Internalised Racism – Games

I am rounding the corner on the topic of Internalised Racism with this blog. The games we play to keep ourselves safe or amuse ourselves is observed within this post.

Games
I was interested in playing Freeze Tag, Bulldog or climbing and jumping from climbing frames at my primary school. The game of disgust and dislike, projective identification, lateral violence and internalised racism would be concepts I could only begin deconstructing when adult. An unrealised inheritance. As a child I tried to make myself invisible and stay away from these two sisters. The new and best game to play. An unwilling game of hide and seek. But a type of hiding an aspect of myself that was plainly visible, similar to the faces of my friends and also of my tormentors – these Dementors, was a plight I could not extricate myself beyond. They were me. I was them. Zero sum with no winners. Mainly losers of ground, development, progress, time…

Lateral Violence
The experience of infighting amongst others who are at a similar social standing or within an organisation. The expression of animosity with others from similar cultural and racial backgrounds. Where outrage and dissention cannot be shared with managers or dominant racial, class, gender, groups for fear of individual and of a group’s destruction stall efforts at empowerment, or truth sharing.

Expression of an individual’s or a group’s displeasure, rage, disappointment in a sideways motion can be a safer way to share dissatisfaction to others. The damage is done amongst others who feel bullied, hurt, outmaneuvered, played, let down and powerless. It has been said before “Hurt people, hurt people.” Lateral violence ultimately is an extension of powerless groups expressing pain amongst people groups, similar to them.

‘Lateral violence is a term that describes the way people in positions of powerlessness, covertly or overtly direct their dissatisfaction inward toward each other, toward themselves, and toward those less powerful than themselves.’ By Jens Korff

Issues of Identity
As a group, Black people experience and perpetrate internalised racist acts against those who are African, African American, African European, African Caribbean, African LatinX. Lateral violence is also visited amongst and within Asian communities, South East Asian communities, indigenous groups in the South Pacific and across the Americas. Holding to a belief of what oppressive devious strategies were used upon many peoples across the planet to divide conquer and rule.

An outcome of hurt people who willingly went on to hurt others.

Resources
Freeze Tag is a powerful song by the super group Dinner Party that reminds of the many who whilst surrendering were still/are slain. Put your hands up. Freeze. Don’t move!
The scene from Harry Potter from Prisoner of Azkaban perfectly depicts for me the experience of the soul sucking force bullying can have.
Jens Korf goes to great lengths to explain lateral violence, and what steps can be taken to cease internal and external conflicts.
Dr Kira shares an idea of reconceptualising the idea of internalised racism.
A useful clip from a groundbreaking tv show ‘The School That Tried to End Racism’. I found Bright’s awareness of the challenges he and friends face heartfelt.
Bullying & lateral violence – Creative Spirits
Dr Kira explains Reframing Internalised Oppression
Internalised Oppression Explained The School That Tried to End Racism clip

Images
Light Signature Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Jitters: The Night Before

Having the jitters before the big day is normal, expected, an indication of the importance of what is to be tried. 13th of November was going to be gigantic because I was about to start providing a low cost counselling group experience for Black Men in S.E. London.

*Solstice Shuffle
With the days here in the northern hemisphere becoming shorter and shorter, and with that colder too, rather than retreat and hide. I want to fight back the dark with warmth and light. My colleague and I are to start something I feel will be big. Important. Game Changing. We have talked and laughed and listened and prepared.

It’s time.
So the jitters, and jitter bugging are a nervous type of energy. Highlighting an excitement and a wondering of what is going to be. New. Novel. Nuanced. Black focused group therapy for men.

Why?
Because why not! The reasons aren’t as important as the reasons that some are asking them. What reasons arise in your minds eye as to the reasons as to why, there could be need of an introductory course for therapy for Black Men?

Support
Speaking with my supervisor a few months ago I asked, do you think this idea of mine is racist? He took his time and invited me to think about my reasoning, my question, the need. I did and said No, I do not feel that the group is a racist idea. The want is to support an under-served social and ethnic group access skilled support at a low cost. Some psycho-education will happen and the aim will be to support members grow towards a healthy sense of themselves and their position in the world.

A memoir, an insight to living whilst Black

Lack
I recognise that men generally are less inclined to express themselves and be vulnerable with others. That takes time. It’s a strength that women largely are gifted with. Men tend to suppress their softer side for fear of being manipulated or hurt or worse humiliated. The concern is that under pressure, that hiding, turns those suppressed feelings into something toxic and harmful. We know of the term toxic masculinity.

Triplicate
Being toxic as a Black Man is like a triple bind.

1. Not speaking about ones vulnerability and pain causes us (humans) to seek other ways to find release. Some of these ways can lead to long term health factors that affect Black Men in particular and those connected to them acutely.

2. Becoming toxic, distrustful, upset and angry causes others usually friends, partners and family to flee, reduce contact, disconnect from or just avoid and hide.

Professional dislike
The trusted are often met with the same vitriol and disruptive rage as Drs, nurses, psychologists, probation officers, teachers, police personnel, employers and work colleagues. With the disruption some meet their needs through miss-telling of truths. Making the environment of the affected worse. Thus serving to – ratchet up their paranoia or distrust. Leading to more self isolation and projected anger at others.

Hitting Out
The third and final bind is when the lid blows off!

These moments tips the scales violently over.
The contents carefully balanced are shattered scattered and lost. The family, job, friends, savings, house, children, partner, colleagues, all ruined.

The man at the centre of the storm can then fall foul of pre existing stereotypes. He – unable to cope with the pressures of life. A Man Not really. A Man deemed crazy. Unable to climb and look after himself or anyone else for that matter. A drain on resources, draining energy, becoming to onlookers: menacing. Unworthy…

The Straw
Mental health services are generally not accessed before the police are called in. Usually it is this point that help is found and quickly. Society seems ready to pounce as the risk level becomes uncontained by members of the general public.

Detention
The implosion leads then to an enforced section and the man’s civil liberties of self-governance, self respect, self determination sanctioned and taken from him for between 48hours up to two weeks. Legally! Sometimes it can be for far longer. For this man it is a story he may have avoided. If there was a way to have found a space to discharge through speaking about his allostatic loads with (an)other(s).

A stong looking exterior often hides the vulnerability and the pain. Lets talk www.michaelforfiehcounselling.com
Let’s Talk now.
Photo by Giulia Pugliese on Unsplash

Perhaps
My jitters are about the chance to create a new story. For the one above. For that lonely man who shuffles along the street, sometimes talking or singing to himself. Looking unwell. Acting in a slightly bereft, unkempt way.

Rise
The idea of creating something new as a psychological model is both powerful and exciting. People engaging in therapeutic communities and therapeutic work is a different outcome to the bleak one I have witnessed as a Londoner, as a person working in prison, as a consciously aware Black Man that wants to listen for a different ending. Sometimes a situation has to reach rock bottom before it gets better.

Sometimes

Resources
Code Switch – This Racism Is Killing Me on The Inside
The Stoop – Angry Black Woman
BAATN – Beyond Silence

Comments are welcome.