Deeping It: Persistence 5

This blog summarises the experiences of being persistent. The costs and some of the benefits of being able to stick with it.

noun: persistence
the fact of continuing in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.
“Cardiff’s persistence was rewarded with a try”

Similar: perseverance, tenacity, determination, resolve, resolution, resoluteness, staying power, purposefulness, firmness of purpose, patience, endurance, application, diligence, sedulousness, dedication, commitment, doggedness, persistency, pertinacity, assiduity, assiduousness, steadfastness, tirelessness, indefatigability, stamina, intransigence, obstinacy, Sitzfleisch, stickability, stick-to-it-iveness, continuance, perseveration

the continued or prolonged existence of something.
“the persistence of huge environmental problems”

Peck Peck Peck
When I think about persistence I think about someone who is not giving up on their mission. Whatever their mission might be. Not stopping to seek guidance or support from anyone. Feeling and believing that their mission in life has to be completed at all costs. A number of important individuals come to mind when I think about persistency. My 3 sisters, my wife, a number of friends and people I have worked with who have this drive for fulfilment and will not stop until their goals are met.

How?
It is possible that the question is phrased incorrectly. Perhaps the question should be about the why of being persistent rather than the how to be persistent. For some, the drive to continue comes from a question they are seeking answers for. Others are guided, scolded, rewarded for being consistent and persistent. The outcome for someone who is persistent is that an achievement is made. They arrive at the goal they had worked to achieve.

Internally Motivated
Persisting with Energy

Where?
The drive to be persistent I feel is inherited from a range of sources that can include parents, siblings, school and education, noticing injustices, wanting to see a world where your ideas are seen understood and accessed. Others are born persistent and their drive to achieve was inbuilt from the moment they could crawl or walk.

Looks Like?
Being persistent can be a pain for others to experience. But being knocked back. Shut down and disillusioned, doesn’t stop the desire to benefit others and the will to be persistent. I think of Malcolm X when I think about persistence. His persistence, work ethic and commitment to the cause of uplifting a generation of people was extraordinary. Malcolm and the Nation of Islam gave many people hope. Others much to fear. But the vision of achievement and success of wanting African Americans to emancipate themselves from mental slavery was inspiring for many.

Better Futures
Having a vision is a thing that supports someone’s development and commitment to being persistent. I have 2 visions.
The first is to help make psychology both interesting and accessible for the young. A tool that can be used to improve an individuals or many people’s lives.
The 2nd vision arrives in 2 parts. Part a) is to help make the lives of incarcerated peoples visible. Part b) of this vision is to support those serving sentences in prison to develop a fuller understanding of the lives they had lead. The life they are living whilst in prison and what life they can continue once they leave prison.

So
What steps are you going to take if you want to be persistent? How are you going to maintain your energy, commitment, interest and enthusiasm for your cause? What will it mean to achieve your goal? What will happen if you do not?

Resources
Denzel Washington Acceptance Speech
Malcolm X – The Autobiography Alex Haley
Unlocking Us – Brené Brown with Tarana Burke

Images
Cover photo by Boris Stefanik on Unsplash
Inlay photo by Yingchou Han on Unsplash
Intro, Substance, Resilience, Resistance, Insistence

Deeping It: Resistance 4

I take the opportunity to let the idea of resistance run riot. This blog in the series attempts to not restrain itself whilst appreciating the topic of resistance.

noun: resistance
the refusal to accept or comply with something.
“they displayed a narrow-minded resistance to change”

the use of force or violence to oppose someone or something.
“government forces were unable to crush guerrilla-style resistance”

a secret organization resisting authority, especially in an occupied country.
plural noun: resistances; noun: resistance movement; plural

noun: resistance movements
“he went underground and joined the resistance”

Current Experiences
There have been a number of current and recent experiences that deal with resistance Feb – April 2020. Staying at home and protecting ourselves and family from contracting COVID19 supports our health services. There are many other experiences that include presenting strong public opinion to those in power like:
Black Lives Matter movement,
the Me Too movement,
resistance protests about nation states going to war,
closing of mines or factories,
the occupy movement and
stopping to pay attention to the crises of global warming by a young Swedish school student that inspired the extinction agenda.

Wall
Putting up a resistance ultimately is about standing up for something you believe in. You may feel that an issue or a problem you face is unfair. You may want the direction of a concept or policy decision or a group of people’s ideas to change.

Being someone who resists can bring with it an experience of conflict. For young and mature individuals the idea of conflict can be a break from the norm. Realisations and advances are made at a greater speed in times of conflict. The conflict could involve intellectual, moral, gender concerns and differences, race, scientific, religious, economic, social, ethnic, cultural and educational *awareni.

Fight
When I think about resistance I often think about buildings resisting gravity or of the American Civil Rights Movement. For something to be resistant towards an ideal or a way of thinking, that something is invited to oppose – strongly.

Beach Peace a coming together after fighting with self, another or the day.
After Conflict Comes Peace

Logically and emotionally the idea appears not to hold together much like Dave Chang’s Ugly Delicious Netflix show. But somehow it does! An idea such as capitalism or socialism exist along a continuum. Both existing to support communities and the state and having different ideas of how each achieves good for all.

Food Journeys
In Ugly Delicious The Chef, Dave Chang, travels the world to discover food origins and stories of the people that cook amazing meals. The show presents us with the idea that food can be much more than pleasing to the eye, or technically advanced. That food can be about just bringing people together with the experience of eating. Ugly D is an intellectual fight and an education at the same time through what looks like amazing food.

Day to Day
On a down to earth level, resistance is about recognising what you want and identifying what you don’t. Making sure you recognise another person’s agenda for you. Being okay to stick with your choice. The choice you made may well be in opposition to another or other people’s ideas. Being okay with that is an awareness of tension and continuing to resist!

Continuing
There is a saying that ‘What you resist, persists’. Here I pause for thought. The reason I say this is because acceptance of something becomes a mindful act. When full acknowledgement of an experience happens, we can then accept it and choose to take it, or leave it. Knowing fully what it is. If we are simply resisting something that is not known fully it is likely to persist.

Let Go
The reason that an idea or an experience persists is because part of our minds hasn’t fully appreciated it and so cannot let it go. 10 years ago (Oct 2010), I started my career at a London prison. I had a genuine curiosity about men and women I would meet behind the wall. What lives did they lead before? How were they living now in prison? What would happen once they returned to the community? Until I had satisfied these questions I would find myself wondering.

With Great Power
Not all curiosities without prior research are to be jumped into. Be aware and satisfy wanting to know more by reading or consuming a lot of media on any subject or topic. The internet is like a Library. Use it well.

With Caution
Lived experience is one thing, sometimes accessing information from others is just as useful. Reducing the intensity of an itch could be a goal. Thereby closing a loop. What are you currently resisting? What reasons do you have for pushing against? What would happen if you stopped resisting?

Resources
How a Resistance Movement Succeeds by Nicolas Berggruen
Kerning Cultures Fight or Flight

Images
Cover photo by Mike Ko on Unsplash
Inlay photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
Intro, Substance, Resilience, Persistence, Insistence

Shepherds Pie

On Writing

Obsession
This writing thing has become an important part of my self-expression and sharing these thoughts with you has been a commitment to the art of crafting something from nothing.

Feint wisps of ideas.

Gossamer on air.

Insecto
I use my notepad on my phone to catch a fly through thought, before it completely disappears. There’s something wild about these fresh new ideas, like capturing a butterfly or firefly.

Net it
There have been many I miss. Usually I am driving to one of the prisons I work at listening to a podcast. A new idea will arrive with what I am listening to. Most of the time when I park the car and get out, the thought has left me. Foolishly I think the thought much like that butterfly will return.

Sometimes
Like that delicate insect, the idea sort of does and sort of doesn’t. It twists and is lost in the turbulence of other thoughts. Then returns changed adapted and disguised with a cacophony of close and distant cousin ideas. There are times when I fret that Thursday mornings will arrive and at 08:30am BST I will have nothing to say, share or display. There have been close calls where I am honing and shaping unruly paragraphs or hyperlinks in before my weekly deadline of Thursday 08:30.

Real Artists
Then there are those weeks when the butterfly returns with friends. I find that I cannot keep my hands still or supple enough to capture all that my mind is whizzing through. Much like my *inspirator Jeff Goins. I feel that art is in each and everyone of us.

Capturing Moments

Scribble
Like the Islamic Calligrapher friend that I know. Who’s artistic talent of putting brush to paper I am ardently waiting to see, or the chef, the poet, stand up comedian, the teacher, the rapper, presentation maker, film producer, coach and fellow writers – their craft all waiting for daylight to see what they release.

Schedule
Generally I don’t have a regular pattern to my time of writing. I just do. Some write every morning. Some in the evening. For me it’s as often as I can and when I do, I am searching for diamonds or gold amongst acres of untilled soil. Currently this paragraph is being written whilst the last touches to a shepherd’s pie are added. I stand in the kitchen watching, so that just enough of everything including spice is introduced. My job was to mash the potatoes add milk, butter and then add freshly grated nutmeg.

Authoring Trumpets
The episode of Broken Record exemplifies my experience of writing. What Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers says about the experience of writing in the podcast, resonates with me.

Flea raises what my day to day battles, triumphs and failures, with writing are like and largely lie unknown. The failures get deleted before they are released. I try hard to polish these pieces before they are let loose.

Some blogs land like damp dish sponges. Others I feel stand out like jewels. Acid For the Children from Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond is a great portrayal of a person willing to find their riddle.

Inherent
With just over 100 pieces of sprawling thought. Filling time and air and web space the goal is to get to 200 and then see:

  • Have these blogs provided value
  • Are they worth reading
  • What would Thursday’s or Fridays look like without these musings

I value what 2 years of consistent insistent and persistent practice have taught and helped me to unearth. I can only hope that you have appreciated what 1 – 3 hours of processed thoughts do.

Cavernous
In 2015 when I began writing I did not realise what I had started. How much I would gain from putting pen to paper – Now more type to screen.

I am surprised by the amount of learning I would gather. Be a willing contributor to a sharing economy with these pages. A highlight for me is when speaking with others knowing that there are tunnel’s worth of processed thought and impressions. Waiting to be discovered at the push of a button. These embossed ideas lay behind and underneath me. I have used my blogs to illustrate a point that reference other’s words and ideas too. Like a labyrinth with no Minotaur I am curious about everything and what lies at the tunnel’s ending.


Resources
Broken Record Acid for the children – a conversation with Flea
2 Guys on Your Head – on Writing
Everything is Alive – Sharpie Pen

Images
Cover photo by Michael Opoku-Forfieh
Inlay photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash

Falling Ability of Memory

Oh my MG
A good writer, journalist, author can bring you aboard their insight like a sea worthy crew member after being swept up in a raging sea storm. Malcolm Gladwell is for me that great sailor and an ongoing *inspirator (inspiring conspirator). His expansive ideas educate and instill knowledge like glittering diamonds. Carefully collected like the gems they truly are.
Currently I have been challenged by his Revisionist History episode Free Brian Williams and will explain below.

Do You Remember When?
The episode presents a curious point of view. It all begins with where we’re you when the World Trade Centre Buildings were attacked? Me: September 11, 2001 I was called from my office by a young person. I remember them asking “but weren’t you there this year?”

Rain Soaked Street

I remember looking at the TV in a Youth Cafe in Woolwich in dumbfounded shock! Filled with disbelief. In January of that year I had spent many wonderful days in NY with my friend SO. Travelling from New Jersey to NY beneath the World Trade Cenre Buildings.

And so hooked I fell into the story of a news anchor person who told a version of events that did not occur as his memory told him they had.

Made up mind
The why of the story is what threw me. I did not want to have my mind changed. Especially because what I had thought was so obviously correct. In my minds eye I was right and decent and moral. He the cheat, Brian Williams, should have known better. But Malcolm weaves a story that blends science, psychopathology with neuroscience. The mix is heavy and splits me along ethically dubious lines. The show ends and I find myself interrogating my many memory missteps too.

Again with the Netflix?
Mamadou Athie was not Grandmaster Flash in the Get Down I confidently said to Dr CW as we watched Uncorked. He was an older gentleman I said. I replayed scenes burned into my mind of Grandmaster flash teaching the ‘younger’ DJ how to find the lyric in a song and keep that playing. I was confident. Then I heard Malcom whispering “remember what was said in the podcast”. We think our memory is indelible like a CD or Video recording or cassette tape. It is not.

Screw Cap
Our memories may remember key pieces of information. Bits. Like an outfit. A face. A scene. A voice. A piece of music. A scent. But the whole conceptualisation our memories simply cannot fully compute with crystalline accuracy.

Review
For 1 second of data to be processed by our brains there are millions of pieces of information being assimilated, ignored and stored. Of course we aren’t going to be able to recall them all. We simply cannot. So I revised mentally The Get Down and Mahmadou in Uncorked and realised my error.

Malcolm and Dr CW were right. My memory had failed me and yet I was ready to stick to my wrongful ideas and hold these above what turned out to be a truth. Reluctantly I realised that I was similar to Brian Williams! Believing what my memory told me and not what others advised me was true and correct.

Duality
The effect of the realisation is laughable and uncomfortable. Another area of fallibility is our gut feeling or going on the feeling of something purely. Read ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ by Daniel Kahneman for a fuller understanding. We should employ both fast and slow thinking. We would find, we would make different choices. Also read the Chimp Paradox to gain a better understanding of our brains capacity to splice information resulting in different reactions.

Sidestep
Listen to the episode of revisionist history and share either anonymously or below when and where your memory played a trick on you.
Altered Carbon? Possibly we are. We were not meant to hold onto these *rememberings. In fact every time we pull up a memory the memory changes. These blogs, journals, diaries, photos and videos are a way of capturing an idea or memory in a time capsule and store it as it was back then.

After Lockdown 2020
Post COVID19, you could do yourself a favour. Welcome a new world. Where we recognise that unless we train our minds to become memory champions like Jim Kwik or Yanjaa Wintersoul, external devices will store parts of what you no longer have active need to remember. Why not let these memories go. Remembering things like embarrassing or traumatic events might actually be holding you back from experiencing something new and worth remembering. Just a thought. Remember to forget.

Perhaps life is better that way.

Resources
Revisionist History Free Brian Williams
Jim Kwik Memory
2 Guys on Your Head – Memory
Hidden Brain – Did That Really Happen?

Images
Cover photo by David Becker on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Bangkit Ristant on Unsplash

LA TERCERA GUERRA MUNDIAL UNA TEORIA: CORONAVIRUS

Es posible que nuestro mundo esté viviendo la mayor amenaza global a la supervivencia humana desde la epidemia de la gripe de 1918 y la segunda guerra mundial. COVID19 se ha definido como una pandemia, una emergencia global sin precedencia, y una guerra.

La amenaza es una proteína que una vez invade/infecta a su huésped, se reproduce, causa enfermedad y preocupantemente, la muerte.
Es la parte de la muerte la que es indiscriminada y derriba vecindarios y estados. Me recuerda a documentales de la segunda mundial y edificios siendo detonados en pedazos y comunidades destruidas. Todos hemos sido involuntariamente llamados a luchar, AHORA.

ADVERTENCIA: Esto es una inmersión en algunas ideas asociativas que tengo para apoyar y manejar la crisis actual. El objetivo es proporcionar ideas útiles y una breve descripción de algunos medios que he consumido que me ayudan a posicionar esta amenaza existencial.

Teoría del Gato
Compartí con un cliente la teoría del gato de Schrödinger para apoyar su aceptación y reconstrucción de la idea de lo desconocido que es el COVID19, cepa de gripe que está actualmente poniendo el mundo patas arriba. Sencillamente presente la teoría de un gato muerto/ no muerto en una caja como una manera de ayudar a asimilar la difícil realidad de la pandemia que es COVID19.

El virus me recuerda a un hongo (David Attenborough presenta hongos entomopatógenos) que afecta a insectos. En cuestión de días estos insectos se convierten en cadáveres que ayudan a propagar las esporas de los hongos a otros insectos desprevenidos para crear otros hongos. La naturaleza es ridículamente inteligente. De manera similar, un asaltante invisible está causando que todo lo que consideramos en nuestra experiencia mundial como importante y valioso sea derribado e irreparablemente alterado.

La Teoría de Schrödinger
Y así a la teoría del gato de Schrödinger. La teoría es que imaginemos un gato doméstico. El atigrado se coloca en una caja con un isotopo radiactivo. Debo decir que, en ningún momento se llevó a cabo este experimento.
Esto es un experimento mental, que invita a nuestras mentes humanas a tener dos ideas opuestas al mismo tiempo. Como en la teoría cuántica, donde la luz está compuesta de partículas y actúa como una onda al mismo tiempo. El isótopo radiactivo está conectado con un temporizador que libera el veneno en un momento específico pero desconocido.

La Paradoja de lo Desconocido
La pregunta a responder es, ¿el gato está vivo o muerto? Para un científico o una persona curiosa como mi cliente, se plantean cuestiones sobre la cantidad de isótopos radiactivos y la resistencia del gato. Otras preguntas también podrían incluir si el gato tenía comida o agua para mantenerse y por cuánto tiempo está en la caja. 24 horas es el tiempo que di como respuesta. Creo que para el experimento mental la respuesta fue una hora y sí, en mi ejemplo, había suficiente comida y agua para sostener al gato durante 24 horas.

Ambos
Ahora para responder la pregunta y llevar este nivel de preguntas a un círculo completo. Dirija la pregunta al virus mortal que está cambiando irrevocablemente el mundo. Porque no podemos determinar la efectividad del isótopo radiactivo. Ni la resistencia del gato. La respuesta a la pregunta sobre el bienestar del gato es que el gato está vivo y muerto. Simultáneamente. No está muerto ni está vivo. Tendríamos que abrir la caja y ver por nosotros mismos. Hasta ese momento debemos mantener ambas ideas como respuestas correctas probables.

¿Es teoría cuántica?
Fui un poco más lejos con el ejemplo del gato de Schrödinger y COVID19 con mi cliente. A nivel mundial, estamos en las cajas de Desconocidos conocidos y en la caja de Conocimientos desconocidos simultáneamente.

La amenaza para todos nosotros es el factor de no saber. ¿Podemos saber qué sucederá a lo largo del continuum entre contraer el virus o evadirlo y no enfermar? No podemos. Mirando los ejemplos de naciones como China o Italia, podemos observar la efectividad de lo que han hecho estos países. Bloquear a una nación entera y restringir el movimiento parece haber disminuido las tasas de infección. Se cree que China como país ha pasado lo peor de la crisis. Italia se acerca a la peor experiencia de la crisis: el número total de personas infectadas que mueren a causa de la enfermedad alcanza su punto máximo diario / semanal. El resto del mundo está a 2-3 semanas por detrás de Italia.

Rat-a-tat-tat
Si tuviéramos que contraer el virus, pasaríamos a las cajas de conocidos y desconocidos. Sabríamos que potencialmente podríamos sentirnos mal o estar seriamente enfermos. Es el grado de malestar lo que no sabríamos. El “qué pasaría después” tampoco quedaría claro. La incertidumbre es el punto de preocupación para las naciones en este momento. La misma preocupación también se extiende a familias e individuos en el 28 de marzo de 2020 (fecha de redacción de este artículo). Es posible que la histeria pública, el pánico y la paranoia comiencen ahora a golpear fuertemente nuestra puerta de pensamientos racionales. Si abrimos esta puerta podríamos estar acosados por muchas muchas preocupaciones.

Eleccion
Si abrimos la puerta y aceptamos el estado de desconocimiento, ¿entonces qué? Si mantenemos la puerta cerrada y nos quedamos con lo que sabemos sobre el virus, ¿sería esto mejor tanto a corto como a largo plazo?
Aquí hay dos resultados dentro de muchas otras posibilidades que podrían reducir la histeria, el pánico y la paranoia. Podríamos aprender a aceptar lo que es o negar lo que es.

El lago Matheson

Lo desconocido?
Gestionar aquello que se puede controlar es pasar a la primera caja de conocimientos conocidos (lo que sabemos que sabemos). En la cual nos sentimos cómodos y tenemos una confianza inherente en un futuro determinado. Habitar las cajas segunda, tercera y cuarta es inquietante, aterrador e invita a ideas desestabilizadoras. Estas son las cajas de lo que sabemos que desconocemos, lo que desconocemos que sabemos y lo que desconocemos que desconocemos.

Todo mejor Ahora
Buscar información en este momento puede verse como un movimiento inteligente, sin embargo, hay una avalancha de información confusa y conflictiva en este momento.

Pod Save the World comparte un nuevo podcast que proporciona una actualización quincenal sobre el Coronavirus.

Si puede, reduzca la ansiedad, reduzca el uso de las redes sociales, aíslese, distánciese socialmente cuando este fuera, coma saludablemente, mantenga la ingesta de líquidos y trate de mantener conexiones virtuales positivas con amigos y familiares.

Una cosa que es conocida, es que esta experiencia de la guerra pasará. Nuestro mundo cambiará. Debe de hacerlo. Vivir a partir de entonces, en un mundo cambiado, es el resultado del gato de Schrödinger: yacer en la última caja de lo que desconocemos que desconocemos: emocionante y sin embargo aterrador.

Abre la caja!

Recursos
Brené Brown Podcast FFT’s
Bill Gates – WWIII
Podsave The World Coronavirus Reality
Marios’ Video fwd
Netflix Pandemic
This Day in Esoteric Political History from 99% Invisible – We Have Been Here Before

Imagen
Lake Matheson Photo by Jingwei Ke on Unsplash

With thanks to my friend CV-A for the support in translating this text!

Sticking With It: Challenge

Writing short little epithets, as seen below, after completing a 10-minute meditation has been a part of my meditation practice for just over a year. After nearly 400 days of continual practice with the Calm app, I am open to continue with the learning and growing. Recognising that I have an inquisitive and restless mind has been testing. Finding a practice that reduces anxiety has been useful for me to develop a better understanding of myself. The practice of 10-15 minute meditation every day also supports maintain my focus at this challenging time of World History.

Wise words
The quote from calm that inspired this post was – ‘Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away’ by Pema Chodron.

My response
@calm ‘Noticing that challenges are made to be overcome and they are as much ‘How’ as they are ‘When’. Ask for guidance or help when needed #meditation.

To the quick
The example of the short quip above, is an effort to show that I understand the difficulty of not turning in the opposite direction. Away from the source of uncomfortable challenge. Making a fail safe leave plan when things get tough. Like now!

Healers
There is an attempt to take the quote and re-interpret Pema Chodrin’s words. I then offer both the quote and my interpretation as a support. You may have seen the quote/remix on various social media spaces I inhabit. The quote/remixes are also a way to share that, should someone want access to mental health support I know of many who could be of impactful assistance.

Challenge as a bridge

Target 400
After 395 days of consistent daily meditation practice and a solid bombardment of information about the Corona-virus/COVID-19 pandemic. My need for meditation happens to be both an escape and a cure to return the mind to a steady hum. I have found the practice to be a salve.

Reset
The hype, hysteria and hyperbole of the disease and recognisable human responses including denial, panic buying, hoarding, frequent information fly wheel gathering, does little to aid our capacity to find a level state of mindful yet calm awareness. In fact it is often quite the opposite.

How
To overcome a challenge is a request to understand what it is and how it may affect things for you, family, friends and colleagues. See the challenge as a problem to solve. Aim at becoming creative and communicate with others about what the challenge is and see if others have met/experienced a similar difficulty and what they did? Rarely are you the only person to have faced a problem like it. Accepting advice could be an appropriate way to make it to the other side.

When
That can all depend on you. Running away from the challenge usually puts the difficulty off for an undefined length of time. But, it will return. It usually is an universal phenomena. ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ was a saying my mum would say to me. Possibly her mum may have said it to her too when she was in her teens.

Train
It would be understandable to remove yourself from a challenge for a short time, build up the necessary skills, strength, understanding and then return and overcome said problem.

Result
The outcome for getting beyond the difficulty is the learning we gain from doing so. Being a life-long learner and a perpetual student of life supports growing past false limitations, possibly put in place by others. Apply understanding and continue honing, growing and improving. I believe growing after facing adversity is one of the best achievements of our lives. Becoming a therapist is a part of that story for me, but so is becoming a father, supervisor, lecturer, writer

Resources
Tom Bilyeu Impact Theory: Agent Smith
Science of Success with Jim Kwik

Images
Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash
Photo by Chinh Le Duc on Unsplash

Insidious Insight

Rather than fighting when repeatedly attacked I like to write. Here my assailants can be imaginatively deposed…

The peck, peck, pecking,
Had to stop.
The bird had to die, or
Fly. I made it
Flee. Feathers scattered
Like leaves

Behind it’s behind.
The dust it kicked up,
The mess it left.
Reluctantly I picked
At, kissing teeth
Wanting to give chase!

Make sure it left, or
Died bloody.
Sometimes bloody is
What the Leghorn
Knows. Head cocked sideways
Cocky confident.

Airless, knowing less
Every passing day.
I should have chased
Him, made sure he’d
Gone away – dead.
Bad feelings stirred.

Can’t shake them loose!
Stupid goose, silly
Rabbit, crazy
Chicken.

What’s left, are little
Eggs, that can’t be
Seen, felt nor found.
But grow and sap
Strength, from all
Wounded nouns.

Invisibly unlike
Chinese knot weed!
A vine that kills
Everything bound.
Strangling for air,
I wish we never

Met, because your
Depravity eats inside
Of me, like seeds,
From a rotting flower.
Infected my story.
Illuminating what psychology

Can not undo.
The persistent pecking,
From a past riddled
With you
Inside of it.
With lies told.

Continuously, confusingly,
Laboriously splitting,
Futures infinitely.
Denying freshness
Chance to break
In and free…

And look at,
Us, You, her, them.
A quickening,
Insanity installation.
Ruins the light

Again

Resources
Criminal Call Russ Ewing

Images
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash