. Dr Viktor Frankl was sent from Vienna to concentration camps in Nazi occupied Germany. Dr Frankl, Jewish, developed his idea in relation to surviving the trauma of his enforced internment in a hopeless and indeterminate set of circumstances. Dr Frankl sought freedom of mind and not destruction of his discovered sense of self determined will. ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ as a book, collects his ideas about what he saw and felt whilst in a concentration camp. I gave my copy away to an incarcerated person in 2012. The individual’s set of circumstances appeared to mirror Dr Frankl’s. Imprisoned against their will, for crimes they were later acquitted from. They appeared to have draining levels of hope with justice being served, in relation to the crime they were accused of committing…

More Games
Other psychological concepts and games we are infernally playing was also informed by The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck, Games People Play by Eric Berne, The Lucifer Effect by Philip Zimbardo, and Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman. It remains a marvel to me that the ideas from the authors listed above are not common knowledge and made commonly available for the global many.

Balance
The knowledge that there are games we play came as a surprise as I began my counselling training in 2006. Understanding that game play is less about manipulation of others and more about having our human needs met. Arriving on the planet small, defenseless and knowing little about the world we have been born into, we are to learn from those who care for us. We are also to learn from the environment we live amongst. Both care givers and the environment lived in, teaches the infant how to make sense of what is experienced. Game Theory could be explained as a seemingly complex web of transactions and attachments we have to achieve a number of seemingly understandable goals. Game Theory is much more complex than my explanation. The theory is born of both economics and philosophy. Two schools of discipline that are of themselves a challenge to truly know as a lay philosopher.

Non-Comprend Pas
The understanding that I am making in using the vehicle of Zero-sum to White Supremacy, is that if White wins all of the games all of the time, then there is nothing left for any other cultural and racial group. The winner through ill begotten means has won all of the games that have ever been played or potentially ever will be played. Or so White Supremacy believes. What ‘White’ is to yet to understand in the multi layered, multi dimensional, time spanning game of chess being played is that ‘White’ has also lost. There is a desperation in holding on to the belief of the pearly White mountain tops of racial hierarchy.

I lose – You lose
The losses are uncountable. There is something blossoming for me here about the old ideas around The Enlightenment. Whose Enlightenment begot whose? Returning to the Zero-sum game of winner keeps all, what is not in the annals of discovery are the missed opportunities, the conversations, arguments and differences that were never had! These losses cannot be counted because they did not occur. Discoveries of equitable commerce, economical travel, growing bountiful regenerative crop that has little to no impact on eco systems, disease reduction or illness prevention, educating of the young and those who are in the work place, successful re-habilitation of forensic populations to the communities they have been shut away from, community policing for the betterment of all could not take place, amongst a trillion other ideas of people advancement and liberation. The persons these ideas may have sprung from were/are held in detention centres, concentration camps, internment camps, fleeing war, shot, poisoned, starved, grew impatient, turned to insurgency, conspiracy and interruption of localised and global systems of control and ultimately died. The fulfillment of their mission on earth and dreams that may have enhanced, supported and brought enrichment were not/have not been realised. No, White on the chess board of life has won a thin victory of almost limitless riches. But richness is not wealth. What White has lost is the wealth of remaining on the board with ghosts of fallen cultures and non-remembered peoples. Oppression and extermination of indigenous populations summarily robbed and erased wisdom globally. However, listening to pieces still on and off the board and their ideas about how to return the game to how it should be played – Infinitely. Could be the next human goal.

Game Theory
Game Theory Appears to be an Economical and Philosophical term applied to any number of different agents that behave in ‘normal’ or irregular ways to factors that determine predictive or unplanned outcomes. A fuller description of Game Theory is found here – Stanford Encylcopedia of Philosophy. My attempt above is to provide a summary of the information the link provides.

Infinity and Beyond
The infinite game as Simon Sinek discusses as found below, sounds like a game we all know and yet don’t recognise or fully understand – life as an infinite game. Simon offers a description of the infinite game as not winning or losing, but remaining and still playing even whilst other players drop out. The differences between Zero-sum and infinite, in game theory, Simon Sinek explains is the Zero sum game has a finite set of parameters. An outcome, a limited set of players and time in which the game is played. The infinite game is limitless inside which the parameters for the game are not set. With Infinite games there is an unknown set of players, playing a game with the main objective to continue playing the game. There are no known winners or losers.

Application
Within the Infinite game the objective is to continue playing. The aim is to enhance the game and propel players to improve continually. By introducing a winner takes all to a set of Infinite goals the game breaks-down and stops the flywheel nature of advancement as seen in Kiss The Ground – Netflix. In conflict it has been Afghanistan v the Soviet Union. Vietnam v America. Afghanistan v America. Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Paganism, Sikhism, Shintoism, Buddhism v spirituality, atheism, agnosticism. A finite system cannot out flank, outmanoeuvre, outpace an infinite one. A thought experiment would be if we were to build a structure as a monument to human ingenuity, power and understanding from a strong material like bronze or a hard wearing stone – like marble. How long would the edifice stand before the elements change it’s appearance or it’s position? A century? A millennia? With a game of winners and losers the winners earn a partial victory. The win is temporary. At an unknown moment a previous loser has the potential to become victorious. A perpetual cycle for balance and rebalance is instituted.

Cut Down
White supremacy has not won. White supremacy simply believes it has. The challenge is to move the statue of the fallen aside. In order that true progress can be had by all communities willing to move ahead beyond the lie that White supremacy has continually told. Discovering and figuring out what living life all means moves from the *stuckedness of judgement to curiosity, wonderment and awe. By playing an infinite game we enhance the self, the community and the planet. White supremacy has only scored the earth with a seemingly impermeable mark – Capitalism. There is a Native American saying that brings to mind the uselessness of the product of Zero-sum and capitalism ‘When the last tree has been cut down, the last fish caught, the last river poisoned, only then will we realize that one cannot eat money.’ I mis-remembered the quote as Only when we have poisoned the rivers lakes and seas, will we see we cannot eat money. The full quote is attached in the link. The person who brought wisdom to light spoke truth to power and highlights the short sightedness of Zero-sum.

Human Need
Money is a Zero-sum. Capitalism is an oppressive divisive system and is a Zero-sum game too. Having more of the substance does little to appease the disquiet of illness and dis-ease inherent in the human being. We simply move ourselves away from enjoyment and fulfillment beside others. A birthright. A human given. For most, a natural experience and a human need. There are also contra-indications for living amongst. Some prefer to live alone or in small communities or with 1 other. Nomadland the film is a useful extrapolation of a similar idea. Alongside and in communion with others, we find not only ourselves but also family and a sense of peace. White supremacy appears to not allow an idea or belief in systems as complex, as rich as unity to survive. The strength of people coming together, waking up from the nightmare of White supremacy is a fear that perpetuates the misdirection of self-interest, distraction and procrastination serving only a Zero-sum outcome.

Fight
To begin:
Accept nothing as a given.
Question all, continuously this means even the thoughts you may carry.
Invite critical thinking as a tool to discover unpack and make sense of self and the planet we inhabit.
Be curious often and play infinitely.

Resources
Game Theory explanation provided by Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Games and Rationality was instrumental in helping me summarise my understanding of game theory.
I thank Kimberly Cato for introducing the Akala video where he speaks about Injustice the film. As a result of being a team member of the summer series program of conversations for True Roots I made the link of Zero-sum and White supremacy.
Ibram X Kendi interviews Heather McGhee about her understanding of the Zero-sum game. The conversation emboldened the thinking I had about how ineffective White supremacy is and what has happened with anti Black racism and the pandemic of racism overall.
Simon Sinek discusses with Brené Brown some of his ideas from a few of his books that include: Start with Why, Leaders Eat Last and the Infinite Game.
Simon Sinek shares his idea of the multiple losses that happen when playing a Zero-sum game. My interest in watching this T.E.D. talk came after the thought about a totalitarian system being a Zero-sum game – that of White supremacy. I enjoyed Mr Sinek’s thought shower. Nomadland is a film that invites reflection on living with both freedom and the uncertainty this brings.
I have shared ‘Injustice’ the film as the ultimate Zero-sum literal experience. Criminal injustice and prison is a pure example of Zero-sum. Even within the prison system a repetitive pattern of winners and losers populate all strata of people incarcerated.
Ibram X Kendi with Dr Heather McGhee Be Anti-Racist
Simon Sinek with Brené Brown’s Dare to lead podcast
Simon Sinek T.E.D. talk Zero-sum game
Injustice A Biritsh film looking at the criminal Injustice Service in England and Wales.

Images
Cover photo Black playing cards by JESUS ECA on Unsplash
Jenga Stack photo by Virgil Cayasa on Unsplash
Risk photo by Halacious on Unsplash
Moody Backboard photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash
Game Over photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

3 Lions

The blog below concerns the many losses that occurred after the European Cup Final in 2021. If vicarious trauma can offer something of use, it would be to remember the steps to remain safe, aware and empowered.

Hurt Magnified
The violence witnessed via news sources at Wembly Stadium on the night of England’s defeat last month, came as a chafenning. The thousands that spilled out from the stadium causing uproar and wanton destruction on the streets of London was indicative of a hurt people hurting, that don’t realise that they are hurting and expel their hurt on to others. It pained me to see these esteemed set of players fall foul after an epic game of many ups and a few downs. The following piece of writing is an attempt at exposition.

FFS
I wonder a few thoughts here: Would an emotionally intelligent person/people act in ways that cause further emotional or physical distress and harm to others? What device could invite pause, for those who are hurting? Acting out in childish and outlandish ways is an errant choice. Could other creative means be employed to expel disappointment? My feelings of let down and frustration by the end result of England not winning the European championship made me look at future goals. There is a sense of inevitability rather than hopelessness. I was also able to recognise and hold onto the numerous successes the whole team had achieved. Mostly of briefly unifying a multi-cultural society as England soared through the group stages and made it to the quarterfinals, the semifinals and then on to the finals.

On Repeat
What I am left questioning is, if English football fans and supporters witness their team’s defeat again, will further racist, vindictive showings of abuse and violence, that appears mindless, again fill time in national and international media? My guess is that yes, there is a high probability the sensationalist press will. Filling time and news print. Unable and unwilling to offer themselves or the public a vulnerable introspective or reflective persective, but the regular, standardised rote stories of old. Stories that continue the divisive ‘us’ and ‘them’ rhetoric. ‘British football fans are as brutish and as problematic as they were in the 80’s.’ The press may report.

Systemic
Attempts at Kicking Racism out of football have continually been made however, if the structure upon which the beautiful game was first built and then is played upon: Historical legacy, Politics and Governmental Policy, Sports Journalism and sports infrastructure, Education, Law, Policing, Prison, Healthcare, Social Care, continue to hold and perpetually consume racist thought, beliefs and decisions, can supporters of the England football team be any less racist? Can racism be kicked out? The beautiful game is an idyll. Similar to many human ideals. Football and sport overall arises from humanity’s basal, primal needs. Aspiring towards something greater, the outright good for all.

Islander

Blame You
The fans are not the team. The fans are representative of a dormant underbelly. The seemingly over patriotic fans are of a settler refugee people that were war strewn and savaged historically by numerous conquests. What has been left? A residue amongst the psyche, an islander who feels vitriolic and triggered by any seeming slight gain at its shores. The national psyche will even dispel and violently attack any that is classed as other, and hold them to account for its own failings. This is a trauma response. This is a way to cognitively separate self from perceived harm that may be real or imagined. My question mostly is about the right some explicitly feel they have, to publicly disown fellow islanders. Is this lord of the flies on repeat?

Origin Story
It is undeniable that the 3 members of the team missed their penalties. It is also undeniable that these players origins hail from communities that lie beyond English shores. Do these two facts make these football players any less English because of their families place of birth or because of where their parents or grandparents grew up? A few years ago (11 if we want to split infinitives) I had a similar discussion with a psychotherapist from Germany. She argued that some people in her country were not really German. Primarily because of where their grandparents or parents were from. My argument was, if these immigrants spoke German, were educated in German schools and colleges, held a passport or other form of I.D. that identified them as German, they were in all manner of speaking as germane as she was. Lineage and history are something to be aware of, but are not tombstones upon which any country can claim who is to be classed amongst or dismissed as alien. Her argument was largely levelled against Turkish immigrants, who have suffered similar persecutions as visible minorities in the UK, Europe, North, Central and South America. A historical genealogy would show that there are more intersections of similarity amongst a nation state than there are aspects that separate citizens. Belonging is a matter of perspective.

Trauma Response
What I am left with is when we are quick to anger and disappointment, we stop existing in our thinking rational human minds and enter a primitive brain system. A similar disordered thinking pattern happens too, when we are triggered by traumatic memory or experiencing trauma. Our pre-frontal cortex goes off-line and we enter a way of being that is operant on survival instincts. We flee, fight, freeze, or friend with an aggressor. The applied psychology for me here, is if we observe the furore of English football fans snarling and lashing out against a perceived threat, we could ascribe these actions to a fight response. Quick to anger is a trauma response too, involving perceived ideas and experiences of defeat, destruction and death.

Industrialisation pictured

Result
How some choose to discharge these feelings without further processing are to attack either verbally or physically all who are potentially a threat. With vitriolic and seemingly patriotic missiles thrown against those who appear obviously different. On Sunday the 11th of July 2021, fans threw barbs, fists and feet at Italian football fans wearing the Italian football team’s colours. The 3 English football players that brought about England’s defeat received racist abuse. Physically they could not be attacked. Mentally, psychologically they could.

The loss of the game, which on that night appeared not to be tolerated, accepted or predicted. The fans caught on camera and fans who wrote horrible messages online, seem not to be able to subsume loss without personal affect. It would appear that the subsidence of adrenalin and endorphin coursing through blood streams moments before the first English missed penalty caused hearts to stop. The stress hormone cortisol that possibly swamped an uncountable number of bodies and minds, worked it’s alarming panic. Can our human minds make sudden hormonal and emotional changes without veering towards the unthink of the wounded? The reasoning may be because, learning of loss and defeat are also a part of living a full and complicated life. Enduring a football match of such importance may not have been readily appreciated, by a triggered few. Once traumatised – one’s thinking can be altered and may not allow for thinking that involves *greydom. It is either Black or it is White. We run or we fight. Simple. Ultimately we stay alive!

Make Sport, Not War
The difficulty I have with the trauma responses at the defeat of England’s football team, or the unthink of trauma reactions by fans, are there was no war, only sport. The beautiful game became sullied with wants of victory that were pulled from grasp at seemingly an intolerable moment. Thereby causing a rupture into basal behaviour and non thinking actions. That has lead to hysteria, harm as well as over-hyped expectations being dashed. Leading to wanton damage. Trumpism on a national scale. It is like the idea of a White offensive nationalism overriding and overtaking a largely positive muti-cultural and encouraging experience. What was shared and possibly would be best to be later processed, are trauma words that then potentially traumatise many others.

Marriage
For a misremembered history to be made factual, a mislabeled past is to be believed above and over the data that invites doubt that the evidence is false. The UK and England suffered invasion, repeatedly from nation states as far afield as Scandinavia, Spain and Italy. The French and the Dutch were also interlopers despoiling ransacking and plundering the island as they saw fit. The point of my historic meanderings is to observe what defences an Island Nation can install. The UK could invest in fleets of ships to defend it’s shores. An island Nation can use intellectual defenses like cognitive dissonance to deny what it has seen, heard and felt. A nation can make allyship and appeal to powers greater than itself to keep it’s sovereign soil free from further invasion. The UK has engaged in all manner of similar actions mentioned above, but the nation and the minds of it’s citizens are still yet to heal from previous historic wounds. The UK has spread them, like a polygamous intimate violent partner whose tools of hurt are psychological, physical, sexual, emotional, financial and emotional – Slavery, Indentured labour, Colonialism, Capitalism.

Equal and yet

All Past
These forms of abuse listed afore, were visited upon the Island nation and once the UK and England became a global controlling behemoth, it too became like it’s former oppressors: abusive, controlling, violent, as insidious and vindictive as the harms suffered in the past. Contorting to a new form of divisive control amongst the UK’s global subjects that included industrialisation, economic disparity, wealth acquisition and dominion over through Colonialism. There are ghosts in the shell that will not acknowledge that a past as challenging and as damaging would have left a people battle scarred and lithe to violence and harm at the smallest infraction or insult. A football game can now be seen as an act of revenge and just desserts that underline a trauma response from a formerly traumatised people who then exact their experiences upon others. It is Israel and Palestine. It is Spain’s assault of Central and South America after the Moors 800 year conquest leaving architecture, religion, science, and libraries. It is Europe’s global treasure seeking exploration into Africa, Asia, North, Central and Southern America and the greater Pacific Islands of Papua New Guinea, Austrialia and New Zealand. An unjustified, unequal exchange offering only barbarianism over civility.

Defy
I am left with:

A little more humour,
Some semblance of understanding,
A degree more compassion for
Hurt people who then go on to hurt others.

There is cause, and there are possible outcomes and effects. With a psychotherapists scalpel to hand, supporting the necessary surgery and bleeding away with uncompromising words…

Asé

Resources
The resources shared below are in order to support reflective thinking in relation to the above post. The aim is to in one small part share knowledge and engage with ideas that interrupt miss interpreted notions of good Black, bad White.
Kicking Racism out of Football a sliding doors YouTube moment where one error filled choice, potentially leads to dire consequences.
Howard Nicholas discuses in a clear way the Zero Sum game Western countries, their policies and practices have prevented the development of Sub Saharan Africa.
Ghost in the Shell offers a rapid overview of the 1995 Manga classic. Where knowledge and doubt are used to coerce a number of outcomes for a number of protagonists/antagonists.
Joy DeGruy explains her idea of Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome and how the behaviour is presented as, for Black communities in the African Diaspora. I use Joy DeGruy’s position on PTSS as a pin to spin the idea of the UK’s self perceived greatness to it’s conquered and defeated past, and what effects it’s citizens are unknowingly carrying.
Akala is possibly one of the most electrifying thought leaders the world has in relation to race theory, critical analysis and culture. In 2016 he shares his ideas about Institutionalised racism. I wonder what has changed since 2016?
Gary Neville offers his understanding of England’s defeat and racist outrage with understanding and compassion.
Anna Edwards writes a short article on the book Fortress Britain by Ian Hernon. Anna also shares in the article the list of the many countries that the UK later despoiled is another factor to be contended with.

Joy DeGruy Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome
Akala explains Institutionalised Racism
Gary Neville interview on England’s Defeat Sky Sports
False Notions of Britain – Daily Mail

Images
Cover photo Football Pitch by Izuddin Helmi Adnan on Unsplash
1st photo inlay of 4 Islands by Ahmed Yaaniu on Unsplash
2nd photo inlay of Industrialisation by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash
3rd photo inlay of 2 Knights embattled by Hassan Pasha on Unsplash

Internalised Racism – Games

I am rounding the corner on the topic of Internalised Racism with this blog. The games we play to keep ourselves safe or amuse ourselves is observed within this post.

Games
I was interested in playing Freeze Tag, Bulldog or climbing and jumping from climbing frames at my primary school. The game of disgust and dislike, projective identification, lateral violence and internalised racism would be concepts I could only begin deconstructing when adult. An unrealised inheritance. As a child I tried to make myself invisible and stay away from these two sisters. The new and best game to play. An unwilling game of hide and seek. But a type of hiding an aspect of myself that was plainly visible, similar to the faces of my friends and also of my tormentors – these Dementors, was a plight I could not extricate myself beyond. They were me. I was them. Zero sum with no winners. Mainly losers of ground, development, progress, time…

Lateral Violence
The experience of infighting amongst others who are at a similar social standing or within an organisation. The expression of animosity with others from similar cultural and racial backgrounds. Where outrage and dissention cannot be shared with managers or dominant racial, class, gender, groups for fear of individual and of a group’s destruction stall efforts at empowerment, or truth sharing.

Expression of an individual’s or a group’s displeasure, rage, disappointment in a sideways motion can be a safer way to share dissatisfaction to others. The damage is done amongst others who feel bullied, hurt, outmaneuvered, played, let down and powerless. It has been said before “Hurt people, hurt people.” Lateral violence ultimately is an extension of powerless groups expressing pain amongst people groups, similar to them.

‘Lateral violence is a term that describes the way people in positions of powerlessness, covertly or overtly direct their dissatisfaction inward toward each other, toward themselves, and toward those less powerful than themselves.’ By Jens Korff

Issues of Identity
As a group, Black people experience and perpetrate internalised racist acts against those who are African, African American, African European, African Caribbean, African LatinX. Lateral violence is also visited amongst and within Asian communities, South East Asian communities, indigenous groups in the South Pacific and across the Americas. Holding to a belief of what oppressive devious strategies were used upon many peoples across the planet to divide conquer and rule.

An outcome of hurt people who willingly went on to hurt others.

Resources
Freeze Tag is a powerful song by the super group Dinner Party that reminds of the many who whilst surrendering were still/are slain. Put your hands up. Freeze. Don’t move!
The scene from Harry Potter from Prisoner of Azkaban perfectly depicts for me the experience of the soul sucking force bullying can have.
Jens Korf goes to great lengths to explain lateral violence, and what steps can be taken to cease internal and external conflicts.
Dr Kira shares an idea of reconceptualising the idea of internalised racism.
A useful clip from a groundbreaking tv show ‘The School That Tried to End Racism’. I found Bright’s awareness of the challenges he and friends face heartfelt.
Bullying & lateral violence – Creative Spirits
Dr Kira explains Reframing Internalised Oppression
Internalised Oppression Explained The School That Tried to End Racism clip

Images
Light Signature Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Internalised Racism – Missed It

I have continued with the theme of Internalised Racism offering a personal insight of how I recognise what it looks and feels like with this blog.

Miss Hit
What is missed by projecting outward on to others, what we cannot stomach? We could benefit from further understanding ourselves. This point Dr Dwight Turner invites us to spend time with. Projective Identification (P. I. ) is a self protecting act, but the act cannot fully protect the persons who expel what they cannot tolerate in themselves onto others.

It creates in the object projected upon, a sense of fear and loathing. Deficits of self-worth, self-esteem, anxiety and low mood. Manifestations of the disdain are re-presented by the subjected upon persons internally/interiorly and to others who resemble or behave in similar ways to them.

Here my attempt is to match P.I. and Internalised Racism as cousins. In essence those who are treated by a nationally sanctioned power structure; unkindly, unfairly, with prejudice, do not have the power to represent their hurt to those who hurt them. The hurt people observe the hurt in themselves internalise it and project this hurt on to others who appear similar to them. Both Zed and Daniel offer useful interpretations in last week’s post.

Division
An early experience I can remember that woke me up to what internalized racism is was being bullied at primary school by two Caribbean girls. I can’t exactly remember what these 2 girls repeatedly said to me. Something like ‘Smelly little African boy’. The resemblance was of a hatred that was borne as a result of my father – African. His genes a part of mine. This an undeniable truth. I could not make sense of their disowning of our joint cultural heritage and obvious visible similarity. My skin – brown like theirs. My mum was from the Caribbean too, so were we not the same? Not to them.

Power Over
This experience of internalised racism was one I could not comprehend at the age of 6. The bullies dislike was a felt sense of wrongness. Mine. Possibly theirs too. I assume (now), that these two sisters felt a sense of power and a feeling of entitlement.

Brené Brown discusses the concept of power over, as opposed to power with, or power amongst. The Caribbean for me was well represented amongst my friends. Culturally, London and the UK of the late 70’s to mid 80’s, Caribbean influence was acknowledged and appeared valued.

Music, Slang, Fashion all influenced by children of migrants from the Caribbean. Bob Marley and other reggae stars were regularly heard on stereo systems across the estate I lived on. My world – Tottenham High Road and Wood Green felt like mini slices of Guyana, Trinidad, Barbados, Jamaica, St Kitts, Dominica, the Grenadines. The homes we visited, the shops and grocery stores, the foods we ate were of mostly Caribbean and West African flavour and influence.

Norf
My awareness of racial and cultural understandings arrived late, like the 243 bus to Wood Green , or the 321 to Seven Sisters. The raising awareness job is a lifelong one, but peaked when I moved out of London to Cambridgeshire in the mid 80’s. The North London Estate I grew up on was filled with newly arrived immigrants from a great collection of African, Caribbean, Asian and European countries. These two girls would sneer at me whenever our paths crossed at school or on the estate. They, whispering to each other and cutting their eyes in my direction as if their waspish looks could make me disappear. Their disapproval didn’t make sense to me but left an invisible mark. That of being disliked by others for a seemingly senseless and unknown reason. I became distrustful of persons who cast unkind and disparaging looks my way.

Resources
Ursula Rucker performs Innocence Lost. The line that stands out is missed hit. The resonance is palpable as this poet intones an all too familiar story. The Roots woke me up to the power in poetry.
Hana and Leila discuss in detail the insults that are thrown back and forth between Africans and African Americans.
I thank Kimberly Cato of True Roots who passed on the Halton Voices video. Sameera discusses with guests what Internalised Racism is.
The Stoop You Called Me African What?
Diverse Perspectives conversations with Sameera Ali, Leena Sharma Seth, Mifrah Abid

Images
Cover Photo Lee Junda

Internalised Racism

Hidden by same race or similar cultural groups. Internalised Racism could be experienced as lateral violence. I will do my best to explore both terms and offer a few resources that look at the experiences of internalised racism in blogs to follow.

Internalised Racism Definition
The upholding of a system such as White supremacy by racialized groups both unconsciously and consciously. It looks like in racial group dislike or hatred of peoples from similar racial backgrounds. Looking to confirm one group being better than another group. It is Shadism/Colourism, Poor v Rich, Educated against Undereducated, Gender, Age, Sexual preference, Religious affiliation and denomination against other faiths and beliefs. Many of these points of sameness, difference and otherness are well addressed by the book Mockingbird.

Group Discussion
I was asked what my thoughts were in relation to internalized racism by Kimberley Cato. This question was posed for the last group discussion for True Roots of the season. My thoughts on internalised racism in late May 2021 weren’t fully formed. Reading ‘Intersections Of Privilege And Otherness’ helped to begin formulating my understanding. I will share below what Dr Dwight Turner writes because it offers an understanding that is useful to how my mind has been able to make use of these earlier incisions to character development. I recognise that a discussion on this topic can be sensitive to engage with. I will offer my experience as a base board from which to move beyond in later pieces of writing.

Resources Explained
Jabari discusses his growing into an awareness of internalised racism in an accessible and personable way.
Farah Nasser discusses with University of Toronto professor Girish Daswani, and communications professional, Gelek Badheytsang about internalized racism. The conversation highlights some of what the True Roots conversation spent time; evaluating, rueing and laughing at. What I enjoyed from the Living Colour interview was the unequivocal idea that internalised racism can be changed.

Resources
Jabari Lyles Lessons on Internalised Racism
What is Internalised Racism? Living in Colour

Images
Candle melt near table splash photo by Jaclyn Moy on Unsplash