Primary Colours of Psychotherapy.

The thought behind this blog is to attempt answering a clients question. As an artist using the spectrum of human experience to express high art – they asked if as I say psychotherapy is a refined art “what would be the primary colours?”

I wonder what your answer would be?
As you can see below my answer encompasses a psychotherapeutic journey.

Thread
The question is profoundly simple and yet also confoundingly complex. In essence what are the three counselling theorems that I primarly reach for? The primary colours of the artist’s palette are Red, Yellow and Blue. In the light spectrum the primary colours are Red, Green and Blue. From 3 primary colours, a million more colours are created.

Artiste
As an integrative counsellor, the question caused me to pause for a number of reasons. I was invited to see myself as a painter of notoriety. Palette and brush in hands, peering curiously from behind an easel and canvas occasionally, at the subject being depicted. What would be my Red, Yellow, Blue? What does integrative really mean? Which three of the many counselling and psychotherapeutic approaches would I say are primary? Hence the blog. The answer – arriving later.

Bespoke
An integrative counsellor is often trained to use more than one counselling or psychotherapeutic approach to support the person(s) engaged in the work. Counselling approaches can include and the list provided is by no means exhaustive: Person Centred, Humanistic, Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioural, Solution Focused, Problem Centred, Transpersonal, Internal Family Systems, Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing, Culturally sensitive, Transactional Analysis, Game Theory, Attachment Theory, Trauma informed, Music Psychotherapy, Art Psychotherapy, Movement and Dance Psychotherapy. The list is near endless. Somatic Abolitionism is a very recent interest. Invited by Kimberly Cato to immerse myself into. When asked what my Red, Yellow and Blue for counselling and psychotherapy are? After several years in the world of counselling and psychotherapy, a few colour wheel associations are made.

Colour: Storage

Red – Assessment
I am drawn in by the experience of developing a sound relationship with the person(s) sitting in the *‘chair’ opposite me. The vibrancy of the unsure, questioning, circling of the two who soon will be engaged in the psychological rumble that is psychotherapy – is the red of the colour wheel for me.

Runway
Assessments are: Potent, energetic, immediate, open, raw, honest. The assessment is not specifically an approach of psychotherapy, but it is a significant and an important factor. Assessment is how the process of counselling is begun. In the assessment which is a two-way engagement, the client and the mental health professional enquire of the other what work is to be engaged with, and how the content of what is discussed will support both to enable growth, change, development and healing to be happen. The counsellor is assumed to be the one with power/knowledge. The opposite is more often the case. The client holds their entire story. The impact and the meaning of their life’s challenges being lived with. These choices and decisions lie between, to be understood and reviewed for newer formations and meaning to arrive.

Shades of Red

Internalise
Together counselling aims to address the parts of the story that are useful, syphon away parts of the story the client is to grow from and implement gathered learning.

Yellow – Person to person
From my initial training at Morley College and then accessing the integrative approach at University of Greenwich, I was rooted in the person-centred understanding of counselling and psychotherapy. Carl Rogers the giant, I the infant beginning in the profession. Measuring myself against the Rogerian model. Psychodynamic persuasions had yet to seduce me into an understanding of the shadow aspects of a person’s (client’s) psyche, or mine. I enjoyed staying amongst the lit and topside overstanding of what a person brought in to the counselling space. The surprises were wan of the danger and risk of the Id, Ego, Super Ego, the exchanges amongst transactional analysis, I danced free from the drama triangles of the Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor, the super consciousness of the internal supervisor observing the Transference and Counter Transference were also moderately subdued.

Pebbled Yellow

Inspirator
Outside of congruence, unconditional positive regard (UPR), empathy, compassion and non-judgemental listening. The way in, to support another appeared straightforward with person centred approaches to counselling. I looked forward to playing a role that supported others to access improved *awareni of their mental health. The readying myself and mental preparations were not too dissimilar to the other roles I held of being a Basketball Coach, and a learning mentor. The precontemplation and readiness to perform as a compassionate collaborator were a wardrobe I was already somewhat familiar with.

Educate
Then in the 2nd year of counselling training I met 2 experiences that would forever change my appreciation of the counselling landscape. Counselling in a large London prison. And a client that I met in this prison I have renamed ‘Laos’. Person centred counselling had for me a limited reach when it came to working with some men in prison. I remember reflecting with my supervisor, the notable Anne Willoughby, that my usual approach of nodding and paraphrasing did not seem to be working with Laos. He mocked me during our 2nd meeting by asking ‘Are you really just going to sit there and nod all the way through this, repeating everything I say?’ Either I was not getting him, or he was not getting me. Possibly both. AW and I decided to put our minds together, as is the case in supervision. The aim is to summarise and re-direct the approach being taken. If something is not working, figure out what it is and change it!

Icarus
Accessing psychodynamic perspectives of the inner child, internal family systems, drama triangles, being aware of transference and counter transference all helped to build a resourced, close, understanding of who I was meeting. A fuller story of the person I was counselling came to light. Once I began processing Laos’ from a perspective of ‘seeing’ his life’s history. A number of significant chapters opened up: Laos was a person that came from a family with wealth. He was given the metaphorical keys with access to explore all elements of his younger life in the countries and cities he and his family moved to. Following his father’s career. Laos had a privileged background. He was privately educated. Teachers were aware of his intelligence and gift with mathematics. He suffered experiences of abandonment and loss. Travel became an escape for him as was alcohol and substance addiction. Survival was mostly what he was able to hold on to.

Sliding Doors
My work with Laos became a transition point. Through which I became an integrative counsellor adapting my approach for every person I would support subsequently. For Laos I believed he woke up in me the sleeping dragon. A counsellor able to straddle the psychotherapeutic world of person centred counselling and the forever developing one of the psychodynamic-neuroadaptive psychotherapeutic world. He experiencing his world as cavernous, treacherous and risky. I imagined, that he needed to know that his counsellor was just as resilient, resourceful, daring, hungry and as courageous as he.

Indigo Swirls

Blue – Mystery
The advent of CoViD19, the various lockdowns and multiple stages of locking up and unlocking, me moving to online only counselling provision and supervision has changed all aspects of how I meet clients. Petruska Clarkson wrote about a heightened experience in the counselling relationship. For some who work in a number of differing professions, describe the experience of being in flow. When a counsellor has a perception that they have crossed into a knowingness that is beyond them Clarkson would call an experience like this – transpersonal.

Oblique
With a question, a look, a smile, a tear, a non-verbal cue – some ‘extra’ communication lies between the counsellor and client. It is like the room alive to the presence of the two or more in the room share an experience that is beyond what both have known of themselves before. At times these moments are fleeting, sometimes they stay around for many minutes. The fear being, that a mistaken word, a misstep, will evaporate the hush that has descended. It is like magic. A few friends who have kinesthesia have spoken about seeing sound, tasting colour. That letters and numbers have their own distinct flavours or colours. Being in the hush is like this knowing what is possibly unknowable. These moments offer a profound connection.

Escaping
All types of performers tune in to mystical moments such as these. When they say things like ‘I was feeling the vibe’ an experience of transcendence is amongst them. Wrapping those who watch them spellbound and amazed as if time and space are immaterial. The feeling: stars and rainbows, tingly and unexpected in a way that is as awe inspiring as it is brief. Leaving me questioning did that really just happen? It is the lecturer who instead of reading off of her screen, begins pulling apart one concept in the hope that the class can keep up. They mesmerised and amazed. Hoping that every lecture will be as electrifying and as delicious as this. It is the podcaster who feels their way through a difficult moment with guests. They then finding something golden that all who hear what is being shared – are forever changed.

Be Water
Bruce Lee has been reported to have said that Water is an important element to be aware of. Changing to meet the environment it experiences and yet still remaining itself. The following sections are continuations of the Blue theme – peering beyond the horizon.

Be Water

The Score
Bessel Van Der Kolk’s ‘The Body Keeps The Score’ was an important book to have read. Bessel characterised his appreciation for body focused psychotherapy, or body focused treatments as a way to support those who are living with trauma. The writing of ‘The Body…’ is to offer understanding of the process of realising the release what has been trapped in the body offers. Bessel’s book assisted me in appreciating that talking as a form of treatment has it’s limits. Whilst the mind is helpful in making sense of events in time and space, there are restrictions in what can thoroughly be relieved. Some parts of memory do not have the words. These moments are either pre-verbal, somaticized knowledge or lie in parts of the body that words are useless at describing. Psychotherapy, counselling, C.B.T. D.B.T. are all useful up until a point, then words falter. I am interested in what comes after the words. This for me is Blue…

EMDR
In 2019 I trained to use EMDR. I had a long-held interest in wanting to use Eye Movement De-Sensitisation Re-Processing to support clients. I came across EMDR as a result of Bessel’s book and my training at Greenwich. I was intrigued to know more of how bi-lateral stimulation could support someone who has experienced Small t trauma and Big T trauma to live beyond principle events. The trainers Barbara Lerch and Joshua Isaac Smith carefully wove personal narratives of using body based and specific bi-lateral stimulations with clients. Their stories about the impact for clients were surprising and initially I found unbelievable.

Past/Present
One client I supported at a prison in Kent helped me fully appreciate what EMDR does. They were a survivor of war in Afghanistan. Going to school amongst a country wracked by war. Daily trips to the store, friends houses were a series of gauntlets ran. Living with the constant fear of being shelled, surviving mortar attacks, passing through bloody scenes, witnessing people dieing and hearing cries of the injured and scared. The belief they held, was that they were still in the war. That they were still in Afghanistan. Every loud shout. Every gate being slammed in prison, brought them immediately back to scenes and memories from their past.

Blue: Cotton Candy Clouds

Crane Stance
By inviting the client to observe 2 important concepts of self belief and what they would preferably like to believe about themselves, is a key component in the change dynamic when supporting a client using bi-lateral stimulation. EMDR training instigates a theoretical imbalance that clients are to address and rebalance themselves with. The result, an experience of Capoeira – expertly and nimbly turning a hard to reach fact into a reality. By experiencing both the past and a future the client would prefer to live in. An undeniable shift had taken place. When the work was completed their smile and their sense of disbelief was felt, as they dizzily left the room. The successful outcome was experienced as a shedding of an old heavy armour. Walking beyond with something flexible and better suited to the life they were now to live.

On Being
Kwame Opoku a Balham based counsellor introduced me to the phenomenon that is Resmaa Menakem. I have been fully immersed in his body focused message and shared a few of his interviews on previous blogs. During a conversation with Krista Tippett on the On Being podcast Resmaa shares a number of his findings and what he invites those that he works with to understand about the world we are living in. There is a cost to continue speeding through the experience of life with blinkers on and what slowing down feels like. There are emotional and historical charges due up for release. We would do well if we pay attention to generational wounds, traumas, remembering’s, suppressions and not just talk about them but somatically be in the process of healing with them. For me the Blue here is wrapped in a Brown of the earth and of the spirit body. The cover art for My Grandmother’s Hands invites pause to understand the content of the book and the journey left to travel.

Equine
There is a part of me that is nervous releasing this nascent idea here. But I have thrown other ideas forward that have either been held by you, questioned by you, but not laughed at or ridiculed. So I will remain courageous and share an insight. Reading 40 Million Dollar Slaves, William Rhoden offered a wonderful perspective of those who were brought to North American shores, against their will, being instrumental in animal husbandry. There was a line in the book that described an integral part of how African people were able to commune with livestock and specifically horses. Mr. Rhoden didn’t write this, but there was an implicit idea that being compared to a beast of burden had some people in bondage, appreciate the lives of the creatures that they worked with in a way that was spiritual. Mr. Rhoden went as far as to say that African Americans were excellent horse trainers, riders and jockeys because of an embodied knowledge.

How High
An idea fixed itself to the back of my mind in 2016 of working with horses after reading the book. 2 more celluloid presentations arrived in 2021. The first being High on the Hog Netflix documentary and The Harder They Fall Netflix Cowboy movie. A Cowboy instructed Stephen Satterfield, that of course Black people were amongst the first Cowboys! ‘Where do you think the term Cowboy came from?’ My jaw hit the ground and fireworks spread across the screen for me. The ‘oh, of course of it’. The ‘hiding in plain sight of it!’ The dastardliness of it! Men and Women of African descent were cowboys.

Finally
On an episode of Queer Eye S6 ep. Snow White of Central Texas (yes I know, yet another Netflix show) the ‘5 change agents’ visit a Texan farm. The farm introduces children to animals. Both guests and farm dwellers received a therapeutic outcome from visits. As part of the redesign the owner of the farm experiences equine psychotherapy themselves! Leigh the equine therapist shared an insight that ‘horses do not speak in language they speak in energy!’ On hearing that, my interest in animal assisted psychotherapy peaked. Equine psychotherapy is something I will look to pursue in the future. This the last instalment of the primary colour Blue, I am to daub across the canvas of psychotherapy. I have a suspicion further interests will maraud…

Rainbow
And here my foray in a psychotherapy painted landscape that began with 3 primary colours has ended with a colour palette that extends to both Infra Red and Ultraviolet. A simple question asked by a client has turned into a 2000 word long read. Conclusion: as an integrative psychotherapist I am interested in the blending of approaches to support the process of healing. Red – Assessment, Yellow – Person Centred/Psychodynamic, Blue – for me, looks like this – EMDR – Somatic Abolitionism – Equine Psychotherapy…

I wonder what your primary colours could reveal…?

Resources
Israel Anthony artist extraordinaire and a hell of a chess player! I have played him and lost a number of times. This is a link to his website.
Resmaa Menakem’s website on Somatic Abolitionism. Here Resmaa shares his vision of what his training offers participants.
Bruce Lee is known for his incredible skill at Kung-Fu and little known for his appreciation of philosophy. Bruce Lee offers his interpretation of being fluid.
EMDR links to the EMDR centre London where I completed my training. Barbara and Joshua are phenomenal exponents of the application of EMDR.
Brazilian Capoeira offers a short clip of the Brazilian Art form/dance/self defence fighting style/political movement.
A link to Dream Winds horse training website. For animal assisted psychotherapy training in Ontario.
On Being  – Notice the Rage, Notice the Silence interview with Krista Tippett and Resmaa Menakem talk about his book ‘My Grandmother’s Hands’ and about the idea of the human body being constricted – primed and ready for fight, flight and freeze.
Wu Wei Wisdom with Alexandra Lees and David James Lees discus healing the inner child. Thank you for Kate Bowler for recommending this podcast. The conversations between Alexandra and David are enlightening and humorous.
The Happiness Lab I thank a number of sources for alerting me to, a client and Dare to Lead by the Brené Brown team. I have been resisting listening because I doubted that a podcast could provide a probable path to happiness. There is something here for me about expectation, arrogance and beginners mind. Glad to be shown my errors and unlearn.
On Being Podcast Krista Tippett with Resmaa Menakem – Notice the Rage, Notice the Silence
Wu Wei Wisdom Podcast – Inner Child Therapy
The Happiness Lab Podcast – Dr. Laurie Santos – You Can Change

Images
Cover photo Paint Brushes photo by RhondaK Native Florida Folk Artist on Unsplash
Light Box Corridor photo by Efe Kurnaz on Unsplash
Yellow – Red Sheds photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Red Art Slick photo by DAVE NETTO on Unsplash
Yellow lead photo by Max Böhme on Unsplash
Rainbow Corridor photo by Robert Katzki on Unsplash
Blue in water photo by Adrien Ledoux on Unsplash
Blue Water photo by steffi harms on Unsplash
Blue/Pink Sky photo by Sam Dan Truong on Unsplash

*Chair I used to work with clients who were in the same room as me. Before the pandemic. Now we are separated by considerable distances and yet able to meet by the marvels of modern technology. 2 Chairs in 2 very different spaces.

It’s About Healing: Beyond Therapy

When Marlon James the author of Black Leopard Red Wolf offered at a book signing in 2019, that ‘It’s about healing’ he presented me 2 insights in one. This is often the way with the wise. A single sentence containing as many meanings as one wants to ascribe.

Own Self
As a writer, Marlon James’ books have invited a sense of closure to misremembered, misrepresented pasts. Stories about Black Africans living in *Diasporan lands are often exotified embellishments. Built upon lies that fall from colonisers mouths and minds as if fully formed. Tall tales have positioned the African in precarious positions and amongst endangered real and imagined landscapes. With diminished ability of self governance, self determination or self improvement. Placing white saviorism in the middle of a mistaken history. Cut stories, as though ripping a past in half could interrupt it’s eventual and inevitable realisation. We see beyond the lines painting the African either in unfavorably bad light or out of the picture. Here I am remembering the last episode of High in the Hog 4 part documentary and ‘The Harder They Fall’ movie.

Sunset Hills

Simmering
The insight Mr. James highlighted was that by writing (creating) we can access healing and that by telling our stories in our own way within language from cultures adopted, we add to the healing pot. There is something about seeing the words and art that you think, being pulled from you and thrown across a page (such as this), a scroll, a wall, a canvas, caste in clay, poured into jewelry, or a clothing design made, into a picture or a film or piece of music, a dance, a move in sport. The spark of that inspiration is then left to affect another. Witness and harness it to their own end.

Re-calibrate
Therapy has become almost a lesser than activity. Synonymous with celebrities doing the work to move beyond past harmful experiences. Healing has meaning and therapy seems to encompass everything from Osteopathy, Neuropathy, Light and Sound assisted treatment and, I have been found guilty to be using the abbreviation too, in Walk and Talk Therapy. (What I was later to learn is that ecologically enhanced/assisted psychotherapy can alternatively be used. It’s wordy though.) The term therapy is an abridgement. The argument I am presenting is about meaning making. What we mean when we say therapy – is treatment. Engaging with another trained in the art of psychotherapeutic/psychoanalytic treatment. A form of healing involving a client discussing with a trained professional. Supporting pain from their past to be assuaged.

Reframe Change

Upended
Two representations have recently been offered on TV, that psychotherapy is a tool used to ruin or invite in a healer’s unrest. The two cases I am choosing to highlight here are characters bent on utterly destroying each adherent. My concerns are about two shows ‘Hypnotic’ Netflix, and ’The Shrink Next Door’ Apple TV. There are clear boundary issues that are crossed and transgressed in both. I wonder if they ever really existed for the therapists involved? My concern is that a mislaid belief about psychological attempts at healing will be unconsciously accepted as truth. In turn then, the bent towards accessing additional support will be interrupted. The seemingly global succession of mindfully engaging with some psychological intervention willfully overturned.

Complex
Because – for me healing is a multi modal and multidirectional phenomena. Healing travels into the past, amongst the present, and supports an understanding and use of the future – simultaneously. I mean that when a counsellor, psychotherapist, psychologist, healer is supporting an individual or a group or a couple they are working amongst and with a range of differing and sometimes competing factors. Healing can include the client’s history, family, intimate partners, work patterns, associates, aspirations for the future, sleep, diet, exercise, rest, entertainment and past experiences. In couples and with group the experiences everyone brings to a healing encounter can be magnified. With group support the experience is as if another living entity is involved with the process as with the people involved – almost.

A Wall of Hearts

Where There Is Light
Then there are the shadow aspects clients don’t wish to bring to therapeutic encounters. Both Carl Jung and Freud called this the Shadow Self. The Shadow Self is the part of ourselves we do not want to own or claim we know, because of it’s often distasteful, deplorable desires and dreams. Previously I mentioned Smaug the Dragon in the Hobbit as a depiction of the mortal dilemma. As humans we are as impressive as the Dragon, as deep and as cavernous as the dungeon Smaug inhabits and as precious as the horde of gold the Dragon rests upon. When we can embrace all seemingly separate parts of ourselves then…

Laboring
Healing is to recognise all parts of the individual including the split off shadow aspects of the self and support a repair that has hurt persons hold all aspects of themselves carefully, with kindness. As mentioned before if we cut parts of ourselves off, we are doing a disservice to our whole being. We cannot fully access who we authentically are. If a part of ourselves is forever banished we spend energy on the look out for the usurper to return and disrupt. We perpetually anticipate the interlopers inevitable resurgence. Perhaps we are to address healing as an ongoing active engagement with no predetermined or presumed end. Like a story without conclusion. Perhaps what Marlon James was introducing as the concept of healing, is to be continually tilled and tended to as soil…

Holding Mariposa

It is all about healing!

Resources
The Mindful Cranks podcast introduces Manu Bazzano who supports an idea of mindfulness, meditation, psychotherapy and letting oneself go.
Hana and Leila presenters of The Stoop podcast look at accessing psychotherapy and what causes some members of the Black community to either seek support or not.
Eldra Jackson offers his story in this TED talk as a way to describe what happens when a trauma is denied exposure and the opportunity for healing to take place.
Stormy Monday explores the music habits some persons in San Quentin prison use to look after themselves.
The Mindful Cranks with Manu Bazzano
The Stoop On The Couch
TED Talk Eldra Jackson Masculinity
Ear Hustle Stormy Monday

Images
Theme Healing
Embrace Painted Sky photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash
Sunset Hills photo by Jakub Kriz on Unsplash
Shift Happens photo by SOULSANA on Unsplash
Rainbow Heart photo by Jiroe on Unsplash
Holding Butterfly photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Kim Evans of Kaemotherapy

Kaemotherapy

The Luddite and The Technological Savant discuss supporting Black Lives Matter

Meeting Kim online was a serendipitous moment. She has a prolific Instagram posting regimen with sayings, providing instant support to over 900 followers. I wanted to interview her as she appears to have her fingers very much on the pulse of what the nation is looking for – A smart experienced therapist who can be available in a range of formats to provide those seeking help with immediate relief and guided support.

Full disclosure, Kim has also recruited a team of therapists to provide 4 hours (up to 6) of free counselling for Black people in the UK. I am one of the counsellors recruited.

I wanted to know what inspired Kim to develop the concept of providing free counselling for Black People and then put the idea to the public for Kaemotherapy to be crowd funded? A quick calculation informed me that the provision will deliver over 40 hours of Free counselling and counselling workshop experience for Black people in the UK. Which I think/believe is incredible!

MO: Hello Kim, thank you for agreeing to doing this interview. 
Kim: Thanks for having me.

MO: So we have known of each other for a little over 2 months. Mainly commenting and referencing each other’s Instagram posts through the CoViD19 experience and I wanted to know a little bit more about you. We have spoken a few times whilst you were finalising the plans for the 40 hours of Free counselling. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
Kim: I live in South London, studied in Nottingham.
I’m a Person-Centred Psychotherapist, Body and Trauma specialist,
I help people move forward from trauma they have experienced.
And support individuals to understand the intricate relationship between mind and body.

I have experience of working with adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and supporting BAME clients through racial trauma. I’m passionate about…

Fighting racial inequality and supporting black communities with their mental health. I have a private practice but I’m fully booked at the moment. 

Like Michael mentioned I’ve been offering online counselling and raising funds for that. It’s so we can support black individuals impacted by recent events and the exposure of racial wounds with the BLM movement. 
Check out my page 🙂 @Therapy_with_kim

A first collab
An outcome of one conversation between us


MO: Your instagram is fire. The posts lift me every time I see one, I am not sure if it’s the smile, the words, the image of the plant or the combination. What brought you to want to provide counselling?
Kim: Aww wow thank you so much. It’s interesting because I realised once I started to produce my own content rather than reposting other peoples stuff I got more followers and feedback. I think it’s about people understanding my values as a practitioner and getting to know me a little more. Also, I strangely muse on things at night when I can’t sleep, that’s when the best content comes to me.

MO: How long have you been practicing as a counsellor?
Kim: I’ve been practicing for 5 years now.

MO: How do you go about counselling? What approach do you take? You might have to explain that for someone who is not too aware of the many different styles of counselling.
Kim: My foundation is the person centred approach.

Fundamentally, person centred theory asserts that tensions between our external and internal worlds create psychological distress.

How that manifests in my practice is focusing on the autonomy & choices of the calient and helping them to develop their voice (message, desires, needs), delving deep into their subjective experience this may often include cultural and social contexts.

For example, if family culture or a country of origin plays a part in their self image and to what extent they want that for themselves.

I’ve also recently integrated some body work, meditation and body scans to support regulating my clients’ nervous system. This works well with anxious clients and clients moving forward from traumatic events which have let them numb or hypervigilant.

21st Century Mental Health Workshop

MO: You laughed at the word luddite when I was asking for technical support a few weeks ago, and you mentioned you studied at Brunel, what course did you study there?
Kim: Yes because it reminded me of my industrial revolution module in my second year of university. The rebellious workers adverse to industry advances smashing up machinery, scared they’d lose their jobs. I studied undergrad History and love it. My passion for my community was fuelled further when I studied the slave trade.

MO: Why this approach (Person Centred) and not one of the many other styles of counselling?
Kim: I just love and it fits with who I am and the values I hold as a person. Empowerment (voice choice) and redefining oneself to be flexible with lived experiences, has been part of my journey but I also have seen how its supported clients from different backgrounds and with various mental health issues. I did a bit of Gestalt training and I sometimes utilise attachment theory as part of assessments. 

MO: I know this is going to sound like I am interviewing you on Instagrams’ behalf, but what has lead to you putting the work in to display your services on Instagram, not twitter or facebook?
Kim: For the separation from my private space I have loads of friends on Facebook and I’m not that familiar with Twitter. I recently got a twitter account though, add me @therapywithkae 

MO: With your most recent campaign, providing free counselling and workshops for Black people what has been the response from the community?
Kim: The response has been amazing I’m so happy. I just wanted to help in some way as I was so angry with what was happening (still is). Loads have people have supported financially and all the counselling slots were taken up in a matter of days. Goes to show how needed it was at this time. 

MO: How did you go about selecting the therapists on your poster?
Kim: They were colleagues I studied with and therapists I’d made connections with since returning to London. They are all culturally competent, passionate about the cause and from different backgrounds. 

MO: What do you hope will be the outcome for the community?
Kim: For Black people to seek out and utilise the resources they have out there. Mental health awareness and support to be embedded in our families. For the ‘Work harder’ ethic to connect to emotional and psychological well-being as well as finance, academia and other definitions of success.

MO: Are there any plans for a similar initiative to be repeated again?
Kim: Yes definitely!

MO: How has advertising free counselling supported your business?
Kim: Perhaps you could answer that one Michael?
MO: I would have to say that I am being contacted a lot more as a result of my link to the Kaemotherapy offer. So thank you for that.

MO: Lastly you mentioned that you are soon to launch a podcast, can I ask what it will be about?
Kim: I have been featured in 2 podcasts recently which were a lot of fun to be a part of. I want to develop one and have a few ideas for a podcast. As with most things in life tt’s just a matter of having the time to develop them. I know that currently podcasts are a great way to promote an idea, and set yourself and your business as an industry expert. I am interested in doing that. Definitely.

A few challenges that are ever present

MO: Thank you Kim. I look forward to listening to these and what you later produce for a podcast. Now to turn the tables and ask, do you have any questions for me?
Kim: I do have a few. What made you want to be counsellor?

MO: That is a great question. I wanted to be an artist/architect/interior designer. At the age of 20 I lost my mother to cancer and that had a big impact on my original plans. A few years were lost trying to make sense of life and then became a youth worker, basketball coach and then a learning mentor.

These roles all seemed to naturally fall into psychotherapy and support at an adolescent level. I studied my first introductory course to counselling at Morley College and then jumped ahead of myself to do a Masters at University of Greenwich. That turned me into an integrative counsellor

Kim: What would your advice be for people wanting to do counselling especially men?
MO: Do a bit of research about the course you are thinking of beginning. What are the parts of the course that most appeal? Ask a range of counsellors, or former students of that course about their experience.

Find a mentor to support your learning journey. BAATN offer a great mentoring programme of support for students of therapy. I would also advise for anyone interested in joining this path to become a counsellor/psychotherapist, to begin resolving their affairs of home, job and of the heart as best they can.

The course is going to pull some hard truths out of you. Having a solid home team is going to be at times the best thing to have spent time investing into. Counselling courses can be life changing in both necessary and dramatic/dynamic ways.

For men I would advise to be aware that counselling and psychotherapy is a profession that many women have made a great career in Esther Perrel stands out as an example of a global success. Being on a course potentially could be the first time that a male may encounter being in a minority.

Welcome the learning. Try to listen more. Aim at understanding – Always. The Patriachy exists and we have played a role in it’s continuance. The question for me is what are we men going to do to revolutionise and deconstruct the imbalance? I grew up with 3 sisters and realised that life whilst hard, had potentially more unfairness for them.

Kim: How have you found the workshops so far?
MO: The 1st one was wonderful. I will complete the 2nd this evening on the 9th of July and the 3rd and 4th on the 16th and 23rd of July.

They are all free and look at Mental Health in the 21st Century. The workshops as you are aware as you attended the first week, are interactive and less about me talking at attendees and more with attendees.

I have found them useful and interesting to be a part of a learning experience. Many topics are discussed in just over an hour and I send to participants the presentation slides with useful follow up materials to support a person with their onward journey.

The following weeks discuss: Goals and Reducing Distractions, Reviewing Progress and Implementing new growth strategies.

Kim: What made you want to participate in the free counselling project?
MO: The death of George Floyd in May 2020 and the vicious attack on Rodney King 20 years prior deeply affected how I viewed the world in which I lived.

When you shared your idea of crowd funding free sessions for Black people with me, I think my answer YES was said almost like I was saying yes to myself 20 years ago.

Vicarious Trauma is a difficult thing to recognise or make right when an event viscerally takes over a persons wellbeing. Knowing that you would be helping Black Women and Men recover through 1 – 1 support and with workshops, looked like a courageous and affirming project to be a part of. I am glad that I have. I have met some wonderful people through the programme, who all seem ready to begin their therapeutic journey.

4 Week Workshop 21st Century Mental Health
4 Weeks worth of discussion and thought

Kim: What can we expect from the next free sessions/why should they join?

MO: The workshop Mental Health in the 21st Century began as a conversation had with you a number of weeks ago. The workshops will cover How to manage the deluge of information we are struggling under from a vast array of sources. How to reduce imposter syndrome and what steps to take to continue the work to change habits.

How to Focus and get shit done instead of eternally thinking and thinking and thinking about doing things and not getting them done, which causes a degree of fatigue and leads to impatience and frustration and then a sense of defeat that leads to dis-ease.

The other workshop topics look at Focus, Goals, and Reducing, reviewing Implementing. The aim of the workshops as you know as an attendee are to support fresher ideas and improve ways to live in a World that is moving and changing at an incredible speed.

Kim Explains the support on offer for Black UK residents.

The workshops are a culmination of thoughts I have had, fascinating discoveries I have gained from podcasts and articles I have listened to or read and a range of life experiences that I simply cannot keep to myself.

I’m like that child in the class room, arms pumping the air, waving frantically at the teacher or TA to call on them, bursting with ideas to tell the class or at least mildly entertain them with. Something that that kid knows, potentially is helpful but the class just aren’t ready to hear yet.

Yeah that’s me.

Resources
Keeping Clients At The Centre Kim Evans BACP Training
How to Cope With Racial Trauma ft Kim Evans MSc
Linktree @therapy_with_kae

Images
By Kim Evans of Kaemotherapy
Slide Presentation by M. Opoku-Forfieh

Clap Your Hands Now

Next Steps

Over the last few months/years I have been asked a few times by graduates of counselling and or psychology courses and by other interested parties about the next steps to become either a coach or a counsellor.

Over the next few days/weeks I’ll share a number of ideas to advance ones helping career.

1. Investigate what a counsellor and a coach does.
2. If one or the other appeal to you find courses that you want to do next
3. Ask a number of counsellors/coaches about how they are finding their work and how their course was

Ascent: Looking like a long way up.
Take that 1st Step

4. Find out a little more of the marketing/business side of being a coach or a counsellor
5. Join or research BAATN, BACP, ATPN, Black Minds Matter, UKCP, Counselling Directory, The Counsellors Cafe Magazine, Black Thrive, BPS, Ayanay, National Counselling Society
6. Find courses both online or at a College or University that offer either counselling or coaching or both courses and apply. I believe only UEL do currently.

Made it from the bottom
Onwards and Up


7. Find a mentor who can support and offer insight through the learning process. BAATN provide a fantastic mentoring service for students.
8. Identify specific areas of interest i.e. Trauma, attachment, relationships, mood management, bereavement, anxiety, depression, Intergenerational concerns, the list is near endless.


9. Learn from others Brené Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Kwik, Eugene Ellis, Rotimi Akinsete are good examples of how far one can go.
10. Read and listen to a few relative podcasts Tim Ferris has a good number, Science of Success is good as is Philosophy Bites, Kwik Brain, and a ton of others.

Resources
Psychotherapists and Counsellors for Social Responsibility Interview featuring Dr Dwight Turner
baatn.org.uk Eugene Ellis and Arike discuss Creating Partnerships with Training Organisations

Images
Cover Image by Daniel Lincoln Unspalash
Inlay Photo by Jukan Tateisi Unsplash
2nd Inlay Photo by Boris Stefanik Unsplash

Falling Ability of Memory

Oh my MG
A good writer, journalist, author can bring you aboard their insight like a sea worthy crew member after being swept up in a raging sea storm. Malcolm Gladwell is for me that great sailor and an ongoing *inspirator (inspiring conspirator). His expansive ideas educate and instill knowledge like glittering diamonds. Carefully collected like the gems they truly are.
Currently I have been challenged by his Revisionist History episode Free Brian Williams and will explain below.

Do You Remember When?
The episode presents a curious point of view. It all begins with where we’re you when the World Trade Centre Buildings were attacked? Me: September 11, 2001 I was called from my office by a young person. I remember them asking “but weren’t you there this year?”

Rain Soaked Street

I remember looking at the TV in a Youth Cafe in Woolwich in dumbfounded shock! Filled with disbelief. In January of that year I had spent many wonderful days in NY with my friend SO. Travelling from New Jersey to NY beneath the World Trade Cenre Buildings.

And so hooked I fell into the story of a news anchor person who told a version of events that did not occur as his memory told him they had.

Made up mind
The why of the story is what threw me. I did not want to have my mind changed. Especially because what I had thought was so obviously correct. In my minds eye I was right and decent and moral. He the cheat, Brian Williams, should have known better. But Malcolm weaves a story that blends science, psychopathology with neuroscience. The mix is heavy and splits me along ethically dubious lines. The show ends and I find myself interrogating my many memory missteps too.

Again with the Netflix?
Mamadou Athie was not Grandmaster Flash in the Get Down I confidently said to Dr CW as we watched Uncorked. He was an older gentleman I said. I replayed scenes burned into my mind of Grandmaster flash teaching the ‘younger’ DJ how to find the lyric in a song and keep that playing. I was confident. Then I heard Malcom whispering “remember what was said in the podcast”. We think our memory is indelible like a CD or Video recording or cassette tape. It is not.

Screw Cap
Our memories may remember key pieces of information. Bits. Like an outfit. A face. A scene. A voice. A piece of music. A scent. But the whole conceptualisation our memories simply cannot fully compute with crystalline accuracy.

Review
For 1 second of data to be processed by our brains there are millions of pieces of information being assimilated, ignored and stored. Of course we aren’t going to be able to recall them all. We simply cannot. So I revised mentally The Get Down and Mahmadou in Uncorked and realised my error.

Malcolm and Dr CW were right. My memory had failed me and yet I was ready to stick to my wrongful ideas and hold these above what turned out to be a truth. Reluctantly I realised that I was similar to Brian Williams! Believing what my memory told me and not what others advised me was true and correct.

Duality
The effect of the realisation is laughable and uncomfortable. Another area of fallibility is our gut feeling or going on the feeling of something purely. Read ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ by Daniel Kahneman for a fuller understanding. We should employ both fast and slow thinking. We would find, we would make different choices. Also read the Chimp Paradox to gain a better understanding of our brains capacity to splice information resulting in different reactions.

Sidestep
Listen to the episode of revisionist history and share either anonymously or below when and where your memory played a trick on you.
Altered Carbon? Possibly we are. We were not meant to hold onto these *rememberings. In fact every time we pull up a memory the memory changes. These blogs, journals, diaries, photos and videos are a way of capturing an idea or memory in a time capsule and store it as it was back then.

After Lockdown 2020
Post COVID19, you could do yourself a favour. Welcome a new world. Where we recognise that unless we train our minds to become memory champions like Jim Kwik or Yanjaa Wintersoul, external devices will store parts of what you no longer have active need to remember. Why not let these memories go. Remembering things like embarrassing or traumatic events might actually be holding you back from experiencing something new and worth remembering. Just a thought. Remember to forget.

Perhaps life is better that way.

Resources
Revisionist History Free Brian Williams
Jim Kwik Memory
2 Guys on Your Head – Memory
Hidden Brain – Did That Really Happen?

Images
Cover photo by David Becker on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Bangkit Ristant on Unsplash

Compadre

Together until hats and
Sabres, scarves and
Ammo belts tilt and
Fall or thrown
Down! Bullets
In psychological
Psychobable we blew
Others away
Like Chaff!

You dashing and
Daring and me
Quiet, dismissive, assessing.
Our foes dodging and
Careening to get ‘way
From your shots.
My warnings.

Balance Power And Poise Personified

Sparing none. Killing
With kindness and
Flare. Tragedy and
Trauma. Both lived
Brushed off, scarred
A little, and so knew
Our enemies
Well.

Not versed and
Unable to battle
Similar. Spat ‘n
Cursed ‘n had to
Let us
Pass undeterred.

But harm they
Did. Blatantly. Traps.
Audaciously, withering with
Lies and supported by
Cavalry and legions of
Followers, sheep, braying,
Stinking others who
Thought we were
Outgunned by seniority.

Pseudo superiority. They
Shot down, we battle
Weary. Back to back.
Butch and Sun
Dance. You slim and
Deft and defiant. Confident.
Me heavy and
Slow, somber looking.
Attached to thinking.
Acting mute.

Throwing all, silent
Fingers of vengeance and
Despised eyes of
Demise, a Phoenix rises
From ashes and
So warned they
Burned. Mightily. We
Still laugh at their
Moxie and
With our children tell
Of bravery in
Battle, little big stories.

Inspired by your tracings of invisible marks and rememberings of days past EK.

Resources
Seven is the Wind by Menahan Street Band – this song frames this poem
Sketches in Spain by Miles Davis
Pecking Order Margaret Heffernan T.E.D. Talk
Fugitive – Indigo Girls
This is Love Podcast The Wolves

Images
Cover photo by Xuan Nguyen on Unsplash
Inlay photo by yoo soosang on Unsplash
2nd inlay photo by Matt Noble on Unsplash

Ascent: Looking like a long way up.

Sticking With It: Challenge

Writing short little epithets, as seen below, after completing a 10-minute meditation has been a part of my meditation practice for just over a year. After nearly 400 days of continual practice with the Calm app, I am open to continue with the learning and growing. Recognising that I have an inquisitive and restless mind has been testing. Finding a practice that reduces anxiety has been useful for me to develop a better understanding of myself. The practice of 10-15 minute meditation every day also supports maintain my focus at this challenging time of World History.

Wise words
The quote from calm that inspired this post was – ‘Let difficulty transform you. And it will. In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away’ by Pema Chodron.

My response
@calm ‘Noticing that challenges are made to be overcome and they are as much ‘How’ as they are ‘When’. Ask for guidance or help when needed #meditation.

To the quick
The example of the short quip above, is an effort to show that I understand the difficulty of not turning in the opposite direction. Away from the source of uncomfortable challenge. Making a fail safe leave plan when things get tough. Like now!

Healers
There is an attempt to take the quote and re-interpret Pema Chodrin’s words. I then offer both the quote and my interpretation as a support. You may have seen the quote/remix on various social media spaces I inhabit. The quote/remixes are also a way to share that, should someone want access to mental health support I know of many who could be of impactful assistance.

Challenge as a bridge

Target 400
After 395 days of consistent daily meditation practice and a solid bombardment of information about the Corona-virus/COVID-19 pandemic. My need for meditation happens to be both an escape and a cure to return the mind to a steady hum. I have found the practice to be a salve.

Reset
The hype, hysteria and hyperbole of the disease and recognisable human responses including denial, panic buying, hoarding, frequent information fly wheel gathering, does little to aid our capacity to find a level state of mindful yet calm awareness. In fact it is often quite the opposite.

How
To overcome a challenge is a request to understand what it is and how it may affect things for you, family, friends and colleagues. See the challenge as a problem to solve. Aim at becoming creative and communicate with others about what the challenge is and see if others have met/experienced a similar difficulty and what they did? Rarely are you the only person to have faced a problem like it. Accepting advice could be an appropriate way to make it to the other side.

When
That can all depend on you. Running away from the challenge usually puts the difficulty off for an undefined length of time. But, it will return. It usually is an universal phenomena. ‘Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today’ was a saying my mum would say to me. Possibly her mum may have said it to her too when she was in her teens.

Train
It would be understandable to remove yourself from a challenge for a short time, build up the necessary skills, strength, understanding and then return and overcome said problem.

Result
The outcome for getting beyond the difficulty is the learning we gain from doing so. Being a life-long learner and a perpetual student of life supports growing past false limitations, possibly put in place by others. Apply understanding and continue honing, growing and improving. I believe growing after facing adversity is one of the best achievements of our lives. Becoming a therapist is a part of that story for me, but so is becoming a father, supervisor, lecturer, writer

Resources
Tom Bilyeu Impact Theory: Agent Smith
Science of Success with Jim Kwik

Images
Photo by Jukan Tateisi on Unsplash
Photo by Chinh Le Duc on Unsplash

Insidious Insight

Rather than fighting when repeatedly attacked I like to write. Here my assailants can be imaginatively deposed…

The peck, peck, pecking,
Had to stop.
The bird had to die, or
Fly. I made it
Flee. Feathers scattered
Like leaves

Behind it’s behind.
The dust it kicked up,
The mess it left.
Reluctantly I picked
At, kissing teeth
Wanting to give chase!

Make sure it left, or
Died bloody.
Sometimes bloody is
What the Leghorn
Knows. Head cocked sideways
Cocky confident.

Airless, knowing less
Every passing day.
I should have chased
Him, made sure he’d
Gone away – dead.
Bad feelings stirred.

Can’t shake them loose!
Stupid goose, silly
Rabbit, crazy
Chicken.

What’s left, are little
Eggs, that can’t be
Seen, felt nor found.
But grow and sap
Strength, from all
Wounded nouns.

Invisibly unlike
Chinese knot weed!
A vine that kills
Everything bound.
Strangling for air,
I wish we never

Met, because your
Depravity eats inside
Of me, like seeds,
From a rotting flower.
Infected my story.
Illuminating what psychology

Can not undo.
The persistent pecking,
From a past riddled
With you
Inside of it.
With lies told.

Continuously, confusingly,
Laboriously splitting,
Futures infinitely.
Denying freshness
Chance to break
In and free…

And look at,
Us, You, her, them.
A quickening,
Insanity installation.
Ruins the light

Again

Resources
Criminal Call Russ Ewing

Images
Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash
Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

Worry

The idea of worry is that once we start we aren’t able to stop. But we can! We are able to critically evaluate the usefulness of the concern and downgrade it. Match it to reality we curate.

Frivolous
The activity is a pointless engagement and I will go in to what worry could be useful later on in this blog.

Generally the worries we become involved with are to do with scenarios we can see happening.

What we can do to either prevent them or how we might make things better if they were to occur.

RTA One of my consistent worries is being involved with a road traffic accident (RTA). I am either a pedestrian or a driver of a vehicle. The few accidents I have been a part of included me crashing into another car after another ploughed into mine. Another accident involved a bike colliding with a car door flung open to change places with my wife who was driving at the time and me on a bike and a car crashing into me. Some were not that serious. So what does this particular worry pertain to?

Prediction
Few if any can predict the future. But we almost want to tell our brains/minds that we can sort of manage the imagined situation if it were to happen. Take the RTA of mine. The useless idea was imagining what the pain, what the hurt and the mess that will happen if an accident did happen again.

A useful idea on worry would be to positively create the steps as to what should happen if ever I was involved in another accident for example,

call my wife,

call the police,

check if the other person is okay,

check that no further traffic accident can happen,

check your body for damage,

review damage to vehicle and theirs,

walk to safety.

Rest.

Regulate breathing.

The more you practice and imagine the what happens next, the lesser the worry takes up space in your mind. Why? Well because you have seen how the event will be when and if it were to occur. You will be ready to deal with that eventuality and know what to do!

The Body Keeps the Score
There is a great section in the Body Keeps the Score book about people who are able to recover after an RTA. Those who get involved suffer less traumatic memory retention because of their working out the challenge at the time of the accident. Using their pre-frontal cortex and using the human part of the brain. Those who block out or blot out the experience of the accident generally fare worse.

Michael Forfieh Counselling presenting the idea that all that we think does not have to be believed.
All is not to believed

So
The advice with worry is to pay attention to what the is concern is.
Evaluate the worry for it’s value and truth.
Develop a strategy as to how to resolve the worry as best you can.
If the worry is a big one see where help can be asked from to support you to reduce the challenge of the concern.
Be proactive, create a new scenario with the challenge resolved.
Think about the scenario being solved and pay attention to how you feel.

It is in the feelings that you can understand what the emotional hijack has been about. You can now see the worry for what it was and how to resolve it.

So now put your energy into solving the challenge.

Mentoring coaching psychotherapy
A good helper can support a person who experiences these challenges. The helper will aim to resolve anxieties and begin working on returning you to a healthy helpful state of calm.

How
By examining the origin of the concern a helper can pinpoint its beginning. Generally the worry is linked to other ideas a person has about themselves including race, class, status, money, childcare, performance outcome and the weather with everything else in between. A helper will aim to establish what the client experiences in heightened states of concern and help you to reduce the siren’s noise and find solution.

Resources
Hidden Brain – Coping with Chaos
Impact Theory – Cultivating a Powerful Worldview
Two Guys on Your Head – Breathing

Images
Cover Photo by Tyrell Charles on Unsplash
Inlaid photo

Not Sharing

Before
There was a time in my life where posting and sharing podcasts was a thing I spent copious amounts of time doing.

I felt that I was performing a useful service by doing so. I thought that by sharing valuable worthy content an involved and engaged conversation would take place.

The dialogue would happen with people from around the world. That the highly sought after content would be worthy of talking about with others. Thereby creating a community of thinkers activists and instigators ready to affect change wherever necessary.

My efforts lasted for 3 months and then ceased. My experiment produced a lethargy and reduced my enthusiasm for sharing what I thought was useful and impactful content.

Busy?
Facing the fact that people are just too busy. That some media users are so engaged with many aspects of life to not have the headspace to listen and take on board novel and different ideas. That commenting or striking up conversation with another could be too much. Now I share valuable content with others directly these include clients, supervisees, friends, family, colleagues.

Chorizo
Focused shares feel like small personally delivered packets of curated wisdom. Slices of high priced information at cost that some take for granted – time. From my first downloads of the Moth Podcast or This American Life I could experience the same enjoyment of listening as I would and do get from reading. I have possibly consumed 1000’s of hours of enriched mixed spicy curated content.

Benign and Boring
When I am doing something like driving, housework, grocery shopping or going for a walk that does not require much auditory attention the ears and brain can switch into a bandwidth where useful information can be downloaded stored used and thought about. Some of the podcasts I listen to has been shared but a large percentage not.

1 thing
There’s one thing putting worthy insightful pieces of life changing information into the hands of people you admire, like, know and love, it’s another thing to put that same energy into/onto others who are oblivious of your efforts.

And so I have stopped.

Unapologetically