Something Other: NHS

The experience with the charity was painfully inspirational and set me up with a want to build a communal space for Black and Asian mental health professionals. Meeting Frank Lowe in the summer of 2019 moved the want aspect into a need. I will investigate what causes a need for a space that I and marginalised others could feel comfortable in below.

Diversity Space
Kent prisons offered a useful sidestep from the set of challenges I contended with as a project manager at the charity. As the lead counsellor for the Kent cluster of prisons I held onto hope for a number of new experiences. Meeting the No. 1 governor at the beginning of my time at one of the six prisons I was to oversee, encouraged me to believe in change as a possibility. The number one governor appeared approachable, a good listener and socially aware of the setting of the jail and the over representation of young Black men detained at the prison. The governor was clear that the concerned focus on ne’er do well’s, sent to prison was a societal/political/educational issue if we widened the lens.

Diversity Thinking Spaces Call To Act

One Amongst Many
In the second year of managing 6 prisons, alongside 3 other Black and Asian staff, we started and implemented the Diversity Space. There was something I found hard to metabolise, voice, and process about being a Black male lead counsellor managing a mostly White staff team across 6 prisons. The diversity space gave me chance to lay down the shields, masks, double consciousness I walked along every corridor with, into every room carrying, all meetings attended, most telephone conversations and only a few counselling interactions. As Code Switch’s ‘This Racism Is Killing Me on The Inside’ link in last week’s post highlights, the effect of being discriminated against wears the recipient down.

The Need
I have previously highlighted that walking whilst Black in the 21st century is a different experience than living and walking whilst Black in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries. Working in prison as a person of proposed seniority, with legitimate reasons for being a key carrying member of staff offers a number of challenges for both uniform and detained persons in prison. There were concerned looks by prison staff as I appeared from behind a previous locked door. These concerned looks intensified from staff when I began walking the corridors with a cane to assist my slow MS labored progress. Persons in prison treated me as an anomaly. Visibly disabled and Black, not uniformed, hobbling about with a cane. ‘He must be one of us then’ seemed to be the consensus. I was once asked by a person in prison where he could get a cane like mine? He and I weeks later laughed once he realised that I was staff. I needed a space where I could process these mal formed moments, vent my frustrations amongst a room of people who yes resembled me in some way, but also understood what walking, breathing, living as an othered person was like.

A Message to The Battle Weary

Beginning
Starting Diversity Space I wanted a safe space in a prison more than once a month! The irony is not lost. As a member of staff there was something either confusing, discombobulating and often discomforting about being a Black free person working in prison. The team that I supported did their best to accommodate and support me. The practicals of getting the computers to work, or using the telephone system, and finding various cell blocks or locations of colleagues the team excelled at. The deeper learning of moving amongst a populace of staff who had rarely interacted with a Black man, other than in prison was a gap perhaps too great to fathom.

Tresspass
I did not share my frequent observations, experiences and worrisome times of being treated as an other. For instance, my first day at one of the prisons, a member of the psychology team almost with eyes of unpleasant surprise wanted to loudly proclaim but stilled their tongue ‘you can’t come in here!’ as I entered the counselling and psychology office. The hastily dropped assessment may have been that a Black prisoner was entering a protected ‘White’ space. The topics of race, class and poverty were often left overlooked. They unspoken barbs of information perfuming an already laden atmosphere. An undercurrent of fear lurked in every corner. The social subjects of othering people too large to appropriately be dissolved in any singular discussion. I felt that my presence in prison was a question some could not find a fitting answer to. As a result I was often left reeling from acts from staff that limited the aim I had of wanting to improve circumstances for persons in prison and staff that cared for them. Diversity Space offered a balm. Similar to my experience to BAATN I felt appreciated, seen, heard and understood once the group began.

Community and Sharing Feels Thus

Underestimate
When a group of like-minded individuals begin a project that ultimately is used as a tool to hold themselves together within a hostile environment. Violent uprisings can be an outcome, however, the gatherings are usually fertile ground to develop ideas that disrupt and destroy the psychological hold power structures like White supremacy maintain. The aim – to move the needle – the axis of control – away from oppressors. Generally, the idea of coming together is to be of support, to listen, to share stories, to laugh uproariously and to find ways of managing an intolerable set of circumstances whilst not losing one’s mind. The empathic embodied understanding received by fellow colleagues, was one of the best and most fitting outcomes the group offered me, a Black member of staff working across 6 prisons in Kent. I no longer walked the corridors alone. There is an implicit confidence that a person with knowledge strides with. I walked the prisons, as if carried by an unseen army/team beside and around me. I had a special group of psychologically and sociologically trained Black and Asian professionals that were in the Strange Situation with me.

Thinking Space
I met Frank Lowe as he delivered training on Decolonizing Psychotherapy in Bexley, South East London. The event changed something in me. I felt Frank largely presented his truth as a catalyst for change to be made amongst attendant staff groups. Frank highlighted the need for change fundamentally within the NHS and specifically within psychological professions. Last weeks blog pointed at the ‘over and under representation’ aspect that engulfs the delivery and receipt of care in the National Health Service. During the training, I boiled over when a senior (PMSF) psychologist suggested that we are all racist. In essence they were correct. Growing up in a racist, financially oppressive, sexist, classist, homophobic, ableist society is going to have a deleterious effect. My position was that the likelihood of being stopped searched and unlawlfully killed by police was less likely for them and unfortunately more an eventuality for me. This the summer before the murders of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. Before Corona Virus Disease 2019 permanently rearranged our planet. Frank during the lunch break pulled me to one side and offered his wise understanding. His advice ‘Do something that changes the dynamic for you and those who look like you. Don’t stop until the environment, your environment, that you work in feels good with you in it.’ He thanked me for my honesty and challenging what was left ‘unsaid’ to be heard. I exited the training with the germ of a concept burning away until we turned DS into a reality. I was only too happy to share with a few others and start something called the Diversity Space in October 2019. I would like to also thank my then manager who recognised a need for Black and Asian professionals to meet outside of the ‘White gaze’. There is a history of health services taking time, energy, health, family, money, opportunity, choice, friendships, promotions away from those who toil endlessly within it’s substrate structures as ‘othered’ people, and offer little to compensate for multiple losses. The idea was to find a community within a community and our way to health.

Continuance
A part two will follow taking in the steps of how we developed a singular focus – focus group. An impossibility as there are too many foci…

Resources
I came across the Mary D Ainsworth Strange Situation whilst attending my counselling training. I use the term strange situation to show how being in a prison as a Black civilian was seen as strange. Often by those who looked upon me and by my awareness of those who looked at me – askance. Double consciousness 101.
Robert Glasper’s Got Over artfully uses the voice of Harry Belafonte to resonantly express the arc of his career and his lived experience of being an outsider and othered. The request is to recognise achievement no matter the obstacle.
Gabor Maté and Resmaa Manekem share a beautiful conversation. These two pioneers at the top of their fields having an equally empowering conversation about Race, difference and learning to survive the discomfort. Thank you Kwame Opoku for the share!
The Unlocking us Podcast with Brené Brown and Esther Perel, two women at the height of their respective powers – highlight the need for all of us to be aware of Thanatos and Eros. What we lose by not being aware of the death of the other both actual and metaphorical. What can be gained as we dance, play and experience the erotic is also wonderfully unpacked.
Rohan Thompson of Breakthrough Counselling and Wellness talks with Isaac Callan about a report that impacts staff in the district of Peel Ontario. Rohan discusses the beyond intimate labor from a Black union that caused the report to make a significant impact. The link for me in relation to the podcast and the NHS is how a minority group observing and experiencing a racist system leans into their own discomfort and articulates what steps are to be taken to bring about necessary changes.
The Am I Going Mad series of YouTube documentaries invites us to observe the challenge of being Black in the world, contending with racist thought belief and actions from the societies we live in.
With This American Life I felt the title was a useful frame to begin looking at what has been built within a system of hate and what else could exist once the towering edifice cracks, crumbles and falls into dust?
Got Over Robert Glasper and Harry Belafonte
The Wisdom of Trauma with Gabor Maté and Resmaa Manekem
Unlocking Us podcast Brené Brown and Esther Perel
What’s The Point Management of child welfare in turmoil
Am I Going Mad Are All Men Created Equal
This American Life Made To Be Broken

Images
Cover photo by Andy Holmes on Unsplash
We Welcome photo by Brittani Burns on Unsplash
Survive Hoodie photo by sham abdo on Unsplash
Young Men Laughing photo by Siviwe Kapteyn on Unsplash

3 Lions

The blog below concerns the many losses that occurred after the European Cup Final in 2021. If vicarious trauma can offer something of use, it would be to remember the steps to remain safe, aware and empowered.

Hurt Magnified
The violence witnessed via news sources at Wembly Stadium on the night of England’s defeat last month, came as a chafenning. The thousands that spilled out from the stadium causing uproar and wanton destruction on the streets of London was indicative of a hurt people hurting, that don’t realise that they are hurting and expel their hurt on to others. It pained me to see these esteemed set of players fall foul after an epic game of many ups and a few downs. The following piece of writing is an attempt at exposition.

FFS
I wonder a few thoughts here: Would an emotionally intelligent person/people act in ways that cause further emotional or physical distress and harm to others? What device could invite pause, for those who are hurting? Acting out in childish and outlandish ways is an errant choice. Could other creative means be employed to expel disappointment? My feelings of let down and frustration by the end result of England not winning the European championship made me look at future goals. There is a sense of inevitability rather than hopelessness. I was also able to recognise and hold onto the numerous successes the whole team had achieved. Mostly of briefly unifying a multi-cultural society as England soared through the group stages and made it to the quarterfinals, the semifinals and then on to the finals.

On Repeat
What I am left questioning is, if English football fans and supporters witness their team’s defeat again, will further racist, vindictive showings of abuse and violence, that appears mindless, again fill time in national and international media? My guess is that yes, there is a high probability the sensationalist press will. Filling time and news print. Unable and unwilling to offer themselves or the public a vulnerable introspective or reflective persective, but the regular, standardised rote stories of old. Stories that continue the divisive ‘us’ and ‘them’ rhetoric. ‘British football fans are as brutish and as problematic as they were in the 80’s.’ The press may report.

Systemic
Attempts at Kicking Racism out of football have continually been made however, if the structure upon which the beautiful game was first built and then is played upon: Historical legacy, Politics and Governmental Policy, Sports Journalism and sports infrastructure, Education, Law, Policing, Prison, Healthcare, Social Care, continue to hold and perpetually consume racist thought, beliefs and decisions, can supporters of the England football team be any less racist? Can racism be kicked out? The beautiful game is an idyll. Similar to many human ideals. Football and sport overall arises from humanity’s basal, primal needs. Aspiring towards something greater, the outright good for all.

Islander

Blame You
The fans are not the team. The fans are representative of a dormant underbelly. The seemingly over patriotic fans are of a settler refugee people that were war strewn and savaged historically by numerous conquests. What has been left? A residue amongst the psyche, an islander who feels vitriolic and triggered by any seeming slight gain at its shores. The national psyche will even dispel and violently attack any that is classed as other, and hold them to account for its own failings. This is a trauma response. This is a way to cognitively separate self from perceived harm that may be real or imagined. My question mostly is about the right some explicitly feel they have, to publicly disown fellow islanders. Is this lord of the flies on repeat?

Origin Story
It is undeniable that the 3 members of the team missed their penalties. It is also undeniable that these players origins hail from communities that lie beyond English shores. Do these two facts make these football players any less English because of their families place of birth or because of where their parents or grandparents grew up? A few years ago (11 if we want to split infinitives) I had a similar discussion with a psychotherapist from Germany. She argued that some people in her country were not really German. Primarily because of where their grandparents or parents were from. My argument was, if these immigrants spoke German, were educated in German schools and colleges, held a passport or other form of I.D. that identified them as German, they were in all manner of speaking as germane as she was. Lineage and history are something to be aware of, but are not tombstones upon which any country can claim who is to be classed amongst or dismissed as alien. Her argument was largely levelled against Turkish immigrants, who have suffered similar persecutions as visible minorities in the UK, Europe, North, Central and South America. A historical genealogy would show that there are more intersections of similarity amongst a nation state than there are aspects that separate citizens. Belonging is a matter of perspective.

Trauma Response
What I am left with is when we are quick to anger and disappointment, we stop existing in our thinking rational human minds and enter a primitive brain system. A similar disordered thinking pattern happens too, when we are triggered by traumatic memory or experiencing trauma. Our pre-frontal cortex goes off-line and we enter a way of being that is operant on survival instincts. We flee, fight, freeze, or friend with an aggressor. The applied psychology for me here, is if we observe the furore of English football fans snarling and lashing out against a perceived threat, we could ascribe these actions to a fight response. Quick to anger is a trauma response too, involving perceived ideas and experiences of defeat, destruction and death.

Industrialisation pictured

Result
How some choose to discharge these feelings without further processing are to attack either verbally or physically all who are potentially a threat. With vitriolic and seemingly patriotic missiles thrown against those who appear obviously different. On Sunday the 11th of July 2021, fans threw barbs, fists and feet at Italian football fans wearing the Italian football team’s colours. The 3 English football players that brought about England’s defeat received racist abuse. Physically they could not be attacked. Mentally, psychologically they could.

The loss of the game, which on that night appeared not to be tolerated, accepted or predicted. The fans caught on camera and fans who wrote horrible messages online, seem not to be able to subsume loss without personal affect. It would appear that the subsidence of adrenalin and endorphin coursing through blood streams moments before the first English missed penalty caused hearts to stop. The stress hormone cortisol that possibly swamped an uncountable number of bodies and minds, worked it’s alarming panic. Can our human minds make sudden hormonal and emotional changes without veering towards the unthink of the wounded? The reasoning may be because, learning of loss and defeat are also a part of living a full and complicated life. Enduring a football match of such importance may not have been readily appreciated, by a triggered few. Once traumatised – one’s thinking can be altered and may not allow for thinking that involves *greydom. It is either Black or it is White. We run or we fight. Simple. Ultimately we stay alive!

Make Sport, Not War
The difficulty I have with the trauma responses at the defeat of England’s football team, or the unthink of trauma reactions by fans, are there was no war, only sport. The beautiful game became sullied with wants of victory that were pulled from grasp at seemingly an intolerable moment. Thereby causing a rupture into basal behaviour and non thinking actions. That has lead to hysteria, harm as well as over-hyped expectations being dashed. Leading to wanton damage. Trumpism on a national scale. It is like the idea of a White offensive nationalism overriding and overtaking a largely positive muti-cultural and encouraging experience. What was shared and possibly would be best to be later processed, are trauma words that then potentially traumatise many others.

Marriage
For a misremembered history to be made factual, a mislabeled past is to be believed above and over the data that invites doubt that the evidence is false. The UK and England suffered invasion, repeatedly from nation states as far afield as Scandinavia, Spain and Italy. The French and the Dutch were also interlopers despoiling ransacking and plundering the island as they saw fit. The point of my historic meanderings is to observe what defences an Island Nation can install. The UK could invest in fleets of ships to defend it’s shores. An island Nation can use intellectual defenses like cognitive dissonance to deny what it has seen, heard and felt. A nation can make allyship and appeal to powers greater than itself to keep it’s sovereign soil free from further invasion. The UK has engaged in all manner of similar actions mentioned above, but the nation and the minds of it’s citizens are still yet to heal from previous historic wounds. The UK has spread them, like a polygamous intimate violent partner whose tools of hurt are psychological, physical, sexual, emotional, financial and emotional – Slavery, Indentured labour, Colonialism, Capitalism.

Equal and yet

All Past
These forms of abuse listed afore, were visited upon the Island nation and once the UK and England became a global controlling behemoth, it too became like it’s former oppressors: abusive, controlling, violent, as insidious and vindictive as the harms suffered in the past. Contorting to a new form of divisive control amongst the UK’s global subjects that included industrialisation, economic disparity, wealth acquisition and dominion over through Colonialism. There are ghosts in the shell that will not acknowledge that a past as challenging and as damaging would have left a people battle scarred and lithe to violence and harm at the smallest infraction or insult. A football game can now be seen as an act of revenge and just desserts that underline a trauma response from a formerly traumatised people who then exact their experiences upon others. It is Israel and Palestine. It is Spain’s assault of Central and South America after the Moors 800 year conquest leaving architecture, religion, science, and libraries. It is Europe’s global treasure seeking exploration into Africa, Asia, North, Central and Southern America and the greater Pacific Islands of Papua New Guinea, Austrialia and New Zealand. An unjustified, unequal exchange offering only barbarianism over civility.

Defy
I am left with:

A little more humour,
Some semblance of understanding,
A degree more compassion for
Hurt people who then go on to hurt others.

There is cause, and there are possible outcomes and effects. With a psychotherapists scalpel to hand, supporting the necessary surgery and bleeding away with uncompromising words…

Asé

Resources
The resources shared below are in order to support reflective thinking in relation to the above post. The aim is to in one small part share knowledge and engage with ideas that interrupt miss interpreted notions of good Black, bad White.
Kicking Racism out of Football a sliding doors YouTube moment where one error filled choice, potentially leads to dire consequences.
Howard Nicholas discuses in a clear way the Zero Sum game Western countries, their policies and practices have prevented the development of Sub Saharan Africa.
Ghost in the Shell offers a rapid overview of the 1995 Manga classic. Where knowledge and doubt are used to coerce a number of outcomes for a number of protagonists/antagonists.
Joy DeGruy explains her idea of Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome and how the behaviour is presented as, for Black communities in the African Diaspora. I use Joy DeGruy’s position on PTSS as a pin to spin the idea of the UK’s self perceived greatness to it’s conquered and defeated past, and what effects it’s citizens are unknowingly carrying.
Akala is possibly one of the most electrifying thought leaders the world has in relation to race theory, critical analysis and culture. In 2016 he shares his ideas about Institutionalised racism. I wonder what has changed since 2016?
Gary Neville offers his understanding of England’s defeat and racist outrage with understanding and compassion.
Anna Edwards writes a short article on the book Fortress Britain by Ian Hernon. Anna also shares in the article the list of the many countries that the UK later despoiled is another factor to be contended with.

Joy DeGruy Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome
Akala explains Institutionalised Racism
Gary Neville interview on England’s Defeat Sky Sports
False Notions of Britain – Daily Mail

Images
Cover photo Football Pitch by Izuddin Helmi Adnan on Unsplash
1st photo inlay of 4 Islands by Ahmed Yaaniu on Unsplash
2nd photo inlay of Industrialisation by Ant Rozetsky on Unsplash
3rd photo inlay of 2 Knights embattled by Hassan Pasha on Unsplash

You: Sociopath

Astonishment
I have been amazed at the fact that I am transfixed by the Netflix show called YOU, his lies, his abilities to deceive and manipulate his way into peoples lives astounds me. The story telling and artful portrayal of Joe Goldberg is an introduction to the layering of an unwell man, that believes that he is, well – well.

Endings
The first season was complete hedenonism and I allowed myself to be swept up in the mire of Guinevere Beck and Joe’s “love affair” that ended shockingly in season 1.

Currents
The second season I find myself trying hard to swim against the current of liking Joe. Of not wanting him to win, steal, cheat, lie. Kill. But he does and I am amazed and happy and appalled by my want to see him suffer, be caught, found out, be brought to justice and then he is not and I am relieved and dismayed at myself for enjoying his escape.

Adoration Amiss
This is bad love. This is the love of the ill and the confused. This is the love often given or showered upon a narcissist or sociopath/psychopath. This love is wrong on so many levels but there I go, mesmerised with the allure of LA sun and youngish people living their best sordid lives. Pure unalterable, unabashed fantasy.

Familiarity
This is sociopathy. This is personality disordered contortion. The hook for me is the overlaying of the voiceover. The quick, witty, aware commentary. It sort of makes it okay. Smoothies over the roughness. This voice is similar to the ‘always on voice’ of mine in my head. I would hazard a guess that this voice is similar to the voice in your head too. It, the voice in our heads, is the entertainment. The doubter, the proof reader, truth seeker, worrier. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without hearing it?

Surprised recognition
Here in is where the clever thing about the show YOU lies. Hidden but omnipresent. Fixed like the ground beneath our feet but almost invisible because we do not notice that we walk across it, The ground holds us all up.

The voice in Joe’s head provides us with a commentary of all that happens and is happening. The dry, clever awareness of Joe is something we have heard before. He the voice is like our own. For me, this truth is the one that stands ahead of everything else about the show. We recognise them (the voice) as ours and are left wanting and loathing them him and us.

Love be gentle and also confusing on a car hood, resembling a puddle capturing the sky.
A puddle shaped heart

Before
It is a madness (confusing, intoxicating) how YOU can be so enticing! Watch on and be as appalled and as amazed as I have been.

The Wonder Years with Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper held something similar and as recognisable as did Dawson’s Creek’s teenage *philosophizings and posturings or similarly in Everybody Hates Chris with Chris Rock’s commentary. The voice over offers something more alluring.

The 3 shows listed above offered a running discourse that held the viewer wrapped up in both on and off screen musings. Whilst continuing the story in ones own mind well after the TV has been turned off. Another Netflix show that occupied precious cerebellum space, for me, was House of Cards for similar reasons listed here.

Inside Man
The last point I will raise is that the infection, my infection has to be passed on. Like an advert for stopping the spread of something harmful, and doing the opposite! I find myself speaking about the show. Defying my own sensibilities. Deftly displaying how I have been lured in to classifying Joe as disaffected and altered. Thus labelling myself just so.

I had not realised that I was spreading the harm by finding others to discuss the show with, is in itself an alarming, ludicrous and an insidious act. I should be offering warnings: Get out now if you can. Don’t continue to watch. Avoid YOU at all costs!

The cleverness is that you don’t realise how involved you are until it’s too late. Oh the characters themselves warn you. “You’re a sociopath! Is that it?” Says Love. Yes we scream he is! But do we then stop watching? No. We remain as if hypnotised because he is I, and I, is You and that is truly

unbelievably

amazing!

Resources
Sociopath meet Empath
7 Reasons to Watch You
10 Reasons to give up on TV
Have You Heard George’s Podcast ep 6

Images
Photo Erik Witsoe@ewitsoe on Unsplash
Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

REFLECTION Reviewed pt 2

Pain
The pain of being held accountable,
of being made to feel perpetually wrong,
of shame and embarrassment,
of being made vulnerable and seen as weak or lesser than,
is a fear
for a person who may have narcissistic traits
to hold on to their distortion
that little bit harder and for far longer.
Than is healthy/necessary
The threat of being made small again is too great.

Because once, a few years ago, perhaps when they were infants they had been made to feel all of the above by valued loved ones, friends, teachers, frenemies.
So they, Narcissus, erected a wall. Keeping all the bad out and locking in all they perceived as good.

Tactics like division, fear and threatening behaviours are used to enable self-aggrandizement and remain with a sense of strength (Omnipotence), being right, whole, good, beautiful and powerful, employed at other people’s expense and often their suffering.

The right of Narcissus’.

Hand Holding Crystal Ball

Narcissistic personality?
Narcissism produces a distorted self-image, an oversized ego, and a presumption of superiority not based on any real-world accomplishments. Narcissists reveal their feelings about themselves and others through their actions, which are often manipulative and self-centered. Despite the depth of feeling narcissism generates, and the deep-seated insecurity it compensates for, people diagnosed with severe narcissism (narcissistic personality disorder) can learn to manage humanity, their symptoms, and reduce the disorder’s influence over their lives. That is if they recognise that change is beneficial.

This is a BIG if…

Past
Narcissus may have had a number of experiences that threw their idea of self and the world in which they live into disarray at an earlier developmental age.

Experiences such as loss through bereavement or loss of home, war, poor relationships with caregivers, poverty, bullying, emotional neglect could support the development of narcissistic traits. The personhood of Narcissus may have been negatively affected by the environment that they were raised in.

Developing traits that support a positive view of themselves always, and a lesser view of anyone and everyone else around them. Projecting a view of all that hurt them, into and onto all others and everything else in between helps to protect a fragile self. The act of denying others their humanity and not recognising their own robs Narcissus of intimate contact with another/others.

Therefore Narcissus can remain perfect and invulnerable: Always.

Gas Lighting
The term gaslight was coined after the 1944 film of the same name. Gaslighting is a tactic in which a person or entity, in order to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works much better than you may think. Anyone is susceptible to gaslighting, and it is a common technique of abusers, dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done slowly, so the victim doesn’t realize how much they’ve been brainwashed. In the movie, a man manipulates his wife to the point where she thinks she is losing her mind. Illustrating the destructive power of gaslighting.

Gas Mask at Altitude
Due to the human capacity for finding purpose and wanting to support others to attain fulfilment and happiness it often occurs that partners, family, friends and colleagues often want to rescue a person that appears to have narcissistic traits. The joke of how many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb fits here. “Ah but the light bulb has got to want change.” For any person engaging in therapy they must see the benefits of change. For someone with narcissistic traits if the problem is with all others then there is nothing to talk about and nothing that therapy can offer… Until…

Resources
Gaslighting – Two Guys on Your Head
Understanding the Mind of Narcissus

Cover Photo Serrah Galos@serrah Unsplash
Crystal Ball Dawid Zawiła@davealmine Unsplash