Reps.

To build muscle one needs to put the reps (repetitions) in. So shared by various online fitness enthusiasts, coaches, trainers, physios. Even Ms. Snow, my friend the personal trainer (PT) advised. A daily core practice would support me in all I do now and later in life. I sought Ms. Snow’s advice to help me with the depleting effects of MS. To build strength, conditioning, discipline the same could also be true. One is to repetitively – with purposeful engagement put in the reps. I wonder what then of empathy, cultural competence, listening and compassion?

Observed Reflection

And So What?
For me last month’s post re. The Completion Compulsion supported ideas of just because something has begun, does it mean it has to end in its usual fashion? The ongoing war in Ukraine, the conflicts in relation to Black Lives Matter, Me Too, the proposed ideological conspiracy of the Great Replacement Theory, the impending world grain shortages, possibilities of an economic recession, a world at war and ecological upheaval destabilise a sense of normalcy. Reality was never predictable even if the human animal has attempted to make it so.

Pardon?
A slower more complicated understanding of both global and provincial challenges would be to appreciate that there may only be one problem that can be solved. Once complete, we can then move on to the next. I am mindful that we all probably aren’t asking as many questions to determine what the problem should be defined as. Einstein is reported to have said, ‘if given an hour to solve a problem he would spend 55 minutes asking questions to thoroughly understand the challenge in front of him.’

Mono-Windowed Doors

Rush
From the war in Ukraine, the recent massacres in Buffalo, Texas, and Nigeria the human animal seems to be at odds with itself. ‘Finger pointing’ does little to answer these questions a client said to me recently. To resolve the many deaths, the overwhelming sense of being lost, or of being on a runaway train without a driver and crew. Much like the Pandemic we are all very much ‘in it’ with little chance of escape. Let’s begin asking questions, not necessarily to only find solution, but also to raise our capacity for critical thought and to claim responsibility for what we do next.

Silk Road
The fraying fabric of our now has brought to our beleaguered attention spans the onslaught of gross upheaval, change and uncertainty. The concept of a repetitive exercise – to improve the human capacity to remain outside of chaos and stay in contact with our collective realities is the charge I am levelling here. Can we? Has the march towards the end of civilisation as we know it, begun?

Holding Pattern

Backing Out
I am mindful of the work of Resmaa Menakem and his assertion that whilst we attend to the heavy lifting of deep psychological spiritual restructuring, he also advises that we stop when the work gets too much. He is famous for saying “Pause, just pause, notice the charge and back out of it. Come back to it when you feel you can manage…” The completion compulsion installed in many, invites us to run through the experience of whatever the pain, shame, blame may be so we can arrive at ‘reframe’. The reframing is the prize promise held out for us after surviving the assault course of paying attention to what ails. Talking about or allowing the body to somatically process and release the pain is what Resmaa is advising. If not today, then at some other time when one is capable of managing the charge. Once one has built up enough strength to withstand the labour of what the charge presents. We survive, we heal and we grow.

Drawing Parallels
10 minutes can be enough to suggest both the satisfaction of annihilation and understanding existence anew. The first episode of Love Death + Robots I watched, called Zima Blue, presents an interesting take on a new, yet old story. If humanity had a search for meaning, that resulted in arriving at as straightforward a solution as the protagonist Zima does in this Netflix show, perhaps many of our protests about living and dieing the way that we currently are, would be less torturous. Simply, we are no more or less important than pollen, dust, a water droplet, sand, microbes or subatomic particles. Yes we have sentience, morals, laws, science, philosophy, religion, art. How do we know that sand, like sub atomic particles does not have intelligence? Sand is able to find it’s way into food, homes and machine parts uninvited isn’t it? How is this so? Like sand we also have an incalculable ability to find ourselves in perilous circumstances with an always present entropy. How intelligent/sentient are we to have both the ability to creatively build and yet also to completely destroy?

Real Imaginings

Flex
Putting in the work of building up our ability to remain safe and conscious takes time, practice, resourcing, awareness and a team of committed individuals to support what is unearthed to be integrated, left or discarded. There is no specific end point, only a continual learning, implementing, contracting and expanding. Much like a muscle, strength is maintained as long as the practice is continued and consistent. The reason for the effort is to improve outcomes for the many that perhaps have little or lack resources, or voice. Perhaps the voiceless show through action that every decision made has a direct consequence that impacts upon us in the now and definitely will in the future: Beached whales, birds dieing from plastic consumption, fertile land loss, mudslides, millions of hectares of arable land ablaze, centuries old glaciers collapsing and shrinking…

Vigil
In May I attended a candlelight vigil for the massacre in Buffalo. The event was arranged by the leader of ACCA and the youth development co-ordinator Evelyn Myrie and Talibah Howard. The mood sombre. The need for a public show of support and community display of solidarity was met appropriately. I mentioned during my talk that since Rodney King’s, attack over 20 years ago, I have been numb. The idea was shared amongst peers for a True Roots discussion on the 2nd year anniversary of George Floyd’s murder. I believe grieving can have a similar effect. As Lama Rod Owen suggests below, continuing the journey out of the numbness, into a broken hearted state. I feel resourced and ready to build the muscles by putting in the reps. At the horizon, where sky meets earth: answers.

Knowledge Captured Rainbow

Simply Because
The aim is to do better with the tools and knowledge available to us and make changes in the systems of education, finance, money management, manufacturing, waste disposal and looking after the whole of life as if our lives depend on it.
Because we do!

If we don’t put the reps in we won’t have the chance of ever arriving…

Resources
Steve Rose’s article in the Guardian was interesting for what has been misrepresented as the ‘truth’ in relation to Black Brown and white lives in conflict for access to live as equitably as possible.
Philip Hoare writes about the research on whales and dolphins beaching themselves. Initially I thought that whales beached themselves due to illness caused by digesting plastic waste. The article dispels my basic awareness.
Jaymi Heimbuch Photographer, conservationist shares their story about the tragic impact of plastic waste on the environment. They list 9 steps to reduce plastic waste in seas and land fills.
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Lori Santos and Arianna Huffington exquisitely explores the misunderstanding we have about rest, sleep, restoration and vitality. Going slower, doing less, concentrating on 1 or 2 tasks does not make us lazy or slow. Possibly focussing on a small number of projects, having the energy to complete them helps us feel satisfied. Sleeping is a conduit to living well. The Link here takes you to the site of the Nap Ministry. Listening to this episode of the Happiness Lab reminded me of the industrial revolution and the idea of being a wheel in an international production machine. The nap ministry introduces another way to make use of and access work.
The Other Front Lines from This American Life invites us to observe conflict in Ukraine from a number of perspectives. Resistance and survival appear different to various communities in Ukraine.
Prentis Hemphill interviews Lama Rod Owens about our misunderstanding of anger, and the emotion’s misuse, mislabelling and what we can do once anger gives way to something more.
Brené Brown on Unlocking Us contends with the difficult experience of the epoch we are in and what will be experienced, lost and eventually realised. I enjoyed Brené Brown discussing the insurrection at the Capitol Building in 2021 and what may be inferred from the show of avarice and hubris.
Guilane Kinouani and Eugene Ellis discuss their books and their encounters writing about race as psychotherapists, living whilst Black and what the journey ahead entails.
The Happiness Lab BONUS: Sleep When You’re Dead Tired (LIVE with Arianna Huffington)
This American Life The Other Front Lines Ukraine stories
Finding Our Way Prentis Hemphill and Lama Rod Owens Radical Anger
Brené Brown Unlocking Us Words, Dehumanization, Accountability
Therapy Today: The Big Interview with Guilane Kinouani and Eugene Ellis

Images
Theme: Repetition
Reps Man photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash
Reflection Advice photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Grey Windows photo by Rob Wingate on Unsplash
Nuts and Bolts photo by Nadine Marfurt on Unsplash
Frames photo by Parrish Freeman on Unsplash
Rainbow Books photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Certainty: Beachcombing

‘To know that at our core there is a knowing, resourced, patient, wise, unbroken peace that lies awaiting rediscovery – the truest magic. The reason to search…’ M.O.

The interesting thing about the psychotherapist is that ‘they’ often cannot tell of what they do behind their closed doors. It mostly is clarifying talk between counsellor and client. A conversation unlike other noise making conversations. The information held between them is confidential. The psychotherapist can speak about process, the results of the work, the deep hole either avoided or climbed safely beyond. This is one of those types of stories.

List
There are a few reasons I wanted to write this piece. My ongoing fight with MS, the war in Ukraine, CoViD19 and living while Black. The current uncertainty of life appears to have increased an awareness of the sense of the known/unknown. A few nights ago, I thought about the possibility of the next global conflict, detonations and an ensuing Nuclear Winter. Sleep evaded me as a result of spinal discomfort, an outcome of the slow creep of Multiple Sclerosis.

Discovery: Herein

Hiding
Discovery often takes place when one is looking for something else. The long-hidden coin, key set, file, ear ring, and memory, often are found whilst excavating randomly. Almost like the item was waiting for you to venture along this path. Jumping out and surprising! The interesting thing about certainty and beachcombing is what is found. Something is always found! The ‘what’ remains a mystery until discovery.

Modelling
A few years ago I wrote about a few of the mental models a counsellor/psychotherapist may use to support clients. These models offer both in the relationship, a frame with which to make the dance of support, seem regular, measured, predictable. Anything at any moment can usurp a care planned recovery. The mythic return to the ‘normal’. Most of the time, the complex and intimate nature of the counselling relationship, can wrestle a surprising memory or event from sabotaging the ground already made. The memory used to germinate understanding, the processes covered and the journey that lies ahead.

Tanktown
Beachcombing is a mix of imagination and discovery. The analogy used to support both of us as we walk across ‘their’ ‘our’ joint landscape. For me, it is a pebble beach. Like many around the world such as Brighton, or Tankerton. Beaches I used to visit, with friends and later with family. Now these beaches are mind wanderings, used to explore what the ever-active mind of my fellow beachcomber brings to shore. The most surprising find ‘mindfully’ beachcombing with a client, was a netted live WWII sea mine. Current global crises afloat in our subconscious.

Close Up: Pebble face

Inside Out
The rankling honesty of the current war in Ukraine – upsetting the idea of peace globally, presents us with the uncomfortable. Some profit from upset, others perish. Can we as a species continue to externalise the fight within, the paradox of being human, without facing dire consequences? The war within looks at all we throw amongst the shadow and stride knowingly away from: Shame, failure, contempt, weakness, anger, fear, loneliness, hate. Remaining in a state of uncertainty is to engage with continual discovery and loss – Beachcombing. Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown, uncovers more of our emotions in a clear, earnest and relatable way. Atlas of the Heart supports us to understand ourselves more and with courage, congruence and compassion take the hidden into the light.

Wherever You Go
Living in a body of culture, as a Black man, the uncertainty of further experiences of vicarious trauma visiting are constant. The global dominance of Western culture has continued to be called into question, thankfully. Before Breonna Taylor’s and George Floyd’s murders, uncountable attempts were offered by many to re-course, the river of assumed White body supremacy. The West evaluating, assessing, characterising art, science, faith as pagan, primitive, tribal, with no value, demeaned the Global North also. Traditions long practiced, new to the West’s limited understanding (the enlightenment era) of the planet and the people’s living in the global South. In an attempt to silence and squash uncertainty, millions lost their lives to conquest and land theft. Many more, descendents: rebuilding, reclaiming, restoring.

Dumbfounded
The pandemic has outlived most projections of how long it ’should’ last. Has the reality of what we are still globally lurching through, begun to reawaken our sense of wonder, fear, and an awareness of how small and powerless we are? 20th/21st century humans, somewhat knowledgeable and yet also unknowingly vulnerable. Humans never really were in control or as omnipotent as had once been thought.

Sunswept Imaginings

Thought Less
I thought with age (me nearing 50) that knowing more would accompany seniority. The philosopher Socrates’ idea of ‘I know, that I know nothing’. Makes more sense to me now. We, convinced by assuredness, that knowing affords us safety, a life, decency, respect, wealth, luck, faith, security has not for millennia been valid. Life does not arrive with a 100% guarantee of anything other than at some point… Death.
To beachcomb is to dare, to risk, to lose, to give up hope of ever finding anything worthwhile and still meditate whilst moving. Laughingly picking up finds. Placing sea worn wood, stones, fossils, glass either in bags to take home or carefully back onto the beach.

The aim to willfully, amble alongside others and humbly discover…

Resources
A brief explanation of the resources. There are times I feel that the best part of writing these missives are the moving parts that the above grew from.
Talking While Black from This American life is I presume a take on the blog series Walking Whilst Black. The episode observes 3 experiences of Black Americans, encountering racism and policies being written to erode the use of critical race theory or any discomfort caused by discussions about difference. A case of seeking to remain willfully ignorant.
Certainty is a part of the musical art form – Jazz. There is timing, time signatures, a mood being worked through and produced. With Alice Coltrane’s music, a sense of uncertainty is also apparent on Turiya and Ramakrishna. A meeting of Eastern and Western influences, holding you in their sway as Alice plays piano. The music invites both promise of delivery and holding a refrain, with each note curiously working at the space between.
Prentis Hemphill discusses with Patrisse Cullors imagination, discovery and making way for something different. A joyous conversation.
Brian Cox and Robin Ince and guests discuss amongst other things quantum mechanics, the Block Universe, Time, Free Will and entropy. The idea of not knowing, the idea of uncertainty and someday being close to answers I found reassuring to listen to.
The last reference perhaps could be moved to the top of the references list. The conversation is enjoyable for what it reveals, Brené Brown talks with Father Richard Rohr on the topic of uncertainty. Father Richard Rohr is able to be profound and humble at the same time. The concert hall of Brené Brown – allows both the music and the silence to rebound. Encapsulating whilst the teaching resonates. When truth is heard, it is also felt…
Alice Coltrane Turiya and Ramakrishna
Finding Our Way with Prentis Hemphill and Patrisse Cullors
Entropy Infinite Monkey Cage
Uncertainty Unlocking Us with Brené Brown and Father Richard Rohr pt 1

Images
Cover Photoby Christian Holzinger on Unsplash
1st Inlay Discovery: Herein photo by Mia Nicoll on Unsplash
2nd Inlay Close Up photo by Cristofer Maximilian on Unsplash
3rd Inlay Sunswept photo by Zeny Rosalina on Unsplash

Beautiful Purpose

Ikigai – Purpose of Being

Ikigai

Is a Japanese word whose meaning translates roughly to a reason for being, encompassing joy, a sense of purpose and meaning and a feeling of well-being.

The word derives from:
iki, meaning life, and
kai, meaning the realisation of hopes and expectations.
From what is.techtarget.com

Tools
Wanting to heal and providing a number of tools, resources and ideas that support others to heal too I believe is my path, my passion and my pastime. A therapist no longer. I am doing something more. It’s surprising this level of experience because I had no idea that I would arrive at a point like Jonathon Livingstone Seagull: Above the clouds, looking for others to soar up here too.

Psychotherapy as Art
I was supposed to be an artist or an architect, at the very least an Interior Designer. But life did what life does best – took me where it needed me to go. From London to Peterborough, Leicester, Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, North London, South London. Hamilton Ontario?

Walk and Talk Therapy, Autumn creeps in the mist
Walking and Talking in a London Park. Psychotherapy meets Artistry

Mr Ben
A host of jobs I have played an active role in, that has included; a McDonalds employee, a night packer at Walkers Crisps Leicester, working in a nightclub as a bar person – University experience Leicester, packer and sorter for freeman’s catalogs Peterborough, office mover and delivery person for English Heritage and Manpower staff agency – London, a barista and store assistant manager at Seattle Coffee company, a youth worker/manager for the place in Woolwich.

Speeding Up
It was here as a youth worker, that life began to accelerate and I began to notice the power of influence within conversations I was having with young people and what the effect of being supported could do.

I continued supporting young people at the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award in Wandsworth which lead me to being a school sports co-ordinator at Harris Girls Academy East Dulwich, I completed an introductory course to counselling at Morley College in this time.

Becoming a learning mentor at a boys school Salesian College, a few years later, helped to solidify what I had learned -Talking Helps! Then I completed a Masters in Counselling from University of Greenwich.

Paint
A placement at a Drs surgery in Camberwell and a placement at a prison lead me to working with people in forensic settings. I have written before about becoming an artist that works with the human canvas of life. The reality is artistry has led on to something more.

Labelled Healer
It is further along this path of discovery that I am headed, I notice points of interest and signs that the journey is about to quicken and change once more. Magi, healer, shaman, doctor, it seems like the next potential door through which I am to pass.

A man in prison approached me and asked
“What do you do, then?”
I replied “I am a counsellor.”
He said “You look more like a doctor.”
I laughed and offered “Is that’s a good thing?”
He said “It could be, I need a doctor.”
“Ah” I said…

Sidelined
The idea I am learning to accept is that interpretation of an idea, of a person’s life choices can be vast. So much can be included or completely left out.

Those who are labelled unhinged or mad are often marginalised. The fact that some people can see things that may not appear in our version of reality earns them a severe and enduring mental health label. Perhaps the Magi, Healer, Suffi, Shaman would be more appreciative. Able to show more understanding towards the ‘psychotic’ the ‘schizophrenic’ or the personality disordered. Perhaps there is more to be perceived of our reality.

6 Weeks: Get Ready for 2020

More
My Ikigai is wanting to support the many to be well whatever that may mean. These blogs and links, tweets, linkedIn posts, Instagram shares, Pinterest pictures, Facebook posts are to support the many heal. My 6 week course for Black Man is soon to begin at the Wellness Hub in Lee Lewisham England. A 6 week online course for the same target group is currently in production too.  

It’s Time

Resources
2 Black Guys with Good Credit Don’t Hate, Negotiate
Oprah Winfrey and Malcolm Gladwell Super Soul Sunday
The Dope Black Podcast
Code Switch Our Homeland Raising Kings
The Nod Fearing the Black Body