Love Rains – The Father Wound

I wanted to revisit the story of invisible wounds that are carried with us into adulthood. To look somemore at where Jill’s story ends and how and why Mos Def’s story begins. The reason: Psychological concepts live in us and are always present. Love Rains offers not just insight but also understanding.

Listen while you read if you can!

The Always Support

Jill Scott
Now me non clairvoyant and in love,
Made the coochie easy and the obvious invisible.
The rain was falling,
And I couldn’t see the season changing,
And the vibe slipping off its axis.
Our beautiful melody became wildly staccato. The…rain…was..falling…and…I…could not…see..that…I..was…to…be
Plowed…
And sown and fertilised,
and left to drown in his sunny afternoon,
Cumulus clouds, 84 degrees,

melody.

Chorus x1

Joy and Risk

Wide open, wide, loose like bowels after collard greens.
The mistake was made, love slipped from my lips,
Dripped down my chin and landed in his lap,
And Us became nu.
Now me non clairvoyant and in love
Made me the fool
You were never true
If you didn’t want me, ah, you should
have let me know
All you did was make a mockery of
Something so
Incredible, beautiful
I honestly did love you
So

Chorus x1

Immature
What then? Both hurt, but for two differing reasons. What follows is time healing and recovering from that pain of loss. Until it is met again and perhaps both can learn how to survive the intimacy and complications that romantic love can bring. For some, men can be less emotionally aware, less in tune with body-mind-emotion connections. Men can feel that shame and fear are the same and do not spend time investigating to understand their differences. Until an adulting experience happens. They are met by circumstances that force change. Then they do. Then they can. Then they will. Willingly facing the denial of their first hurts and begin the process of healing.

Cold and Warmth

Throne Making
Mos Def’s piece blew me away when I first heard it. It still does. No poem before or after had ever exalted and re-set the Black woman so perfectly, I wanted to possess and inhabit these words and the intention behind them, to make right the many centuries of wrong hurt blame shame and pain. This too is my shame. In a word I am sorry for the wrongs that I and my ken have brought to you. I want to make peace with you: Queen.

Mos Def:
I stretched my arms towards the sky like blades of tall grass.
The sun beat between my shoulders like carnival drums.
I sat still in hopes that it would help my wings to grow,
So that I could really be fly.
And then she arrived,
Like day break inside a railway tunnel,
Like the new moon, like a diamond in the mines, like high noon to a drunkard, sudden.
She made my heart beat in a now/now time signature.
Her skinny canvas for ultraviolet brushstrokes;
She was the sun’s painting.
She was a deep cognac color;
Her eyes sparkled like lights along the new city.
Her lips pursed as if her breath was too sweet and full for her mouth to hold.
I said, “you are the beautiful, distress of mathematics.”
I said, “For you, I would peel open the clouds like new fruit;
Give you lightning and thunder as a dowry.
I would make the sky shed all of its stars like rain,
I would clasp the constellations across your waist
and I would make the heavens your cape,
And they would be pleased to cover you.
They would be pleased to cover you,
May I please cover you?
Please”

Adoration

Heady
For me there is little in the way that speaks of adoration and reverie to honour or emits love much better than this. The poem can be interpreted as if to say I am sorry – and somehow yet, still more.

That an idyll can be obtained and brought about between Women and Men in this tale. ‘I see you, have loved you, am in love with you. With you, greater than I could ever be without you. And for that, I will share all that I am and more with you.’ That’s what I interpret in Mos Def’s verse.

The story in the remix offers a safe turn around to what is a well-known and pre-destined ending to love: Loss. Defeat. Endings.

As a result of the Kaemotherapy counselling offer, a number of Black women have been accessing my free workshops on 21st century mental health. I’ll write up my findings about the workshops soon.

Supporting Black women and men have become primary targets for my therapeutic support. There is great work to be completed and I am glad to have found a role that leads to overall wellbeing and health for more people.

Resources

Goddesses of the Roundtable Healing The Father Wound
Brené Brown Unlocking Us Podcast Ask Me Anything
Tony Porter T.E.D. Talk A Call To Men

Images
Cover photo by Larry Crayton on Unsplash
1st Inlay photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash
2nd Inlay photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash
3rd Inlay photo by Chris Benson on Unsplash
4th Inlay photo by Humphrey Muleba on Unsplash


Vicarious Trauma – Jacket

I wrote a few weeks ago about the experience of some people suffering trauma by witnessing harm come to another. Reminding them of their own hurts and past experiences of pain. Writing about Rodney King and then George Floyd has opened the door to an even earlier experience with Stephen and his jacket.

Big or Little T Trauma?
Last week I wrote about the chase by police of me on my bike for reasons unknown. This week I wanted to discuss a first trauma. Yes there were others. The event was momentous as I had not been treated like this by anyone. I was about 7. It was summer. My friend ‘T’ and I were taking it in turns to ride my bike around the estate. The bike a black and yellow Cinzia, was my most treasured Christmas present! The bike was a sort of hybrid BMX.

Looking up.

Summer
It was another hot summer 1979/1980. We kids were not up to much. Playing around the blocks of flats, killing ants, making and firing peg guns at each other and at pigeons. Harassing each other for rides on each others bikes. Playing knock down Ginger. Asking about who’s going to the shop? Because those half penny cola bottle sweets were so tangy and sweet. Tangmere used to have it all. Something unknown to my 7 year old awarness made all of the shops shut and never re-open.

Intimidate
T had somehow met Stephen and been impolitely requested to give him a go of my bike. I believe Stephen had chased T and pulled him off the bike! Stephen was an older kid, maybe 10 or 11. He carried himself with some swagger. I can remember him (Stephen) pulling wheelies and doing long skids along the pavement. Treating (trashing) my bike in a disrespectful and in a way I found unapologetic in manner. Like the bike was his! I was angered by this. T may have told me what had just happened to him. I became livid I can remember. A thought I had was, this could be a case for the Red Hand Gang! But they weren’t around so, I could make this situation better all by myself.

Propulsion
I ran at Stephen and shouted give me my bike back! He ignored me and sailed past. I gave chase. Screaming. Shouting. Wanting. My bike back! We met at Martlesham or Croydon one of those housing blocks on the estate. Stephen had sneered a warning to others who were gathered earlier: “if anyone touches my jacket. You’re dead.” He, Stephen, serious, warned. Me oblivious and not hearing, ignored.

Martlesham and Croydon were 5, 6 or 7 stories high with garden units at their lowest housing level. Both blocks had little to no outdoor space higher up the blocks, unless you counted the landings. All of the housing blocks had double height under building car parks. Our show down (mine and Stephen’s) was to take place in one of the car parks – later. The estate had many outdoor green park spaces dotted throughout the collection of buildings at ground level.

Air Time on bike

Engagement
I think I shoved him in the back, or on the shoulder. Committing the mortal foul of touching his jacket. He had warned all who had cared to listen. But I shoved and he went ballistic. I believe that I started running before my bike hit the ground. Before Stephen started swearing. Before Stephen repeated he would hurt me after he managed to catch me. My feet took me away. At great speed. Fear is a phenomenally great accelerator. 

Distance
I ran. He chased. Back then aged 7. I was Nike. Fleet of foot. Good at bulldog, the running tag game. The 60m dash. The 100m sprint. But distance races I had not spent my time running. Now Stephen was quick too, and run as I might I could not lose him. He relentlessly gained on me. Swearing. I thought I could make it home, but his gallop closed down that line of escape. I turned away from racing home to Tangmere 119. To dodging between parked cars. Feeling that if I could use the cars to hide me I could evade capture.

Scared
I ran for my life. Petrified. I feared that Stephen would finish me. He had said just that! This was happening and whilst in disbelief, I ran. Who threatens who about a Jacket? A jacket! Possession and custody of things I understood on some level. I put my body in harms way to get my bike back. This need felt justified. Right. Believable. Stephen’s need seemed trivial, petty. Unjustified. Stephen wanted to hurt me because he viewed his jacket as sovereign. I had mistakenly entered sacred space. Spoilt thread by touch and so here we were. Lion and gazelle in a death defying race. I feared for my life and ran away to protect it.

Relief
He caught me under Martlesham and punched me a number of times. Head. Neck. Body shots. I wish I could tell you I took them all like a man and didn’t give him the satisfaction of witnessing a tear fall. I believe I cried from one side of the estate to the other. I cried up all the stairs to the top floor of Tangmere and when I got to my door which thankfully was opened by my mum. I went in and told her what had happened. She incensed. The bike left and forgotten where it lay. T later returned the bike.

Night Fades

Many – One
Lost in my mayhem of thoughts and sorrow. I was not out for revenge. I wanted the pain and the sense of defeat at being outrun to pass. The reason – I was fast and rarely beaten in a running battle! There was the curious case of Darren. I wanted not to remember the embarrassment of losing a fight to an older boy. I vaguely remember T trying to defend me either running beside as a distractor or getting in the way of Stephen. Stephen had singled me out to exact his vengeance. And so found – was punished.

Prey
The lion had found his prey and was set to claim his spoils. Remembering this painful memory does a number of things. I get to remember and release the pain that has been embedded in me for almost 40 years. There is also the courage to look at past hurts and witness the learning. I recognise that my experience of the chase trauma bears little resemblance to George Floyd’s murder or Rodney King’s assault. What I am doing is reclaiming my experience of terror. Providing an understanding of an unjust event and by doing so, allowing myself to relieve the experience of a trauma witnessed vicariously. It’s narrative therapy.

If
My want in writing this series is that you the reader come away with an understanding of the term Vicarious Trauma that is personally enhanced. That the resources below support compassion and a commitment to live within an anti-racist frame, and that you comment below on these thoughts.

Resources
Trevor Noah Explains the Domino Effect
Code Switch The Return of Race Science
Unlocking Us with Brené Brown Shame and Accountability
This American Life The Reprieve
Going Home song
How Can We Win Kimberly Jones

Images
Cover photo by Chromatograph on Unsplash City Skyline
1st Inlay photo by Joseph Chan on Unsplash Looking Up Block
2nd Inlay photo by Jean Carlo Emer on Unsplash BMX rider
3rd Inlay photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Night estate

Made it from the bottom

Deeping It: Persistence 5

This blog summarises the experiences of being persistent. The costs and some of the benefits of being able to stick with it.

noun: persistence
the fact of continuing in an opinion or course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.
“Cardiff’s persistence was rewarded with a try”

Similar: perseverance, tenacity, determination, resolve, resolution, resoluteness, staying power, purposefulness, firmness of purpose, patience, endurance, application, diligence, sedulousness, dedication, commitment, doggedness, persistency, pertinacity, assiduity, assiduousness, steadfastness, tirelessness, indefatigability, stamina, intransigence, obstinacy, Sitzfleisch, stickability, stick-to-it-iveness, continuance, perseveration

the continued or prolonged existence of something.
“the persistence of huge environmental problems”

Peck Peck Peck
When I think about persistence I think about someone who is not giving up on their mission. Whatever their mission might be. Not stopping to seek guidance or support from anyone. Feeling and believing that their mission in life has to be completed at all costs. A number of important individuals come to mind when I think about persistency. My 3 sisters, my wife, a number of friends and people I have worked with who have this drive for fulfilment and will not stop until their goals are met.

How?
It is possible that the question is phrased incorrectly. Perhaps the question should be about the why of being persistent rather than the how to be persistent. For some, the drive to continue comes from a question they are seeking answers for. Others are guided, scolded, rewarded for being consistent and persistent. The outcome for someone who is persistent is that an achievement is made. They arrive at the goal they had worked to achieve.

Internally Motivated
Persisting with Energy

Where?
The drive to be persistent I feel is inherited from a range of sources that can include parents, siblings, school and education, noticing injustices, wanting to see a world where your ideas are seen understood and accessed. Others are born persistent and their drive to achieve was inbuilt from the moment they could crawl or walk.

Looks Like?
Being persistent can be a pain for others to experience. But being knocked back. Shut down and disillusioned, doesn’t stop the desire to benefit others and the will to be persistent. I think of Malcolm X when I think about persistence. His persistence, work ethic and commitment to the cause of uplifting a generation of people was extraordinary. Malcolm and the Nation of Islam gave many people hope. Others much to fear. But the vision of achievement and success of wanting African Americans to emancipate themselves from mental slavery was inspiring for many.

Better Futures
Having a vision is a thing that supports someone’s development and commitment to being persistent. I have 2 visions.
The first is to help make psychology both interesting and accessible for the young. A tool that can be used to improve an individuals or many people’s lives.
The 2nd vision arrives in 2 parts. Part a) is to help make the lives of incarcerated peoples visible. Part b) of this vision is to support those serving sentences in prison to develop a fuller understanding of the lives they had lead. The life they are living whilst in prison and what life they can continue once they leave prison.

So
What steps are you going to take if you want to be persistent? How are you going to maintain your energy, commitment, interest and enthusiasm for your cause? What will it mean to achieve your goal? What will happen if you do not?

Resources
Denzel Washington Acceptance Speech
Malcolm X – The Autobiography Alex Haley
Unlocking Us – Brené Brown with Tarana Burke

Images
Cover photo by Boris Stefanik on Unsplash
Inlay photo by Yingchou Han on Unsplash
Intro, Substance, Resilience, Resistance, Insistence

Deeping It: Resistance 4

I take the opportunity to let the idea of resistance run riot. This blog in the series attempts to not restrain itself whilst appreciating the topic of resistance.

noun: resistance
the refusal to accept or comply with something.
“they displayed a narrow-minded resistance to change”

the use of force or violence to oppose someone or something.
“government forces were unable to crush guerrilla-style resistance”

a secret organization resisting authority, especially in an occupied country.
plural noun: resistances; noun: resistance movement; plural

noun: resistance movements
“he went underground and joined the resistance”

Current Experiences
There have been a number of current and recent experiences that deal with resistance Feb – April 2020. Staying at home and protecting ourselves and family from contracting COVID19 supports our health services. There are many other experiences that include presenting strong public opinion to those in power like:
Black Lives Matter movement,
the Me Too movement,
resistance protests about nation states going to war,
closing of mines or factories,
the occupy movement and
stopping to pay attention to the crises of global warming by a young Swedish school student that inspired the extinction agenda.

Wall
Putting up a resistance ultimately is about standing up for something you believe in. You may feel that an issue or a problem you face is unfair. You may want the direction of a concept or policy decision or a group of people’s ideas to change.

Being someone who resists can bring with it an experience of conflict. For young and mature individuals the idea of conflict can be a break from the norm. Realisations and advances are made at a greater speed in times of conflict. The conflict could involve intellectual, moral, gender concerns and differences, race, scientific, religious, economic, social, ethnic, cultural and educational *awareni.

Fight
When I think about resistance I often think about buildings resisting gravity or of the American Civil Rights Movement. For something to be resistant towards an ideal or a way of thinking, that something is invited to oppose – strongly.

Beach Peace a coming together after fighting with self, another or the day.
After Conflict Comes Peace

Logically and emotionally the idea appears not to hold together much like Dave Chang’s Ugly Delicious Netflix show. But somehow it does! An idea such as capitalism or socialism exist along a continuum. Both existing to support communities and the state and having different ideas of how each achieves good for all.

Food Journeys
In Ugly Delicious The Chef, Dave Chang, travels the world to discover food origins and stories of the people that cook amazing meals. The show presents us with the idea that food can be much more than pleasing to the eye, or technically advanced. That food can be about just bringing people together with the experience of eating. Ugly D is an intellectual fight and an education at the same time through what looks like amazing food.

Day to Day
On a down to earth level, resistance is about recognising what you want and identifying what you don’t. Making sure you recognise another person’s agenda for you. Being okay to stick with your choice. The choice you made may well be in opposition to another or other people’s ideas. Being okay with that is an awareness of tension and continuing to resist!

Continuing
There is a saying that ‘What you resist, persists’. Here I pause for thought. The reason I say this is because acceptance of something becomes a mindful act. When full acknowledgement of an experience happens, we can then accept it and choose to take it, or leave it. Knowing fully what it is. If we are simply resisting something that is not known fully it is likely to persist.

Let Go
The reason that an idea or an experience persists is because part of our minds hasn’t fully appreciated it and so cannot let it go. 10 years ago (Oct 2010), I started my career at a London prison. I had a genuine curiosity about men and women I would meet behind the wall. What lives did they lead before? How were they living now in prison? What would happen once they returned to the community? Until I had satisfied these questions I would find myself wondering.

With Great Power
Not all curiosities without prior research are to be jumped into. Be aware and satisfy wanting to know more by reading or consuming a lot of media on any subject or topic. The internet is like a Library. Use it well.

With Caution
Lived experience is one thing, sometimes accessing information from others is just as useful. Reducing the intensity of an itch could be a goal. Thereby closing a loop. What are you currently resisting? What reasons do you have for pushing against? What would happen if you stopped resisting?

Resources
How a Resistance Movement Succeeds by Nicolas Berggruen
Kerning Cultures Fight or Flight

Images
Cover photo by Mike Ko on Unsplash
Inlay photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
Intro, Substance, Resilience, Persistence, Insistence

Deeping It: Resilience 3

A short story. A long time ago (Mar 1986), in a housing office in Wood Green North London, I completely broke down and cried like I hadn’t ever cried before or since.

I was 12 years old. We had just been kicked out of temporary accommodation and found ourselves homeless on the streets of Finsbury Park. My mum was able to hail a cab and with our few belongings in bags, got us to said housing office.

Shopping Days
It was a Saturday. I thought about my friends and how their Saturday’s perhaps were going. I felt cheated and that what was happening to us was unfair! What my mother, my 2 sisters and me were going through didn’t add up. I couldn’t understand it. Being thrown out of the Majestic Hotel made no sense to me! For roughly 20 minutes I was inconsolable. Nothing like this had ever happened to us. A sense of being lost in familiarity!

The idea of being a man and not buckling under the weight of being evicted I didn’t care about. The tears came. The tears hot and unstoppable. The tears were about the shame I felt, as much as they were about a frustrated internal pain that I hadn’t known before.

Never
I since have gone on to achieve a number of significant personal milestones. I think the largest was getting married to the amazing Dr CW and raising a family of my own.

Professionally – my latest lecturing experience at UEL was another achievement. I presented a passionate argument about incarceration with 3rd year psychology students.. We (they and I) discussed the demerits of prison and the criminal justice system in the UK.

I mention the achievement because at the age of 12 nothing like a career in counselling or presenting at a University had ever crossed my mind. I had designs that I was going to be an Artist.

Resiliencey
Making decisions. Sitting on a wall.

Achievement or?
What does this have to do with resilience? Being able to not only withstand difficult life experiences when they hit, but when knocked on your ass, to get back up! Rising time and again is almost a dare to the universe. You can make it through an incredibly hard time. To look beyond into a different future and ride out this period of discomfort.

Resilience
Is as much an idea as it is a continuous practice. We all have areas that we can be resilient about. Other words to describe resilience can include Determination, Grit, Toughness or Stubbornness. You may have heard the phrase, get knocked down 7 times, get up 8. The idea is resiliency, in and of itself.

Reset
It’s the getting back up part and being willing capable and curious enough to go again. A perfect film that describes a person’s resilience is the 2020 Netflix release of Uncorked. The tale of a young African American Sommelier (Wine Taster) who takes on the challenge to become what in his heart of hearts he longs to be. A knowledgeable wine connoisseur who can choose wine for guests at a restaurant or hotel and describe what the guests are going to enjoy in their glass.

Propulsion

I mentioned him earlier. George the poet from Have You Heard George’s Podcast, is another person who sums up the experience of a person who is resilient.

George the Poet, has experienced personal tragedy and turmoil. The difficulties jet propel him to go in another direction with his skills in music and words. I can see his poetry becoming lessons for anyone with ears to hear and a mind that is willing to go deeper, to see.

Take Off
Perhaps secondary schools and colleges will unpack George’s many ideas and commentaries about social mobility and being able to pivot. Another Poet/Rapper whose words and music have been made in to school lessons is Kendrick Lamar. To be resilient then is not only for our ‘nows’. But for what follows after. Stick around. You’ll see…

Resources
How to Fail with Elizabeth Day and Otegha Uwagba
Science of Success Matt Bodnar with Jim Kwik
Wanna Be Podcast Imrie with Emilie Wapnick Multipotentialite
Pivot – Book Jenny Blake

Images
Cover photo by Lou Batier on Unsplash
Inlay photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash
Intro, Substance, Resistance, Persistence, Insistence

Deeping It: Substance 2

When I initially think of substance, two conflicting ideas present themselves. One is positive. The other invites risk. Below I will explain my thinking.

Substance Definition
noun
A particular matter tube with uniform properties. “a steel tube coated with a waxy substance”

Similar: Material, Matter, Stuff, Medium, Fabric.

The real physical matter of which a person or thing consists and which has a tangible solid presence. “proteins compose much of the actual substance of the body”

Substances
The other definition is related to substance misuse or substance abuse: Loosely this relates to using various forms of intoxicating elements that cause people to feel differently about oneself or life experiences. The abuse happens when someone uses a substance regularly to feel better. Their using of a substance can be reasonably controlled. When a substance like alcohol is used a part of the brain can stop working properly for a time. Hormones called serotonin and dopamine are released which can make someone feel good. The length of time they feel good for can last for a few moments or a number of hours.

Having Substance
When a person is said to have substance that person usually is: Safe, Honest, Good to be around, Solid, Fair in nature, Level headed, Trustworthy, Charitable, Kind, sort of Golden. They appear to be well liked and have a good circle of friends around them. They stick to their morals and can stand up for what they believe is right. This person of substance can be stubborn and get in the way of other people’s ideas of having fun. They may be left in their own company but seem to accept that others don’t see things their way. They can also admit when they have got it wrong, and not become bitter with people in their close circle.

Having Substance
Jumping into It

Beginning
The person who has substance comes from a range of backgrounds that could include poor, refugee, from lower classes, or from wealthy families. In some instances their character is honed from adversities/tough experiences. Others find their substance going against their families wishes. They may become ostracised/divorced from their family of origin. For many people going through tough times that person can break. For a person of substance the breaking is what is needed to arrive at what they now know, and want to share with the rest of the world. Breaking down can lead to break through.

Light Shine
For someone who is of substance they appear to emit a glow, a deep sense of knowing that is as comforting as it is attractive. We often find ourselves pulled in to their gravity of being – much like a star – a hole in space. Possibly they were not always the way they seem now. We may not have been there as they battled with unseen demons, emotions, thoughts or personal tragedies. But the who they are now, we find captivates our imagination and invites us, also to be more.

Resources
How to Fail with Elizabeth Day and Mo Gawdat
Have You Heard George’s Podcast ep 9

Images
Cover photo by Conrad Ziebland on Unsplash
Inlay photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash
Intro, Resilience, Resistance, Persistence, Insistence

Intro to Deeping/Deepening It: Substance, Resilience, Resistance, and Persistence 1

A good friend asked me to write something for young people. She WhatsApp’ed – ‘Hi Michael, some words which last year I was playing around with, in regards to much but, our young. Is there something you might be able to say with them? Substance, Resilience, Resistance and Persistence.’

Er…
The first words that came to me was I don’t think I have ever been commissioned to write for a specific group of people on a blog before. Come to think about it some more, there was the lecture series at Greenwich University. I developed and delivered 6 lectures for their under grad psychology and counselling students in 2018. But a blog I have not specifically been asked to write before. So here goes…

A working week
This request I feel is something else. I haven’t been prescribed length, style or a content delivery method by my friend. These pieces have been left for me to choose which directions I go.

What I can say about what will happen is, I will write a series of roughly 500-600 word *synopsi. These *synopsi will cover each topic over a 5-day period in a quasi-tutorial of my thinking. The intention is to make the information impactful.

A short anonymous questionnaire will be added to the last topic: Insistence and will insist you to complete. There will be a call for a change of perspectives. For long held opinions to be uprooted and chance to experience life differently, perhaps.

George’s
If you are late to the party of ‘Have You Heard George’s Podcast’, I would say stop here and listen to the first 3 episodes. Why? Well apart from every episode being absolute line for line brilliance. And they are. George’s podcasts series is a perfect example of the 4 words I have been invited to speak/write about.

Substance:
Throughout the series of podcasts George talks about his experiences growing up and seeing his neighbourhood turn. Throughout each episode George gives an insight to his beginnings and about his family. He speaks about his home, his country of origin, music and becoming the man he is as a result of what he has seen and lived through.

Considering it all. What lies ahead. MichaelForfiehCounselling
Deeping It

Resilience:
At one point in his life George was to become a rapper and turned away from this path to do something (different) more. The knock back gave him a push to travel somewhere other than his friends and contemporaries had. He learned to believe in himself and how amazing his journey has been. *Inspirator.

Resistance:
I played part 16 of George’s podcast to my family, on one of the 1st Lockdown weekends here in London. They didn’t get it. George used the metaphors of the internal workings of his mind to help explain his creative processes. His rhyme and meter were used by differing voices to explain what they were doing in George’s head.

My wife (Dr CW) thought that George was having a schizophrenic episode. Their voices were of the streets. Using patois and London street *slanguage to explain their position within George’s mind. This episode was wild. What George illustrates over and over is how determined he is to see his vision exist and help others to have their realities exist too.

Lastly Persistence:
In one episode of the podcast series George speaks about leaving his area and moving to go to a private school on a full scholarship. He explains that he doesn’t want to go. But his parents and the school he is going to recognise his potential, fully.

George eventually sees the error in his pre-judgement. He becomes an agent in wanting to remain aspiring rather than simply achieving. There are knocks but he makes his journey beyond North London to a Russel Group University. To become…

Renew/Review/Rethink?
My intention for this mini-series of blogs; is for you to find something useful within these words. That the mini series of blogs, titled Deeping It, at least invite you to rethink elements of life and make appropriate plans to suit.

Resources
Have You Heard George’s Podcast  look for episode 1
Tom Bilyeux Impact Theory ep 162
TED Radio Hour Comfort Zone

Images
Cover photo by Jadon Barnes on Unsplash
Inlaid photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash
Substance, Resilience, Resistance, Persistence, Insistence

Shepherds Pie

On Writing

Obsession
This writing thing has become an important part of my self-expression and sharing these thoughts with you has been a commitment to the art of crafting something from nothing.

Feint wisps of ideas.

Gossamer on air.

Insecto
I use my notepad on my phone to catch a fly through thought, before it completely disappears. There’s something wild about these fresh new ideas, like capturing a butterfly or firefly.

Net it
There have been many I miss. Usually I am driving to one of the prisons I work at listening to a podcast. A new idea will arrive with what I am listening to. Most of the time when I park the car and get out, the thought has left me. Foolishly I think the thought much like that butterfly will return.

Sometimes
Like that delicate insect, the idea sort of does and sort of doesn’t. It twists and is lost in the turbulence of other thoughts. Then returns changed adapted and disguised with a cacophony of close and distant cousin ideas. There are times when I fret that Thursday mornings will arrive and at 08:30am BST I will have nothing to say, share or display. There have been close calls where I am honing and shaping unruly paragraphs or hyperlinks in before my weekly deadline of Thursday 08:30.

Real Artists
Then there are those weeks when the butterfly returns with friends. I find that I cannot keep my hands still or supple enough to capture all that my mind is whizzing through. Much like my *inspirator Jeff Goins. I feel that art is in each and everyone of us.

Capturing Moments

Scribble
Like the Islamic Calligrapher friend that I know. Who’s artistic talent of putting brush to paper I am ardently waiting to see, or the chef, the poet, stand up comedian, the teacher, the rapper, presentation maker, film producer, coach and fellow writers – their craft all waiting for daylight to see what they release.

Schedule
Generally I don’t have a regular pattern to my time of writing. I just do. Some write every morning. Some in the evening. For me it’s as often as I can and when I do, I am searching for diamonds or gold amongst acres of untilled soil. Currently this paragraph is being written whilst the last touches to a shepherd’s pie are added. I stand in the kitchen watching, so that just enough of everything including spice is introduced. My job was to mash the potatoes add milk, butter and then add freshly grated nutmeg.

Authoring Trumpets
The episode of Broken Record exemplifies my experience of writing. What Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers says about the experience of writing in the podcast, resonates with me.

Flea raises what my day to day battles, triumphs and failures, with writing are like and largely lie unknown. The failures get deleted before they are released. I try hard to polish these pieces before they are let loose.

Some blogs land like damp dish sponges. Others I feel stand out like jewels. Acid For the Children from Broken Record with Rick Rubin, Malcolm Gladwell, Bruce Headlam and Justin Richmond is a great portrayal of a person willing to find their riddle.

Inherent
With just over 100 pieces of sprawling thought. Filling time and air and web space the goal is to get to 200 and then see:

  • Have these blogs provided value
  • Are they worth reading
  • What would Thursday’s or Fridays look like without these musings

I value what 2 years of consistent insistent and persistent practice have taught and helped me to unearth. I can only hope that you have appreciated what 1 – 3 hours of processed thoughts do.

Cavernous
In 2015 when I began writing I did not realise what I had started. How much I would gain from putting pen to paper – Now more type to screen.

I am surprised by the amount of learning I would gather. Be a willing contributor to a sharing economy with these pages. A highlight for me is when speaking with others knowing that there are tunnel’s worth of processed thought and impressions. Waiting to be discovered at the push of a button. These embossed ideas lay behind and underneath me. I have used my blogs to illustrate a point that reference other’s words and ideas too. Like a labyrinth with no Minotaur I am curious about everything and what lies at the tunnel’s ending.


Resources
Broken Record Acid for the children – a conversation with Flea
2 Guys on Your Head – on Writing
Everything is Alive – Sharpie Pen

Images
Cover photo by Michael Opoku-Forfieh
Inlay photo by Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash

Structure Them

As with most things in life structure is an important part to creating anything.

Taking Inspiration and Flying
My blog writing has been a flight of fancy, of fantasy and for me a moderate success.

Flight
In 5 years I have grown my readership organically from 10 readers to just over 100. Organically meaning I have posted and readers have liked and then followed the blog. I have attempted campaigns where I have invited friends and family to take a look and subscribe. This took me from being scared to being willingly vulnerable. I had to as Brene Brown would say call on my courage to complete this task. The worst that could happen is readers, family and friends state that they are not interested in reading my work and not click subscribe.
That’s it?
Yup.
Bad huh?

1000’s
The number of readers could always be greater. With time. With consistency. With diligence. With transparency. With vulnerability. With a clear call to action and a clear message the number of quality readers/responders will grow. I am interested in the number of readers growing as some of what I write and think, I intuit is relevant, useful and slightly educative for a few people.

Tate Modern London

Structure Meaning
I will be spending time over the next few weeks re-writing most of my blogs so that they are clear in what they are inviting readers to act on. The blogs are written with the intention to be informative. I have found that the thought that begins the blog post sometimes does not travel all the way to the end. The inspiration leads on to other thoughts and ideas that could be confusing. Leading you astray is where I can get better as a writer. The craft of blog writing is about clarity and information leading to an action.

Action
For me the intention of the blog was to inform others about the thoughts I had about the life I am living. I am still interested in that aim, however the call now is to drive readers to take action. That could include responding to the blog post or any of the 70+ I have written. Read the links included in the blog to increase perspective of what I have written and then respond. Read or buy the book listed in the hyperlink (I currently am not an affiliate marketer), listen to the podcast I have included or watch the youtube video.

Pointing
The aim here – I am interested in having in depth conversations either online or in person with others who have a wider appreciation for the life we are living/leading. The writings of the blogs helps articulate my thinking the aim is not to end the conversation there but to grow the thinking and generate further ideas.

To End

My blogs are going to change. Bare with them and me. A metamorphosis is happening, it possibly is happening for you too.

CTA

The aim of this blog was to share that from a simple and chaotic yet interesting beginning the Therapist on a Journey is changing. If you have read on to the end can you:

  • Send this on to 5 people that you feel would benefit from reading these words
  • Post a comment below or drop me a line at michaelforfieh@gmail.com

Past Future Presents

Being willing and able to stand out. Not stand amongst. Daring to be counted for or against. Being the binaried other. The up to the down side .

Three writers

Three weeks

Three stories and many many more. James, Davis and Thomas. All came to London, all discussed their books and visions.

All at the Southbank Centre. London.

All witnessed by the Grateful I.

All Inspirational.

All willing the next generation of writers, to pick up and sign on the Ether: that is fabric, that trick of time, a slice of magic.

With Angie Thomas the bright energy of her torch is carried aloft and loudly. Her message is one of hope and endearing those who are young, to knock down the doors to the banquet. Not ask for a seat at the table. Take the table and the hall!

Healing as action, a right for the young the mature, for the willing and the able.

For Marlon James – Black Leopard and Red Wolf was a call out for healing. Split psyches, broken dreams and promises, pooling resources and hollowing out ones own truth from African spirituality and new/old mythology.

For Angela Davis the story too was also about healing and about activism and about spanning histories and movements like a fan. My notes cannot do her enough justice so I cobble these sentences to scramble my meanings – together and then loosen.

In three short weeks I recognised that we are speeding towards a downpour of words, acts and decisions that have the potential to irrevocably change minds hearts and futures. Whatever the outcomes some ideas remain, things change – Always